Humid Weather

Billy Turdhed

I was on the weather board and was referred by the moderator to this one...Problem..

In hot humid weather the auld kex get a bit soggy and irritate the kluster...sorta wine glow job... I have tried peat moss rubbed in and sea salt and cooking oil.... Nothing works


She's red raw...HEEEELP!


WPT

Gordon

I was thinking about moving this to the English board to see if they could decipher it with their enigma code machines but I think I'll just lock it for... posterior posterity.

Gordon

... although if this is about sweat rash chaffing the legs then maybe it should be open...

Billy Turdhed

Yes Gordon it is! ... and its not funny


WPT

Zaph

What I want to know is where did you get the idea that rubbing peat moss into your nads would stop sweating? And surely sea salt could only exacerbate the chafing problem? Have you tried a liberal dose of talcum powder to keep things dry?

Billy Turdhed

Thank for the Sympathy... of course i have ...even caldesene and Sudocrem... only made the bitches even more angry...I heard peat moss would dry them up but noooo good...theres a chronic patch just under the bag that you well not you ..me have to scratch... even ice pack wont relieve the bitch...next big hope is 3 in one oil...was told that "might " work


WPT

Zaph

Well in that case the best advice I can give you is to take yourself off to the doctor and have him prescribe something a bit stronger for you. I certainly wouldn't be squirting 3-in-1 around that part of my anatomy.

Lump

GO to a fúcking doctor.



John

Gordon

Sorry, but if your pains are bad enough to call them bitches then maybe they are bad enough to call your doctor over.

Tbh.

Billy Turdhed

Just great

The kluster is flamin red and Im bustin my buns tryin to get relief and all I get is abuse


Gee Thanks... maybe I'll go to a Doctor... at least for 30 freakin euro i might get a bit of sympathy1

WhiteWashMan

is it your nads chaffing off your legs or what?
i mean to be honest, you could say wear some jocky shorts and that ought to cure it.
on the other hand, if this is the problem, wear some boxers.

i mean, what exactly is chaffing against each other?

Gordon

Billy, the sympathy on offer right now is advice, that is our sympathy that we have to offer.

Billy Turdhed

All I want is a bit of help... Maybe I might go commando for a few weeks.... I heard a seaweed solution could ... Isaid could help.

Its that or those new paper kex yu can get in Lidls...


Last hope


WPT

Gordon

Ok, I feel sorry for you now...

Zaph

You appeared to be looking for help, not sympathy. Going commando can only make things worse as your nuts will rub off the seam in the middle of your trousers. Take the advice offered here and go to the doctor - I'm sure he'll have dealt with similar problems before.

Actually something has just occurred to me. In Vietnam the US troops suffered from "crotch rot", which was a fungal infection similar to athlete's foot and caused by the humid jungle conditions. I'm not trying to panic you by saying that's what you've got, but if it's along those lines the doctor is your only real option.

Mutz

1 - Take a Shower - hot water and plenty of *******
2 - Use Some Talc Powder
3 - Buy Some Roomy Boxer Shorts in Dunnes Stores.
4 - Maybe stop shaving them?

Beëlzebooze

rub some tigerbalm or deepheat on your nads, it won't solve your problem, but it will take your mind of the chaffing....

Beruthiel

helpful advice Beëlzebooze! helpful!

do you want the mans screams to be heard from 10 miles off?

Beëlzebooze

Ruthie,

I think the red glow and smell of buring hair would attract more attention than the screaming.

on a more serious note:

have you (or whomever does the washing at your house) recently changed brands of washing powder, could be an allergic reaction. I would be seriously carefull with putting lotions/talk/oils down there, it is mighty sensitive.

Wash with plenty of warm water and soap, several times a day, and keep it dry. Also go see a doc.

GoneShootin

Originally posted by Gordon
I was thinking about moving this to the English board to see if they could decipher it with their enigma code machines but I think I'll just lock it for... posterior posterity.

At this stage it should be in the humour board

It also doubles as the best resource for testicle descriptions, on a par with urbandictionary.com !

On the subject, its clear that you unwilling to go to a doctor, so the rash is yours to wallow in until you do so.

Although there is this one prostitute down by Grand Parade that is known to be able to cure all genitalia related diseases.
Or was that cause genitalia related diseases. Oh well....

patch

Troll!! I reckon the guy is an avid reader of Viz......

Roller Toaster

Try an atheletes foot cream for a week or so then when it slightly cleared up move on to talc and atheletes foot powder then after another week move on to just talc and it should be ok.

Victor

If it is chaffing, try a shower before bed some talc and sleep in the buff (or with a very long T-shirt).

Aslo try some Savlon healing cream if you think it is infected.

Billy Turdhed

Thanks for all the advice...It would appear I have good news ...the G****n weather is a bit cooler.

Had a good shower and took the shower head to the knack area...now she protested a bit but i whacked on the talc and threw on a pair of roomy cotton kex as instructed and 'Pon me bleedin word the stones are a bit better.
Will change the kex every few days and hope improvement continues.
Also trimmed my nails so if she gets uppity I wont do too much damage...threw away the wire brush

It could be stress or diet related so I have cut out the auld Vindaloo and the raw onions... this info in case there are any fellow sufferers out there in OOOirek land

Sarky

Stunning.

Absolutely stunning.

Roller Toaster

Glad to hear it. Whatever you do don't scratch. Just keep having a bath/shower every night and using talc and it should clear up grand.

Victor

Originally posted by Billy Turdhed
Will change the kex every few days and hope improvement continues. Also trimmed my nails so if she gets uppity I wont do too much damage...threw away the wire brush It could be stress or diet related so I have cut out the auld Vindaloo and the raw onions... this info in case there are any fellow sufferers out there in OOOirek land

Ok adult need to change underwear **every** day (unless you score the night before and can't get to Dunnes before work) and just where is the rash **exactly**?

Billy Turdhed

Shes in the guttering on the left side under the left pill...The seam is clear as a bell and the right side is dry as a witches tit..the auld gravy seem to slop to the left for some reason.... Anaway ..shes on the up and I feel much sharper and really with the improved hygene and diet Im sure the auld pillbox will be a thing of beauty in no time at all


An optimistic WPT

Selik

One word...

Talcum powder

Billy Turdhed

I know this is not a medical board but I have outlined the problem.....The area under the porridge gun is improving ...horsing on the talc...washing the stones....wearing new kex every day till they run out...Im using those liquidy bags of stuff for washing ...thats a change..Maybe those mothers are annoying the tackle...Could have sommmwhat there?
WPD

LegacyUser

Try a non biological washing powder-Persil or Fairy

Lump

I wonder sometimes, could you not use correct english, instead of trying to be funny about a problem with you testicles. ts like trying to break some code reading your post's.


And that whole not changing you underware every day is just sick.



John

Gordon

Problem solved
user changing from WPT to WPD
starting to feel sick of the thought of porridge.

unickifying PI.