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qantas

  • 15-10-2003 3:43pm
    #1
    greg_f
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 122 ✭✭


    Never let it be said that Australian ground crews and engineers lack a
    >> > sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by
    >> > QANTAS
    >> > pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way,
    >> > Qantas is the only major airline worldwide that has never had an major
    >>accident.
    >> >
    >> > (P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands
    >> > for the solution taken by the mechanics.)
    >> >
    >> > P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    >> > S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    >> >
    >> > P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
    >> > S: Boeing did not install Autoland package on this aircraft.
    >> >
    >> > P: Something loose in cockpit.
    >> > S: Something tightened in cockpit.
    >> >
    >> > P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    >> > S: Live bugs on backorder.
    >> >
    >> > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    >> > S: Evidence removed.
    >> >
    >> > P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    >> > S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    >> >
    >> > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    >> > S: That's what they're there for!
    >> >
    >> > P: IFF inoperative.
    >> > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    >> >
    >> > P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
    >> > S: Suspect you're right.
    >> >
    >> > P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engine
    >> > airplane;
    >> > the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
    >> > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
    >> >
    >> > P: Aircraft handles funny.
    >> > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
    >> >
    >> > P: Radar hums.
    >> > S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
    >> >
    >> > P: Mouse in cockpit.
    >> > S: Cat installed.


    :ninja:


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