annoying friends

LegacyUser

i'm really finding it hard to deal with one of my supposed best friends at the moment. we've known each other for years but really haven't seen much of each other the past few years.

now i see her all the time and she's driving me nuts. she doesnt care about what happening in my life, just about whats going on with her. she never remembers important things happening for me like a job interview, finishing my degree and graduating, meeting a great new guy. she will quite happiuly spend and hour talking about what she bought in town this morning.

i've started not answering her phone calls so that i can get away with just saying i was busy and sending her a quick message. i can't mention any nights out with the people i'm working with (that she doenst know) because she will always turn up and spends the first half of the night bitching that she doesnt know anyone and that i dont devote every minute to making sure she ok, and the second half of the night getting blind drunk and flirting with some of the lads. then i have a week of her bitching that they never asked for her number or didnt make a move.

i know i'm going on and on but she's doing my head in and i dont know what to do

i could just keep going the way things are, i'm definately moving away from here in about 6 weeks so she wont be around all the time

i could have it out with her but i'm not a very confrontational person

i could just start ignoring her or avoiding her and she if she takes the hint

what do ye think?

Pigman II

I think you already know the answer and just want someone to tell you what you already feel. So here I am. Dump her like a tonne of bricks and don't look back.

There's always things about everyones friends that can be annoying but when a friend such as yours contributes in no single positive way to your life then there really no point keeping them around.

Don't bother trying to 'talk it out with her' either because from the sound of you you don't sound like the sort of person who could stand your ground in such a confrontation and as well as that SHE doesn't sound like the kind of person who would take the feelings or opinions of another into account anyway.

Amz

I'm going to have to agree with Pigman here, same type of thing happened to me and I ended up just getting rid of said annoying "friend" and have never looked back, after the initial guilt I felt that a huge weight had been lifted and now life is good and much more pleasant!

No one needs the annoyance of someone like that, even the irriataion you feel when you see their number flash up on your mobile! It's enough to give someone a coronary!

Anyway! G'Luck whatever you decide to do!

Lemming

What Amz and Pigman said ^^

I had a "friend" whom used to just wreck my head. I was his personal psychiatrist and IT helpdesk technician on the other end of the phone whenever he had a problem in work.

Then he started doing some very creepy things to some female friends of mine (text messages and the like), and then spread a rumour about me and a then girlfriend of mine and that gave me the resolve to blank him after having it out with him.

To vindicate my story, I ran into him a few months ago whilst in the company of a friend of mine in the Oak/Thomas Reeds. My mate turned to me afterwards and his first words were "He's a dick".

Doodee

hope that wasnt myelf or Syxpak lemmy

Sarky

If there are still some good points to having her as a friend, just tell her to shut the hell up for five minutes. If she doesn't calm down, then do the aforementioned tonne of bricks move. Friends should be able to take criticism. If she won't listen to reason and respect what you say, then that's proof that she's really worth no more of your time.

Zombrex

does your "friend" have any other friends apart from you?

It sounds like you are her only venue of expression so she tells you fecking everything ... that can get really annoying after a while.

I wouldn't say dumb her straight away, she might just be lonely or bad social skills. But definitly start putting some of the focus back on you... go out of your way to talk about yourself with her .. if she interupts you to talk about herself, interupt her back etc etc ...

If after awhile she doesn't get the message then like the lads ^^ said, dump her.

LegacyUser

she does have other friends at home but a lot of them were my friends first and they getting sick of her now. if we're meeting up they'd never call her cos they say she's more my friend.

she's just finished college and is always on about all the friends she has there but doesn't seem to have email addresses/ phone numbers for a lot of them which doesn't say much for the friendship.

have actually met a few of them over the summer, well been in the same place at the same time but she just never bothered to introduce me to any of them. decided just to enjoy herself with them and leave us in the cornor like idiots. of course at the end of the night when they ditched her and she needed a place to stay it was back to us again.

started not answering her phone calls sometimes, would just tell her i was working in the lab and we cant have phones in there now she started blocking her number when she rings.

its just hard to ditch someone that always seems to turn up!

