Have you ever just stopped and asked yourself....

avatar

>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
>squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
>Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna
>eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
>
>Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast
>to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
>Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
>Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane? If the
>professor on Gilligan's Island can make
>a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
>point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
>Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
>undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
>
>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
>both dogs!
>
>What do you call male ballerinas?
>Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
>If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough money to buy all that
>ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
>
>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
>vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>
>If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is
>Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Why do the
>Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
>
>Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .
>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,but
>call it a hemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?
>
>Did you ever noti ce that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
>you,
>but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
>window?

Creamy Goodness

very funny

Tellox

that was bloody class

Mac daddy

Originally posted by avatar
>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
>squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
>Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna
>eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
>
>>If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough money to buy all that
>ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
?

LOL funny but true

Tyrrial

all very interesting facts!

Havelock

Hum, I ponder. I wonder why?

Who was the first person to look at snail and contemplated eating one?

Same with cod's liver, bull testicals and monkey brains.

Who was the first, risk taking man to but his willy in a woman's mouth? And why? Manual castration?

Who thought of inhaleing burning plant ash as a past time?

Felching, if you don't know what it is, you don't want to, but who and why?

EdBanger

Originally posted by avatar
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Hehehehehehehe....

Victor

Originally posted by avatar
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

To toast bread from frozen.

Drex

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Same with Baa baa black sheep.

irishgeo

stop guys please, there is so many of these questions in life.

i ponder enough in life without having more to think about it.

I wonder who thought hmm "I wonder what would happen if i mixed water and sand". (It's glass).

Vader

How cumz they call it a winter wonder land when its just snow and ice all around and your freezing your balls off?

How cumz two wrongs dont make a right no matter how hard I try?

How cumz women dont realise that baldness is sexy?

How cumz people say say that TV is a dull and stupefing waste of time with no real benifit to humanity when there is so much fine entertainment on 24 hours a day?

ColinM

Originally posted by Havelock
Fletching, if you don't know what it is, you don't want to, but who and why?

Does this mean doing something in the style of Chevy Chase in the thoroughly enjoyable eighties films Fletch and Fletch Lives?
Maybe it's more to do with solving mysteries in a busy-body manner like Jessica Fletcher in Murder She Wrote

By the way, did you ever hear of elephant felching? Personally, I think this kind of "xtreme-felching" (I refuse to provide a link to this kind of depravity) is taking it just one step too far. I don't know why you don't hear the various societies for the protection of cruelty to (or ethical treatment of) animals being more vocal in speaking out against this practice.

About the whimsical musings or observations - well, it is possible to explain them all quite rationally and sensibly really - but that's not the point is it? They're just meant to be humourous.

Here's one of my own that really bugs the hell out of me:
Why do washing machines still have large dials that I must twist around and around to select a washing program? Why the hell do these dials still have to make a sound like I'm shaking some maracas? Why when I go past the program number I want by a fricking millimeter do I have to rotate the dial all the way around again to get back to where I want to be? It's such a totally crap interface!
I want to be able to pre-program a list of personally designed washing cycles and be able to save them under a name, and be able to choose them again from a touch-screen LCD panel. I want the machine to come with the usual pre-programmed cycles like "whites" and "non-fast coloureds". I want to be able to select one of these from a menu in the LCD panel. It should then display the properties of the wash - temp/spin speed/wash time/water used and I hit "ok" to proceed if I want, or I can adjust these properties and then proceed with the wash. I would like to see a countdown displaying time remaining until completion of the wash.
I would also like there to be a manual-override code that I can enter that will allow me to open the door of MY fricking washing mashine when I bloody want!
Now riddle me this, batmen - why don't washing machines come like that? Remember we are living in the 21st century. We all imagined that we would be taking day-trips to the moon by now. We're not, but that's no reason to be using the same interface that was used back in the 1950s. I think that the reason washing machine manufactuers won't change the design is because even in our wonderful "post-modern", emancipated society, women still do most of the laundry. If they made using a washing machine as "complicated" as using a VCR, no laundry would ever get done, right?

