I want to be a girl

LegacyUser

(I'm a regular poster - I just don't want to post this under my real name)

This might seem a little bit complicated or confused, but I need to write it just to get a hell of a lot of rubbish out of my head.

Basically, I want to be a girl. I’ve felt like this for a while now.

Looking at girls doesn’t do anything more for me than make me feel a strange emptiness, like jealousy that they are exactly what I want to be. I feel like I should have been born as a girl, and I’m merely pretending to be a boy, wearing the clothes and conforming to society’s expectations. I’m unhappy with who I am, and I just need to act as a girl. I’ve got another name, a girls’ name, which I like to call myself by.

Living here, it’s not as easy to deal with as it might be in other places, because anything slightly not normal is almost immediately pounced upon by certain sections of people, and it becomes something bad, or wrong, rather than just a part of you.

There’s something up with me, and I don’t really know what it is – I dream of just becoming a girl, and there’s no way this can happen. It’s been making me sad for a long time.

I don’t know if this is clear to anyone but me, I’m having trouble comprehending it in my own mind, so it probably appears as rubbish to other people, but it makes me feel better to write it.

Sarky

John Cleese: Where's the foetus going to gestate? In a box?

Sorry, had to be said.

Now, raise two fingers in the general direction of society, and go do your thing, whatever it may be. You'll probably be ridiculed a bit. Big deal. Be who or what you want to be. Try stuff. At the very least, you'll get it out of your system, or maybe something else entirely will happen. Doesn't matter, as long as it's what you want (and nobody gets hurt much along the way)

doctor evil

The important thing is that it makes youfeel better or what ever, try experimenting with girls clothes or makeup or scent and just find what you are comfortable with. Just give it a try you dont have to go out in public and dontdo anything you are not comfortable with and have fun (just let your hair down)

elexes

cant u get opperations for this type of thing ? or they only partial ? im not to sure .

as said above do whatever you want

Winters

Originally posted by 1593
I want to be a girl.

Have you ever done anything more then want? Like drag or anything?

Most men who *want* to become women usually end up in drag before doing the snip.

And have you ever though of the snip or did you not know about it. Its been made fun of in enough films to know aboot it. And enought episodes of Jerry Springer.

elexes, usually the ops are really big. From what i have seen on tv not only does the snip happen but many go for like hugh reconstructive surgery and stuff to make them look more "femine". Useful Channel 4 documentaries

BuffyBot

The links on the page below might help

http://www.gaire.com/Gay_Lesbian_And_Bisexual/Support_Groups/Transgender/

koneko

Originally posted by Big Chief
its posts like this that make you realise how fùcked up society is nowadays...

I can only assume you're referring to your own reply....

It still surprises me how people respond to these type of posts. The original poster has one life. His own. He has to make the best of it and do what he wants, what will make him happy.
What business it is of yours whether he wants to be a guy or a girl?

This is a serious topic and one you ought to give a lot of thought to before you do anything (which you no doubt already have done). I'd advise speaking to someone (a doctor) that has more information on the subject and can advise you of the different options and (hormone) treatments.

Don't let any assholes out there discourage you from doing what will make you happy. It's your life, you can do with it what you want. Good luck for the future and I hope whatever you decide to do goes well for you.

ixoy

Do whatever you need to do to make yourself better. You're only doing this to yourself. Do not try and conform to society's expectations if it makes you unhappy!

I mean I'm expected to date girls because I'm a boy. But y'know it just doesn't seem right to me so I'm not going to do it. I feel better about myself for having made that decision. So you explore what you're feeling and deal with it. I do highly recommend you try something though and don't let a bunch of imbeciles, who know nothing of what it feels like to feel different, put you off!