Typedef

Originally posted by bitch
she doesnt care about what happening in my life, just about whats going on with her. she never remembers important things happening for me like a job interview, finishing my degree and graduating, meeting a great new guy. she will quite happiuly spend and hour talking about what she bought in town this morning.

<snip>

Self centered bitch by the sounds of it.
Deal with it, move on.

then i have a week of her bitching that they never asked for her number or didnt make a move.

And unattractive too by the sounds of it.

what do ye think?

You could (a) blank her (b) roar at her or (c) b then a... my preferred choice!

Edit:

Then he started doing some very creepy things to some female friends of mine (text messages and the like), and then spread a rumour about me and a then girlfriend of mine and that gave me the resolve to blank him after having it out with him.

See? I hadn't even read that......
spooky

ToxicPaddy

Had a mate like that in college..

Everything was about him and his problems.. he was an only child and a spoilt one at that, complete idiot when it came to the opposite sex, ya know the type, if they arent interested in him either they are fools or lesbians...

Everytime I turned around he was there, I was lucky enough that I lived at home when in college otherwise he probably would have tried to move into the bloody house...

Finally, i had enough when I met a girl really liked and we started going out, he started getting really pissed off and the fact that this girl I were seeing more and more of each other and I started hanging around less and less with him...

It all came to a head one night when he first tried to make a move on her in the nightclub and then when she refused, he lost the head with her and start screaming his head off at her, really lost the plot.. she ran outta the place crying, i told him where to stick his friendship, followed her out and never looked back..

I still see him around sometimes but make a point of never getting caught up in a conversation with him or having anything to do with him.. apparently, he hasnt changed and is still the same..

My advice:

If she starts acting like the twat above, move on girl, you sound like a perfectly normal fun loving person who shouldnt have any problems meeting others and making much better friends than her..


Tox

Havelock

If at any stage she was a good friend, it will be worth while to confront her. Even write her a letter, send her an e-mail, your obiviously a smart person, just be smart about it. Give her a chance, if she doesn't change its no skin off your nose. Say goodbye.

BuffyBot

Having had a long term friendship fall apart recently made me realise that sometimes it is better to let go.

People become different people over time, and maybe thats whats happened to you both. The small things begin to irritate first and then it grows.

Perhaps it's time to move on!

LegacyUser

had a chat with two friends about her last night, one who has known her as long as i have and one who just met her recently. the one who juts met her recently is a very easy going person and gets along with everyone but not this girl, she couldn't understand why we were friends with her.

the other one is losing patience with her too and she doesn't get all the phone calls and messages that i do. someone else has said something similar to me recently.

i dont think there's any point in having it out with her, she has changed in the past year or so, its just that we never saw much of each other. i know she has fallen out with one of her friends from college because this girl got sick of her whining and bitching all the time.

she's not going to change, she doesn't even seem interested in us as friends. she's using us for people to head out drinking with and then picks up some guy and disappears, or for lifts different places, and for people to bitch to.

didnt meet her all last weekend, i was heading out friday and saturday and she wanted to come but i basically told her she couldnt because i was going out with people from work that she didnt know and that she wouldn't enjoy herself. also been telling her that i'm busy everytime she decides shes bored and wants to come to college and bug me. its all true but in the past i wouldn't have dreamt of telling her to get lost.

maybe she'll get the hint maybe not, haven't heard from her in two days anyway

thanks for the advice

Dakeyras

Originally posted by bitch

she's not going to change, she doesn't even seem interested in us as friends. she's using us for people to head out drinking with and then picks up some guy and disappears, or for lifts different places, and for people to bitch to.

well you've said it all there really, if shes not going to change then theres absolutely no point in having it out with her if it won't change anything. And she certainly doesn't behave like shes your friend at all. So i'd def say "bye-bye and good riddance". Friendship is about being there for one another and it ain't a one way street