how/if/why/when? etc

Dooom

got these in an email so they're farely crap but a few are alright also seen a few in another thread like this. a few are new though...not sure if this should be here or the humour board...meh


why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
If when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?"
Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?
What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
how can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?
How can you hear yourself think?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?
How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?
If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
if you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If the speed of movement is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving light?
why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom?
Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
why do the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?
If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to?
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
why are turds pinched off at the end?
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?
What would you use to dilute water?
What should one call a male ladybird?
How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you?
Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
How can there be "self help GROUPS"?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?

simu

How 'bout trying to answer these questions, nay deep mysteries of the universe, seriously?:)

Here goes:

How do you know when yogurt goes bad?

You see mould growing on it, surely?

Sarky

Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?

Yes.:)

DMT

Originally posted by Spike
If when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?"

I stopped reading after this twat of a question...

Pigman II

Originally posted by DMT
I stopped reading after this twat of a question...

Same here! Evidentally (and contrary to popular belief) there is such a thing as a stupid question.

TomTom

Some are good some are down right stupid.

davidswinstead

Originally posted by Spike
How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?

There's also flammable and inflammable - they both mean the same. It's all about the root of the un/in prefix. In those two cases it doesn't come from the Latin negative -in, related to the English -un, it comes from a slightly different background.

SirLemonhead

'What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane? '

hehe wasn't this in Hot Shots part deux? Geronimo jumps out of the plane and shouts 'ME!'

I found it funny

simu

hehe wasn't this in Hot Shots part deux? Geronimo jumps out of the plane and shouts 'ME!'

#

excellent:p

Lukin Black

Originally posted by davidswinstead
There's also flammable and inflammable

Like Dr. Nick in the Simpsons with the surgery on fire:

"Inflammable means flammable?! Boy, what a country."