Sleipnir

I saw a program on this 2 or 3 weeks ago. It was fascinating.
They told the story of one guy who, was brought to hospital when he was a baby for circumcision. It wen't badly wrong and his auld fella was burnt off. Apparently there was a problem with electricity(?) The mother didn't even know electricity was involved (nor did I)
Anyway, with his john thomas burnt off, the parents decided it would be easier to bring him up as a girl. They did so until he was in his twenties. Man did they screw him up.
Of course, in his mind he 'was' male and went back to living that gender soon after.
Point is, it is your brain which is defined as either male or female, not how you act, which bits you have, which bits you don't, what you wear, how you speak etc.
There is a region of the brain (they showed photos of the part but I can't remember which it was) that is larger for males, and smaller for females. When in the womb, more testosterone in the bloodstream acts upon the region and it enlarges. For a female there is less testosterone and the area does not grow as large.
For transsexuals (and often male homosexuals) the area is smaller than it should be, it resembles the female size more than the male.
Therefore it is probable that transexuals simply got the wrong amount of testosterone while in the womb, something we should hardly hate them for.

I wish I could remember the name of the damn programme.

skittishkitten

You say that looking at women do nothing for you but stir your jealousy. Are you also gay ? This is a serious subject that you need to address. If you dress as a female and look to become involved in a relationship then you should tell the other straight off that you have male parts . A persons lifestyle is their own choice , I understand that you are in a delicate position as society does not readily accept such individuals as yourself . But if you are happy with your chosen lifestyle then don't let anyone talk you out of it ..... also you need to be straight forward with any individuals that you are "romantically" incline towards. It's unkind and just a bit dangerous to be less than honest with men about this fact. (i.E. people have been killed for such things ) .

Barring that .... YOU GO "GIRL" !!!

koneko

Oh by the way, I recommend you watch Boys Don't Cry.

Excellent film, very moving, and very disturbing. You might learn a thing or two.

koneko

and changing gender makes it more healthy why exactly? this is something that cant be sorted out without getting yer gonads chopped off why?

Because (I'd imagine*) it's like living every day in a shell you're uncomfortable with. Living every day feeling like you're not who you want to be. Living a lie basically, is how they might feel. Imagine having to pretend you're someone you're not, day in day out.

As some other posters have pointed out there is scientific research into this, and the areas of the brain that define how a person feels, as far as gender/personality/etc go.

*I say imagine because I'm a girl, always have been a girl and don't want to be a guy so I can't speak from personal experience, only from what I've read/seen/heard.

Stark

Originally posted by Kananga
I saw a program on this 2 or 3 weeks ago. It was fascinating.
They told the story of one guy who, was brought to hospital when he was a baby for circumcision. It wen't badly wrong and his auld fella was burnt off. Apparently there was a problem with electricity(?) The mother didn't even know electricity was involved (nor did I)
Anyway, with his john thomas burnt off, the parents decided it would be easier to bring him up as a girl. They did so until he was in his twenties. Man did they screw him up.
Of course, in his mind he 'was' male and went back to living that gender soon after.
Point is, it is your brain which is defined as either male or female, not how you act, which bits you have, which bits you don't, what you wear, how you speak etc.
There is a region of the brain (they showed photos of the part but I can't remember which it was) that is larger for males, and smaller for females. When in the womb, more testosterone in the bloodstream acts upon the region and it enlarges. For a female there is less testosterone and the area does not grow as large.
For transsexuals (and often male homosexuals) the area is smaller than it should be, it resembles the female size more than the male.
Therefore it is probable that transexuals simply got the wrong amount of testosterone while in the womb, something we should hardly hate them for.

I wish I could remember the name of the damn programme.

Horizon, that was a great episode of the show. I had heard people talk about transsexuals going through great pain, but that show really made me understand why. Should be taped and made compulsory viewing for all those small minded people out there.
That region of the brain is part of the hypothalamus by the way. I can't remember the technical term for the location within the hypothalamus, it wasn't a name I had heard before.

Big Chief

That is not necessarily true. Babies can be born with both sets of sexual organs. (I forget the medical term for this) It is usual up to the parents to decide how they want to bring up the child in these cases. The doctor, afair, would then alter the outward sexual organs to reflect the parents decision and the child would have to undergo a course of hormone treatments.

I was not aware of this, and its actually good to know, and thanks for pointing out the flaws in my argument rather than fall down to the levels of calling me a 'skirt wearer' because of where im from.

Is this a thing that happens often or is it only in rare cases or what? (I am genuinely intrested as was not aware of this..)

