am i just fooling myself?

LegacyUser · 22-09-2003 2:36pm #1

really need people's opinions on this.

i've really liked a friend of mine for the past few months, we've just started to get to know each other properly and are spending a lot of time together just hanging out and talking.

he is a fairly quiet guy and not very outgoing, he's the opposite of me really but we click and are very good friends.

a few weeks ago i was with a mutaul friend of ours just a bit of drunken kissing but he seemed kinda jealous of this and started being really attentive.

we were out at the weekend and i stayed in his house and we stayed up for hours talking. he kissed me and i definately wasn't complaining. it was very innocent no wandering hands or anything just nice, but eventually he said he was wrecked tired and that i obviously was too, i ended up sleeping in the spare room alone.

i wasn't planning on having sex with him, i wouldn't have but most guys would try anyway and i probably wouldnt be sleeping alone.

i'm confused now as to whether he's actually interested.

guys would ye kiss someone you're interested in not try anything else and then kick her out of your room?

IgnatiusJRiley · 22-09-2003 2:43pm

he obviously chickened out. Make a move on him

Thanx 4 The Fish · 22-09-2003 2:47pm

Ye, I have heard about these rare breeds, they are called Gentlemen and will probably not try to hop you straight after your first kiss. strange isn't it. Just go with it and see what happens, if you like him and he likes you then keep on with the kissing and see how it progresses...

Beruthiel · 22-09-2003 2:53pm

Originally posted by MadAboutABoy
i'm confused now as to whether he's actually interested

yup
as Thanx 4 The Fish said, he’s a gentleman – hence the confusion as you’ve probably not encountered one before....

perhaps he's taking his time and enjoying the anticipation of things to come
jump his bones next time he tries something

Heresy · 22-09-2003 2:55pm

I'm exactly like that. I've been in situations before with ladies where opportunities have come along to sleep with them. To be honest, this only happens to me every blue moon. I usually end up kissing them and it ends at that. For instance, I think if I knew a particular girl really well, sleeping with her would be fairly natural, otherwise no.

smiles · 22-09-2003 3:00pm

He seems lovely!

<< Fio >>

Raz · 22-09-2003 3:16pm

IMO, you have the basis of a long term relationship there.
Yes, he's interested.
Yes, he's a gentleman.
Yes, he respects you (and your body! Rare!!!

).

The quite ones are always the most surprising

DriftingRain · 22-09-2003 3:23pm

a few weeks ago i was with a mutaul friend of ours just a bit of drunken kissing but he seemed kinda jealous of this and started being really attentive.

Coulda been that he was wanting to look after his friend and not let her get taken advantage of!

i'm confused now as to whether he's actually interested.

Yes he sounds fully intresyed in you. I suggest you cook a great dinner and invite him over and make him yours:) He sounds lovley as Fio said!!!

Good Luck!

JohnnyBravo · 22-09-2003 3:26pm

he is a gentleman besides if he had slept with you then he would loose interest trust me if a girl puts out quickly the guy looses interest quickly or on the other side of the coin he might be a virgin

moridin · 22-09-2003 3:36pm

But either way he seems to respect you and himself, so it's good

jesus_thats_gre · 22-09-2003 5:57pm

I am sort of the same myself... He probably didnt want to offend you or was worried about getting shot down...

Speaking from experience, he is probably hoping you jump him...

Typedef · 22-09-2003 9:48pm

Originally posted by Thanx 4 The Fish
Ye, I have heard about these rare breeds, they are called Gentlemen and will probably not try to hop you straight after your first kiss.

No no.

You're getting confused with prudes.

To the poster.
Listen : Love, whoever you are.

Either
a) Grab him and demand sex or
b) Grab me and demand sex.

Actually scratch option a.

LegacyUser · 23-09-2003 10:08am

thats the kinda stuff our friends have been telling me. friends i've met out when i've been with him have thought we're a couple and that we're really good together.

was texting him last night in a tipsy state (not a good idea) and i mentioned the kissing. he said that it was as far as he was conerned it was just a drunken kiss end of story

patch · 23-09-2003 10:18am

Originally posted by MadAboutABoy
thats the kinda stuff our friends have been telling me. friends i've met out when i've been with him have thought we're a couple and that we're really good together.

was texting him last night in a tipsy state (not a good idea) and i mentioned the kissing. he said that it was as far as he was conerned it was just a drunken kiss end of story

Does that mean you'll be demanding sex from Typedef??

JohnnyBravo · 23-09-2003 10:22am

i would at this stage like to throw my hat into the ring

Beruthiel · 23-09-2003 10:32am

Originally posted by MadAboutABoy
was texting him last night in a tipsy state (not a good idea) and i mentioned the kissing. he said that it was as far as he was conerned it was just a drunken kiss end of story

not something you should really be discussing in texts
wait until you are face to face and then bring it up, the eyes are the windows to your soul, you can tell so much more

Typedef · 23-09-2003 10:34am

You can text me at

1800-Hunk.

JohnnyBravo · 23-09-2003 10:35am

wow thats deep but as a rule generally men only discuss their feelings when tipsy and all his eyes are goin to say then is man im drunk and my eyes are red

LegacyUser · 23-09-2003 10:57am

Originally posted by Beruthiel
not something you should really be discussing in texts
wait until you are face to face and then bring it up

i know texts are a bad idea, haven't really seen mouch of him and prob wont again til next week so i just wanted to make sure things were ok with us.

drunken night out next week prob staying in his house. we'll see

on the other matter.... no i'm not planning on having sex with typedef! or any of ye i was looking for a bit of advice not a mad orgy

JohnnyBravo · 23-09-2003 10:59am

But orgys make everyone feel good

Beruthiel · 23-09-2003 11:09am

Originally posted by MadAboutABoy
no i'm not planning on having sex with typedef!

if you have a pair of stiletto heals then he can be persuaded to go mono a mono

However, I’m fed up pimping for Typie and not getting paid for it

I’m downing tools Typie till I see the cheque

dod · 23-09-2003 11:19am

Either
a) Grab him and demand sex or
b) Grab me and demand sex.

