And God Created Ireland

The Bum · 08-10-2003 11:50am #1

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days.
Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him. He enquired of God
"Where were you?" God breathed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look son, look what I'm after making".

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said "What is it?" God replied

"It's another planet, but I'm after putting Life on It. I've named it Earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it. For example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and South America will be poor, and the narrow bit joining them
will be a hot spot. Now look over here, I've put a continent of whites in
the North and another one of blacks in the South." Then the Archangel said "What's that
green dot there?"
"Ahhh,that's the Emerald Isle," God said,"that's a very special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on
Earth, beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers,streams and exquisite coastline.

These people here are going to be great crack and they're going to be found travelling the world They'll be playwrights and poets, singers and
songwriters and I'm going to give them this black liquid, which they're going to go mad on, and for which people will come from the far corners of the Earth to drink. Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration,

then seemingly startled, he said, "Hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, .......you said there was going to be balance..?"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the *****rs I'm putting next door to them!!

Len_007 · 08-10-2003 1:18pm

You'll never beat the Irish

IgnatiusJRiley · 08-10-2003 1:28pm

Originally posted by Len_007
You'll never beat the Irish

Old, crap joke. And the English beat us many times.

dudara · 08-10-2003 2:26pm

yeah but look who won in the end.

just look over at their country with trains crashing every day, an atrocious education system. at least iarnrod eireann, despite their general incompetence are safe, and an irish degree is worth somthing, compared to an english one. We actually suffer from being next to them, because other countries sometimes assume we're the same.

slave1 · 08-10-2003 2:37pm

the sun never sits on the british empire
who laughing now
all of feckin india can move to england legal
all they need is a driving licence
an indian driging test is start a car, drive straight for 100 meters and stop - not joking here
the whole of london will soon be all ethnics
ha ha
who won
everyone hates the british
everyone loves the Irish
travel and you'll find that out

Pugsley · 08-10-2003 4:00pm

irish > all

IgnatiusJRiley · 08-10-2003 4:12pm

Originally posted by dudara
yeah but look who won in the end.

at least iarnrod eireann, despite their general incompetence are safe

Only because we have bugger all trains!!!!

dudara · 08-10-2003 4:43pm

they have the trains, they're just afraid of the wet leaves and won't put them out on the tracks

de5p0i1er · 08-10-2003 9:15pm

Heard it years ago but it's still funny.

Mossy Monk · 08-10-2003 9:44pm

Originally posted by dudara
trains crashing every day

didnt we have a train derailment in this country only yesterday

Dr. Loon · 09-10-2003 7:53am

Ehhh... lads. This is the humour board, stop arguing.
Good old joke

Tyrrial · 09-10-2003 9:08am

it's funny cos Ireland sucks...
(being irish i'm aloud say that);)

Mac daddy · 09-10-2003 9:27pm

Originally posted by IgnatiusJRiley
Old, crap joke. And the English beat us many times.

There is always bloody one mad: Tit

Good old joke

Spiffing · 09-10-2003 10:07pm

With that joke you sure are showing the English.

de5p0i1er · 10-10-2003 6:19pm

Originally posted by Mac daddy
There is always bloody one mad: Tit

Good old joke

Mad dosen't begin to describe it.

MadsL · 10-10-2003 11:19pm

never sits on the british empire
who laughing now
all of feckin india can move to england legal
all they need is a driving licence
an indian driging test is start a car, drive straight for 100 meters and stop - not joking here
the whole of london will soon be all ethnics
ha ha
who won
everyone hates the british
everyone loves the Irish
travel and you'll find that out

Hmm....racist, moi?

Irish degree perhaps...

Kold · 11-10-2003 6:05pm

Yayyyyy lets fan the flames of hatreddddd

/me anglo

MrJoeSoap · 13-10-2003 9:42pm

just look over at their country with trains crashing every day, an atrocious education system. at least iarnrod eireann, despite their general incompetence are safe, and an irish degree is worth somthing, compared to an english one. We actually suffer from being next to them, because other countries sometimes assume we're the same.

My god that is pathetic. Do you think the people who died on those trains had ever even considered criticising this poxy god-forsaken hell hole of a country we live in? Have some sense and think before you write. Its not as if Ireland is without fault. The LUAS is a mess, our politicians are nothing if not corrupt, and the level of scum roaming our streets is unbearable. A good joke nonetheless.

Peace,
The Soapster.

Big Chief · 16-10-2003 10:58am

Originally posted by dudara
yeah but look who won in the end.

just look over at their country with trains crashing every day, an atrocious education system. at least iarnrod eireann, despite their general incompetence are safe, and an irish degree is worth somthing, compared to an english one. We actually suffer from being next to them, because other countries sometimes assume we're the same.

you sir, are a muppet.

have a good day

and i could also argue with alot of the points, but i cant be bothered to generalise.

And God Created Ireland

Comments