Stark

It's common enough (in medical terms). The babies are referred to as hermaphrodites or "intersex". It's usually safe to assign them a gender as their brains have ambiguous sexual identity.

b3t4

A website I found regarding this.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/invoke.cfm?objectid=5DEC63B0-846C-4634-99178B5E2F3EF19F

A.

yellum

In regards the Orig Posters situation. I'd suggest talking to someone. There are people out there in Ireland who can help. I believe theres organisations in Cork and Dublin at least who can help you.

Unfortunately while the rights of gay and lesbian and bisexuals are being respected more , transgendered people are still a bit of a taboo in this country.

Have your researched this and how to go about resolving this feelings ?

One thing to note is that while you may feel it, you are not alone. Theres people out there who are going through the exact same feelings as yourself.

If you want I can go about finding some more info for you and can post it here or if you want to pm me go right ahead.

- Damien

On the general muppetry in this thread and many recent threads in PI:

Do threads actually get Moderated in this forum anymore ? The orig poster requested advice or help. Thats what the personal issues forum was about I thought. You ask for help or ask for suggestions and you get constructive feedback.

This should not be the place for people to launch insults at people for discussing their problem/issue/situation. There will always be ignorant fuc[i/]kwits about as we have seen from this thread alone but I would have thought to keep this thread on topic and make it useful all off-topic banter and insulting would have been removed. This thread *could* have been used as a reference for other transgendered people but not its full of negativity and noise.

Its not tolerated in other forums and it should not be allowed here. This is personal issues, not "lets take a crack at making someone with a personal issue feel bad and insecure"

Sangre

Originally posted by yellum

On the general muppetry in this thread and many recent threads in PI:

Do threads actually get Moderated in this forum anymore ? The orig poster requested advice or help. Thats what the personal issues forum was about I thought. You ask for help or ask for suggestions and you get constructive feedback.

Oh come on Yellum, you're just annoyed at his opinions and you're venting. Big Chief said what he wanted to say and he did it without resorting to insults or flames as the other more 'liberal' people did.
Basically this is a forum open for discussion not the 'lets pat people on the back and delude them about the real world' forum. This forum is open to the public, and all views that are without insults and trolls should be treated equally.

Also, I have to say fair play to Chief for saying what he believed knowing that he would be flamed.

And to the original poster, think long and hard about any decision to you make and consult any organisations that may help you. I would like to hear back from you and see how you are doing.

Trojan

Poster has a 2 choices re: physical stuff - he can deal with being male, or persist through months or years of ops.

Either way, counselling is necessary, so should be the first step.

Be warned. I've seen a family destroyed by this.

Gordon

yellum, we moderate here.

Back on topic - I would also suggest councelling first.

Big Chief

Oh come on Yellum, you're just annoyed at his opinions and you're venting. Big Chief said what he wanted to say and he did it without resorting to insults or flames as the other more 'liberal' people did.

thank you sangre, i completely agree.

Yellum you are trying to blame the mods because i gave an opinion which is mine. I didnt call the poster names, nor did i revert to giving him abuse, i simply put down on what i thought about the matter.

This is a public forum, and he asked for opinions, so i gave him mine. Unfortunately I did not agree with patting him on the back for his actions, i however gave the opinion that i believe is true to me and just because i disagree with what alot of folk are saying does not make me wrong (or right for that matter...).

Your not above the rules, I gave my views, like them or dont like them they are my views, if the PI forum consisted of people just patting people on the backs while mods deleted all the posts that didnt 'agree/concur' with the original poster then there would be no need for this board at all.

Big Chief

Originally posted by Gordon
Back on topic - I would also suggest councelling first.

i would agree whole heartedly with the councelling idea before you rush into anything that you may regret later in life.

someone called us skirt wearers gordon, ban them!*






























*yes im joking before you flame me more....

smiles

I'm in the process of splitting the thread actually yellum, I tend not to just delete where it's inappropiate, while Big Chief isn't be supportive he is just offering his opinion.

<< Fio >>

yellum

big chief attributing society being fuc.ked up because of the poster was not the most helpful thing or opinion.

And as I explained to sangre on irc I was not attacking big chief. I found issue with the way the whole thread was going and was taking from the initial post.

