Insult for all occasions

Stormfox1020

Your one load i wish your mom had swallowed, heh made me laugh for awhile, maybe old but its all good

Capt'n Midnight

May the lice of a thousand camel fester in your loins...

Sauron

Cap'tn Midnight proclaims:
May the lice of a thousand camel fester in your loins...

...amen

joseph brand

may the hairs on your arse turn into drum sticks and bate the b*****ks out of ye!!!

Havelock

you are a little puffy rat-midget cotton-tushed infested freak of nature s**t headed...monstrosity of the seventh layer of heck - piss breathed... dookie eating -pig lovin -crab like -bow legged -creepy ass -bulbous headed -smaller than a bread box -hollow brained -gopher lick'n -intestine shaped -bacon wrapped -no soap using -squid slurping -botchilism growing -crotch scratching -one balled -accidentally birthed -filth spreading -juice producing -greasy palmed -fart leaking -ball of crap shaped like a little man

I admit its a bit long but come on, he you manage to say all that and they haven't punched you in the gob, you've won.

Capt'n Midnight

Go forth and multiply..


Here is another good one.
Dastard

joseph brand

You donkey raping, s**t eating, pidgeon squeezin, horse fondling, hamster badgering, traveller kissin, toad tongueing, runner insole sucking, Aonghus McAnally lookalike, swine faced cretin!!

Always does it for me when I shoutin at Derek Mooney on RTE!!!

joseph brand

May your first born be haunted by the freckles of a thousand Knackers!!

And the smell of one.

So there!

anarchy

Originally posted by joseph brand
You donkey raping, s**t eating, pidgeon squeezin, horse fondling, hamster badgering, traveller kissin, toad tongueing, runner insole sucking, Aonghus McAnally lookalike, swine faced cretin!!

Always does it for me when I shoutin at Derek Mooney on RTE!!!

There is no insult too harsh for Derek Moony - why oh why did nobody drown him during that horrendous pile of sh1te Cabin Fever?

Space Coyote

"Beauty is only skin-deep, ugly goes right to the fúckin bone."

Billy Connolly.

Shiminay

One of my mates was told an Afghan insult which translates to: A fart on the beard of the man who created you.

I have a particularly nasty insult that I reserve for very special occasions: "May you die roaring of the syphilis that you got from your uncle when he came to molest you as a child!"
It's horrifically nasty, it's very funny, it silences any room and ends all arguements (you have to mean it when you say it). Works best when in the presence of the insultee's uncle

Yes, I know I'm going straight to hell, I'm just trying to take you all with me!

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Kharn
Yes, I know I'm going straight to hell, I'm just trying to take you all with me!

in fairness
I don't require any help on that one!

Panda

I've a couple,(one a variation of a previous one)

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!

I coulda been your father only the dog bet me up the stairs!

Fuc k em! f uck em in the ear!!!

The best part of you ran down your mothers leg!

Ah eat gowel soup out of your c unt!(forget exactly what gowel soup is but you can hazard a guess)

F uck off or i'll give your wife/girlfriend something to hand her towels on!
or
F uck off or i'll donkey punch your mother!

ykt0di9url7bc3

"I heard you were adopted"

Space Coyote

Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on holiday.

EdBanger

For all your Insulting needs, I perticularly like the Curses (As in Hexes)

"I hope, pray and dream that you shall have more mother-in-laws than Elizabeth Taylor, you mass of neuroses and pathologies."

its in the genrators

http://www.insultmonger.com/

Duffman

May your firstborn be quite hairy...

EdBanger

Hey Hey HEY!.....


I resembel that remark!!!!

Eden

Personally I like that quote from movie Plunkett and Macleane.

If wisdom grew on trees, you dear sir, would be a bush

But I generally go with whatever comes to mind to suit the particular insultee, followed by "F*ck you and the horse you rode in on"

milltown

May your best cow die and all the legs fall off your table and chairs.

And an Aussie one:
I hope your ears turn into arseholes and sh1t on your shoulders.

Sleipnir

Originally posted by Eden
Personally I like that quote from movie Plunkett and Macleane.

If wisdom grew on trees, you dear sir, would be a bush

But I generally go with whatever comes to mind to suit the particular insultee, followed by "F*ck you and the horse you rode in on"

Ah there was another one in this movie
"I believe I am a good judge of character Sir, and I find you distinctly lacking"

My own would have to

why don't you bite the back o' my b*llix

spooiirt!!

any combination of swear words together can be funny, from the likes of "you rat **** sonofabitch" to "buck tooth ****face".
skys the limit, really

Capt'n Midnight

RE:any combination of swear words together can be funny,

NO - any muppet can do that, only works if you can do it for ten minutes without repeating yourself..

The best insults are witty and humerous - cos that way others will remember it..

You've got the brain of a four year old boy; and I bet he was glad to get rid of it -Groucho Marx

He'd make a lovely corpse Charles Dickens (you'd make)

If the phone dosn't ring; you'll know its me

You smell like a second class railway carriage Sir Iain Moncrieff

I never forget a face but in your case I'm willing to make an exception Groucho Marx

Sir you are like a pin, but without either its head or its point. Douglas William Jerrold

She's a nice girl. Doesn't drink or smoke and only swears when it slips out. Donald McGill

Mercury_Tilt

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