Mortal's Dream

Nevyn

Mortal's dream or so we are told.
Their night flights to their desires are mold.
Here they are what they wish, and do what they will;
Knights in armour with dragons to kill.
Worlds beyond counting, dangers concealed.
And dark sweet secrets strangely revealed.

Kappar

V. Good.

For such a short poem it says so much. It reads very well, it flows.

Great, keep it up.

Sarky

/me clicks fingers, beatnik stylee.

Nice. I can see this forum picking up traffic very nicely in the future...

BEAT

very good indeed Thaed...though I might change to word mold to cold in the first line, since you are looking for a word to ryhme there, it would give that little extra substance by adding cold to the darkness. I would like to see more, very good.

Nevyn

Thanks for the comments guys,

Ah Beat I do infact mean Mold as in to shape, as a potter does clay;
implying that dreams are malleable things, but they are shaped most by what hidden and oft unvoiced even to oursleves.

BEAT

Yes, Thaed I understood and like I said I liked it...I just saw another way of putting it...it does give it a different feeling when read the other way. Just a bit of constructive criticism is all
keep up the good work.

Puck

Very good.:)

DriftingRain

I wish I could write like that!!!!!!!!!:(

It's lovely Thaed.

Havelock

Excellent. Thanks for the link. Easy to see, I like it.
Vivid.
No good at poetry apprication.