I think myself and sangre both agreed that there should be some sort of protocol in pi to distinguish between "can someone give me advice" type threads where someone might want advice and not personal opinions and threads of the form "what do you think about my issue" where anyone can reply with their personal opinion

BigChief, whats my sexuality got to do with this ?

red_ice

If you feel like you want a sex change its your own choise, fu ck what anyone else says.

I myself think its wrong and i feel sick when i see a man mascarading about in a miniskirt or even if i see a man with a sexchange wearing normal cloths acting like a woman. I think its horrible.

Now, i think its fair if you want to do it. I wouldnt disown a friend if he did it, but i think its totally wrong and the operation should never be allowed to take place.


Its your call, but you have to understand you were made the way you are for a reason.

Karl Hungus

Originally posted by 1593
(I'm a regular poster - I just don't want to post this under my real name)

Maybe I'm being a jerk here, but I'm really intruiged as to who this 'Regular Poster' is?
Would you perhaps care to PM me and tell me who you are?

Anyway...

Originally posted by 1593
There’s something up with me, and I don’t really know what it is – I dream of just becoming a girl, and there’s no way this can happen. It’s been making me sad for a long time.

I don’t know if this is clear to anyone but me, I’m having trouble comprehending it in my own mind, so it probably appears as rubbish to other people, but it makes me feel better to write it.

I feel really sorry for you though, and I cannot even claim to know what you're going through at the moment. Frankly, I couldn't imagine it, but if it's half as bad as you say, then seriously go and see a doctor, or someone.

I dont think that anyone who would matter would care about your 'Condition' or whatever it is. Your family and friends should be supportive of you whatever you choose to do, and anyone who thinks less of you isn't worth your time.

I don't know if this will help you feel better about yourself or anything, but I do actually know someone who isn't "Really" a girl. She's a wonderfull person, and most of her friends know about the way she is, and none of them think anything of it. Although, I never knew her before she was a 'she' I honestly couldn't care less. Thing is, if you do go through with some kind of surgery, people really aren't going to be able to tell the difference, if you know what I mean.

Unfortunatly the only thing I could possibly relate to here is that the likes of plastic surgery can be really expensive.

Honestly though, I hope that helps in some way.

The only way I can relate on a personal level is the fact that I dont really like my nose. So maybe this doesn't really help at all, but... I dunno, I hope it does help.

Mutz

Nothing wrong with it. I actually worked with someone who was a transexual (from he to she). Quite convincing actually. I don't think it is "sick" either. Haven't been in touch with HER recently, because we lost touch but last i knew she was happy. People still have to remember that it is a person afterall and feelings are involved.

There's so much surgery to be done though. Little things like electrolisis sessions for your beard to stop it growing. The snip and tuck (performed in belgium). Hormone treatment. More than likely you will probably need councelling too during the transition because of the comments from morons, but you have to remember - soceity is becoming alot more open minded. Fudge everyone else.

Good Luck and Hope you can come to a decision you are comfortable with.

Big Chief

Originally posted by yellum

BigChief, whats my sexuality got to do with this ?

does not give you a 'better view' of this which by your post you seem to imply

my bad, was someone else that posted about it and i got wrong end of the stick, edited... was to do with the 'people used to look at gays the same way back in the day' thing, and it seemed as if you were using that, but i cant seem to find it anywhere so ive edited my post.. apologies

elexes

just wondering if the poster has read any stuff hear yet and what hes thinking of doing ???

red_ice

Originally posted by Mutz
More than likely you will probably need councelling too during the transition because of the comments from morons

ahh so you think that its wrong for people to speak their mind? Close the board!

I have my view and it doenst make me a 'moron'. I think its sick and wrong but i also think that its his own free will to mess with his body. Im a strong christian and i believe my body is my temple and i will stick to that. Just because you can accept it and you have a friend who chopped off his head he will always be a he.

You dont have the right to call anyone a moron because of their point of view. Maybe ill start a post on my feelings, i feel that people like me who think that no matter what god made them the way they are for a reason and because they have a certain view get critisized by people like you. Wheres my sympathy at?

If you read my post, i said that he should do what he feels best, forget what people say - but no matter what you do in life you will always have a hurdle to jump because of that action. It just so happens his one will be a little bigger.

So, say something constructive for everyone, not just the bloke whos posting ok?