Kappar

LOL

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by ColinM
Does this mean doing something in the style of Chevy Chase in the thoroughly enjoyable eighties films Fletch and Fletch Lives?
Maybe it's more to do with solving mysteries in a busy-body manner like Jessica Fletcher in Murder She Wrote

By the way, did you ever hear of elephant felching? Personally, I think this kind of "xtreme-felching" (I refuse to provide a link to this kind of depravity) is taking it just one step too far. I don't know why you don't hear the various societies for the protection of cruelty to (or ethical treatment of) animals being more vocal in speaking out against this practice.

About the whimsical musings or observations - well, it is possible to explain them all quite rationally and sensibly really - but that's not the point is it? They're just meant to be humourous.

Here's one of my own that really bugs the hell out of me:
Why do washing machines still have large dials that I must twist around and around to select a washing program? Why the hell do these dials still have to make a sound like I'm shaking some maracas? Why when I go past the program number I want by a fricking millimeter do I have to rotate the dial all the way around again to get back to where I want to be? It's such a totally crap interface!
I want to be able to pre-program a list of personally designed washing cycles and be able to save them under a name, and be able to choose them again from a touch-screen LCD panel. I want the machine to come with the usual pre-programmed cycles like "whites" and "non-fast coloureds". I want to be able to select one of these from a menu in the LCD panel. It should then display the properties of the wash - temp/spin speed/wash time/water used and I hit "ok" to proceed if I want, or I can adjust these properties and then proceed with the wash. I would like to see a countdown displaying time remaining until completion of the wash.
I would also like there to be a manual-override code that I can enter that will allow me to open the door of MY fricking washing mashine when I bloody want!
Now riddle me this, batmen - why don't washing machines come like that? Remember we are living in the 21st century. We all imagined that we would be taking day-trips to the moon by now. We're not, but that's no reason to be using the same interface that was used back in the 1950s. I think that the reason washing machine manufactuers won't change the design is because even in our wonderful "post-modern", emancipated society, women still do most of the laundry. If they made using a washing machine as "complicated" as using a VCR, no laundry would ever get done, right?

My girlfriends Ma has a washing machine like you describe. No LCD panel. Still a dial, but it turns clockwise and anti-clockwise, doesn't clack around like maracas and has a digital readout of time remaining.

Thought you might like to know

ColinM

No, I wouldn't. Now you've diminished the basis for my rant.
Thanks alot.

weemcd

why is 13 and unlicky number?, why is the sky blue? Why did they keep makin police academy movies?, the funny voice man carried the franchise

bozzie

my brain hurt bad too much contemplating

Capt'n Midnight

Like Baked beans in tomato ketchup.
and men having nipples

But

Howdoes the snowplough driver gets to work in the morning ?

Why there are locks on the doors of 24 hour shops ?

Do fish fart ?


(13 at the last supper)

Pugsley

Felching, if you don't know what it is, you don't want to, but who and why?

I know what felching is, and its a very, very vile thing to do.... if anyone recognise's this im sure you'll laugh --> ARMAGEDDON!

kanurocks

lol lol lol lol
absolutely brilliant.did you come up with the whole thing

kanurocks

please ignor this im but a fool who clicked thread instead of post reply,infact please feel free to use this thread to harass me.that should compensate for the lack of joke .or am i the joke either way crud!

kanurocks

oh no hold on i did click the right button oh well.the mistakes you make after a 18 hour day.lol

sci0x

Excellent!

anarchy

Originally posted by Havelock
Hum, I ponder. I wonder why?

Who was the first person to look at snail and contemplated eating one?

Same with cod's liver, bull testicals and monkey brains.

Who was the first, risk taking man to but his willy in a woman's mouth? And why? Manual castration?

Who thought of inhaleing burning plant ash as a past time?

Felching, if you don't know what it is, you don't want to, but who and why?

You don't inhale the ash, you inhale the smoke. And I would have thought the evolution of the blow job was a natural progression from basic copulation. No risk involved unless you're being blown by a woolly mammoth.

Vader

No risk involved unless you're being blown by a woolly mammoth.

Who hasnt?