Summers End

Bilbosring

Summers End


Summer ended today,
my hopes and dreams all gone away,
Talks of fate and hopes to come,
like winters leaves have come undone.

The sun still shines it doesn’t know,
Like my memories, it can’t cease to glow.
Why she went, she said it plain,
That’ll be poor comfort, once comes the rain.

Life goes on, there’s little I can say,
The seasons change, they’ll have their way.
My friends will scorn with talk of fields to play,
They won’t get it. My summers gone away.



My first Poem! knock me down, tell it like it is!!

B.

La_Gordy

I really like your concept in this poem and i think that it very well done and I can relate to it. The only "criticism" i have is that some likes are quite long and muddled, not fluid to read.
E.g.The sun still shines it doesn’t know,
Like my memories, it can’t cease to glow
and
My friends will scorn with talk of fields to play

and
like winters leaves have come undone. {theres something that seems too rushed in this line, i think the two ending s' don't work well for what i think your trying to portray}

But excellent job!

callmescratch

hey well done man, i cant even rhyme
i'll post here some day instead of just reading.

BEAT

nice work