Actually scratch option a. [/B]

Aw c'mon Typedef, get off the fence. What exactly is it that you want?

Who said romance was dead?

Typedef · 23-09-2003 11:40am

Originally posted by Beruthiel
if you have a pair of stiletto heals then he can be persuaded to go mono a mono

However, I’m fed up pimping for Typie and not getting paid for it

I’m downing tools Typie till I see the cheque

C'mon... you know I'll pay...

I just gotta make one more score.

on the other matter.... no i'm not planning on having sex with typedef

Generally, that's what makes it such a wonderful and spontaneous event!
Lucky you.
*wink*

WhiteWashMan · 23-09-2003 12:18pm

what do you need the drunken night out for?
to test if he likes you or not?

can you not plan to see him socially in a non drinky enviroment?
always best i find to do 'hangy roundy' things.
like go tot he cinema in the afternoon, drink coffee, feed the ducks, go shopping for a new dress!
if he is interested, he will come along just to keep you company and you can chat and just enjoy each others company without the need to get another pint down for dutch courage.

also, watch out for any of the touchy feely stuff. i dont mean the unwanted stuff, i mean brushing of your arm, putting ahand on your back to usher you forward, tapping you on the hand or arm while asking youa wquestion to get your attention.
in fact, all the stuff you would do if you liked someone.

to be honest, nothing happened the first 4 times i was with an ex, because i liked her, and if you like someone and respect someone then you will do whatever you think shows like and respect.
on the other hand, you dont think about what she thinks!

by the way, his 'its late comment,im tired, time for bed' comment counld have been his way of suggesting something, but you didnt pick up on it. boys can very coy sometimes

remember, they are just as nervous and stuff as girls are.

he sounds nice enough. if you like him, go for it. ask him. whats the worst he will say?

scojones · 23-09-2003 12:31pm

I agree with WWM ( for once

). Meet up with him and talk. The worst that can happen is he'll say no, but you keep him as a friend.

WhiteWashMan · 23-09-2003 12:51pm

Originally posted by sjones
I agree with WWM ( for once ).

christ!
keep it under your hat

Typedef · 23-09-2003 12:55pm

There's a lot to be said for taking him to the pub and having drunken monkey sex with him.

Of course technically you'd be taking advantage of him, by doing that and when he was sober, you might find he'd changed his mind about you.

Yeah... maybe suggest he takes you to the movies... (and just happen to wear a low cut top) and skimpy skirt.

Works for me....
(don't go there).

LegacyUser · 23-09-2003 1:33pm

we've do the non-drink environment thing all the time. we can talk for hours about everything but never us. i'm not looking to get him drunk but when we head out its easier to lose everyone else. and get sometime to ourselves. all the best chats i've had with him have been after nights out when we're relaxed and by ourselves and just come back to house and chat for ages.

tis very hard to see him on his own, theres always a crowd of us hanging out together and doing stuff

LegacyUser · 23-09-2003 1:37pm

Originally posted by Typedef
There's a lot to be said for taking him to the pub and having drunken monkey sex with him.

but that wasn't happening thats what i was posting about, drunk, talking kissing and no sign of monkey sex.

Victor · 23-09-2003 2:41pm

Janet is that you?

WhiteWashMan · 23-09-2003 3:05pm

you fool typedef!

its wild weasle monkey sex!

and if thats what you want, then you should take him home after one of these nights, or hell, do it in the day, take him ot your room, push him back onto the bed and then start kiss him.

in fact, its probably better, whatever way you do it, to not be drunk. because then he will just think you are being a drunken harlot! but if you get him while youa re both sober, then kiss him, and then make with the hands on the body, or take his hand, and put it on yours.
hell, do whatever feels good, and i mean whatever!
and then tell us all about it.
oh yes, im warming up my hand now!

Typedef · 23-09-2003 5:13pm

Yeah, just make a barefaced pass at him, with the erotic oils, the candles, and the video equipment[1].

If he rejects you... he's probably gay, so no worries, maybe introduce him to 'bret' ... your friend who's into interior decoration.

but that wasn't happening thats what i was posting about, drunk, talking kissing and no sign of monkey sex.

Yeah, but, I already gave you my 800 number.

[1]No disappointing wwm's hand.

Wolf · 24-09-2003 12:28am

The more I like a girl the less I would try to force things ***. Thats not to say that if she seemed up for it I wouldnt go for it.

The thing is if I really liked her then I would fear her been repulsed by me coming on to strong or more to the point been rejected.

At the end of the day chances are he wasnt too sure if you liked him that much and thats why he made the effort to be well mannered and keep his hands in place.

commuterised · 24-09-2003 10:59am

some of my male friends are of the opinion that if you sleep with the girl on the frist date shes not worth having a relationship with. Not my words, theirs.
Maybe he really wants this to go somewhere and he's waiting for you to intiate the bedroom scene to some extent.
It sounds exciting, enjoy it and let us know how it progresses.
And he does sound like a keeper!

am i just fooling myself?

Comments