3 beauties :)

joseph brand

A man tried to phone the King of the Jungle.
All he got was a recorded message saying, "All the lions are busy right now. Please try later."

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank - proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.


****************
A scientist was successful in cloning himself.
He was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper.
The scientist arrived with his clone and proceeded to the podium. The clone sat at the end of the head table. The scientist began the speech intending a tribute to the advances in the field of modern biology.
"My fellow scientists," he began. But before he could utter another word, the clone sprang to his feet and shouted out, "He's an ASSHOLE!" The crowd began to murmur as the scientist commanded the clone to "Sit down and shut-up!" Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, "My fellow scientists..." Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, "This dumb ASS couldn't produce a copy on a Xerox. He's a fraudulent SON-OF-A-BITCH!"
Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window.
The crowd gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New York's finest arrived and were explained the events that had transpired.
The police chief said to the scientist, "We are going to have to arrest you." The scientist replied, "For what? I have committed no crime. What fell from the window was a clone, not a person." The attending scientists nodded in agreement. "Well," retorted the police chief, "we cannot let this heinous act go unchallenged."
The police chief thought for a moment and then ordered the scientist held, for "Making an obscene clone fall...."

Cake Fiend

I keel you!

tman

streuth, i'd hate to see your definition of a "beautiful" woman.

joseph brand

streuth, i'd hate to see your definition of a "beautiful" woman.

'I' am a beautiful woman, I'm 'Jo Brand'. You may remember me from such films as:

'You're not my real mom'!

and

'My wife's a monster'.

Vader

'I' am a beautiful woman, I'm 'Jo Brand'. You may remember me from such films as:'You're not my real mom'!

and

'My wife's a monster'.

see now thats funny. I see you get critizism alot