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man and wife

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  • 29-08-2003 10:10am
    #1
    pyramid man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 398 ✭✭


    A woman looks into a mirror one night and says, "honey I look all fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment"

    the husband turns around and says, "your eyesights ****in spot on".

    sorry if it is a re-post.


    also
    what do you call a dog with no hind legs and brass testicles?

    Sparky.


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    #2
    de5p0i1er
    Registered Users Posts: 2,274 ✭✭✭de5p0i1er


    LOL. One way to stop her pestering you. :D:D:D


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    #3
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,966 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Brass does not spark. (they use it for tools in refineries)

    mirror mirror on the wall....


    what do you call a 9 day old russian cat with a green spot on the tail ?

    - a kitten.


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    #4
    Pugsley
    Registered Users Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
    what do you call a 9 day old russian cat with a green spot on the tail ?

    - a kitten.
    Thats so chronically bad its funny!
    First joke funny too :)


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    #5
    Vader
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,481 ✭✭✭Vader


    Missing: 3 legged scottish terrior
    ran away after being hit by a car while on the way to the vet
    blind in one eye
    answers to the name "Lucky"


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    #6
    shanks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6 ✭shanks


    You are a Siamese twin - joined at the shoulder to your brother.

    He is gay - you are straight.

    He tells you that he has a date tonight, his date is coming over at ten.

    You panic, as you suddenly realise that you share a single arsehole !!!


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    #7
    Dredz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 194 ✭✭Dredz


    Last one deserves a firing squad.


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    #8
    Space Coyote
    Registered Users Posts: 2,164 ✭✭✭Space Coyote


    Apologies if this is old...

    A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window.
    Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the pickup on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off.
    Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?"
    Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies,
    "It was only a bug, honey."
    The daughter sits with a confused look on her face and after a few minutes she says,
    "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"


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    #9
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,966 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    A young driver crashed his car in to a telegraph pole between two houses and the car caught fire. Since Mr & Mrs Ball were away on holidays he was luckey to be pulled out by the Smyths.


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    #10
    Vader
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,481 ✭✭✭Vader


    A young driver crashed his car in to a telegraph pole between two houses and the car caught fire. Since Mr & Mrs Ball were away on holidays he was luckey to be pulled out by the Smyths.
    very good but I had to read it twice


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    #11
    Space Coyote
    Registered Users Posts: 2,164 ✭✭✭Space Coyote


    hehehe....eh i don't get it


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    #12
    honeymonster
    Registered Users Posts: 601 ✭✭✭honeymonster


    I likes it :D


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    #13
    BEAT
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,945 ✭✭✭BEAT


    A young driver crashed his car in to a telegraph pole between two houses and the car caught fire. Since Mr & Mrs Ball were away on holidays he was luckey to be pulled out by the Smyths.


    please explain this to me before my head bursts! unless Smythes is suppose to mean like, locksmyths? arrgghh confused.


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    #14
    Cozpyro
    Closed Accounts Posts: 327 ✭✭Cozpyro


    Well If the Smyths were on holiday and their neighbours weren't, then who would pull him out?

    Geddit now?


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    #15
    irishman_abroad
    Registered Users Posts: 553 ✭✭✭irishman_abroad


    no...


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    #16
    milltown
    Registered Users Posts: 4,613 ✭✭✭milltown


    HE WOULD HAVE BEEN PULLED OUT BY THE BALLS


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