Sure i think its wrong, and i will dosagree and look apon that person who gets an operation as a lil different, but yet again being a strong christian means i have to accept it. Which im not comfortable with, but i will always feel awkward around a person with an operation.

(excuse me if im repeating myself or starting to lose track, im very tired atm)

solice

i think we are all forgetting the point, someone asked for advice and help.

i would consider talking to a councellor, not because you are wrong and they will change your mind on it but you said that you are messed up in the head. you need to talk, and get it open. the worst thing anyone can do is bottle something like their sexuality, and transgender desires up. its important to talk to someone, only then can you decide where you want to go with this.

all my love man, its a tough road you are going down and you will need alot of support. there are ppl here that will be there for you. good luck

Catsmokinpot

if you really want to do it then do it it's your choice. no one here can persuade you either way, their giving you their opinions but your the one whos making the decision. this decision shouldn't be based on other ppls opinions.

on that note this is my opinion, think long and hard about chopping off your lad (if it gets that far) you might miss it, i'd miss mine!

Dr Bolouswki

dress up man! experiment on your own, get comfortable, maybe find others who dig the same thing, take it from there...

don't know how you feel about therapy, but it helps alot of people, but you could save yourself plenty of bucks by checking some stuff out on your own...

A word to the wiseguy... be careful - there's a lot of jerks out there that get all weird cos you feel this way, exercise some caution with who you show your interests to - not cos you have anything to be ashamed of, just cos a lot of people have no tolerance, imagination, education and a lot of stupid misconceptions and fears...

Go for it!

HJ Simpson

Do it!! If you feel it is right for you go for it. People will support you no matter what. You wont change as a person "mentally". I seen a programme on this some years back and as far as I can remember you wont get the operation without quite a lot of councelling.

The whole chopping you langer off and then realising actually its a mistake I dont want to be a woman after all risk.

Reminds me of THE LIFE OF BRIAN. "I want to called Loretta"

HJS

Giblet

Hmm, I wouldn't listen to anyone who goes, JUST DO IT MAN, because thats just stupid, because It's not just a simple thing to get it cut off an your a girl.
Think of all the slaggings you will get, think of the people who will disown you and NOT support you, think that you could end up alone for the rest of your life, think that this might not make you happy, because to be a girl, you must be born a girl. Aesthetics aren't everything.

Get counselling!

Stark

By the way, does anyone know if you can have kids following a sex change operation?

Karl Hungus

I think there'd have to be some sort of artificial insemination or some such thing, honestly, no idea.

MrNuked

I want to be a kangaroo. Looking at kangaroos makes me jealous, I feel empty knowing that I will never be able to jump as high or swiftly as a kangaroo. Sigh.
How can you possibly want to be a girl when you cannot possibly know what it's like to be a girl? You are a man. You will always be a man, no matter what ways you mutilate yourself.
You admire women which makes sense, you feel jealous of them because you feel bad about yourself. Perhaps you're just really attracted to them and confusing it for something else.

nuvolari

Originally posted by k.oriordan
By the way, does anyone know if you can have kids following a sex change operation?

i doubt it, surely the internal plumbing would prevent it?

Gordon

Mr. Nuked I'm sure it's a bit more complicated than that.

I'm curious as to why there has been no reply from the original poster yet. How goes things now 1593?

MrNuked

Oh it is. I just didn't have time to explain it in any depth because I had to go to work

LegacyUser

Those that discuss this only thing about the physical. I would love being a girl too. I have for over 6o years, and still feel the desire to wear a dress and those cute undies, and make up, along with being accepted as a girl by other girls.
I want and need the feeling of being accetpted as a girl, not just the looks of one. I would love to have a man make love to and with me and fill me like I fill my wife.
Am I gay, Maybe, but, that is not the point!
When you close your eyes and think about it, do you feel you want that feeling of a male filling you up and give you that lovely feeling of being total, not just empty. I want to wear lacy, filly panties and bras, and have some nice thin panties with hearts and ribbons, and be admired for my cute body. I want to be kissed an touched and carssed, and to be used as men use their wives!
Am I queer?? Maybe, but I know what I would like and do not care if others feel the same way or understand.