text message manners

BigDaddyKone

is it alright to ask a girl out by text? I am out of call credit but i can use the vodafone website thingy for free text messages. I want to ask her out soon, as I am going away for awhile. I only meet her at the weekend so it would be the first time communicating with her since then. Is a text message too impersonnel?

skipn_easy

It is quite impersonal but you might get away with it as its a casual way of asking her out. Personally I would call - either buy some credit or use a payphone - there would be no ambiguity then as to whether it was a date or not, and you would be making more of an effort.

feylya

Obvisously chat to her first for a while through text then just ask casually. My €0.02

Oriel

If you can't even make the effort to spend time and money on calling her, then I'm not sure she's going to have much to look forward to if she says yes to you.
Text message is bad enough, but free text message?...

DUX

It depends on the girl and if you really like her.
When I meet a girl in a club/pub and I really like her then I definetly pick up the phone and call, it is certainly more personal and smarter to ask her out this way, even though you may risk to call her in a bad moment and this may be quite annoying, so my advise is to call her at around 9 o'clock at evening on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday; avoid the "last minute" weekend call as it would look like you are calling her only because you didn't find anybody else to go out with....

If she is nice but doesn't drive you crazy and you would like to meet her for a laugh and a nice evening together you can text her, if she is interested then will reply. But avoid texting very late at night, better between 8PM and 10 PM......

Good luck!

BigDaddyKone

thanks for the advice. Your point about caring (enough to be credit) is a good one. I was thinking of telling her my phone was broke (which it kind of is, in a fiscal sense) and that is why i can't ring. Surely, it also gives her an easy way of saying no?

DUX

If you text her via web and she replies to you I presume the message she sends will be sent to your phone #...... so: if the phone is "broken" she would wonder how could you have read her message? Next to this if she has the "delivery report enabled" she would find out you are a lier......

come on, pick up the phone and call her: the worst thing she can say is "no".... and there is nothing to be ashamed for.

Much worse if you send her a message and she doesn't even bother to answer... through text message is much easier to dump somebody....

BigDaddyKone

well, I was hoping she would be desperate for some of what i am kicking. But that doesn't sound so realistic. Do you think in general, text messages have changed the dynamic of social interaction? I mean is being dumped by text message going to become the norm? It has advantages, as you do not have to hear the hurt in someones voice. Will it become socially acceptable?

Trojan

Ask by phone or in person, otherwise she's gonna think you're not confident enough to do so (not matter how valid your reason is).

Al.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by BigDaddyKone
I was thinking of telling her my phone was broke (which it kind of is, in a fiscal sense) and that is why i can't ring.

So... the lying begins before you've even started going out? Yeah, that's a real good way of asking someone out!

DUX

Personally I prefer to be dumped "face to face". Via phone is bad, via text message is worse..... this is if I really like the person.

If is a girl I only met once in a club is the other way around as I would get really pissed off if a girl who barely know me dumps me in person.....


One thing: there are alternative ways to invite somebody you just met in a nite club, you may be surprised!
Example: when you leave her from the club don't ask her the phone #.... she will be probably annoyed (if she really like you); let a few days go buy and then send her a card (or bunch of flowers if she if really a "top" one) to her workplace. She will be surprised and flattered and her workmates will be envious and make comments like "I wish a guy did this for me"....and they will actually help and push her to go out with you! Try it, it always works! :-)

Kolodny

Well if divorce by text message might one day be acceptable then asking someone out is hardly a crime. Seriously though, it shows more guts and effort to make a phone call. You could always text her and ask her to ring you back!

patch

Anybody could be sending the text from your phone. It could be someone taking the piss.
Your just opening up a can of worms!!
Be a man and ring her

BigDaddyKone

so the consensus is that it is generally a bad idea. what would your reaction be if a girl asked you out be text (in pretty much the same situation as outlined at the top), ignoring the fact that many of us would be happy to get any sort of date

patch

I'd reckon either her, or her mate, or some kunt I know was maybe having a laugh at my expense.......

Trojan

Originally posted by BigDaddyKone
so the consensus is that it is generally a bad idea. what would your reaction be if a girl asked you out be text (in pretty much the same situation as outlined at the top), ignoring the fact that many of us would be happy to get any sort of date

You can't compare, they're 100% different situations. Women don't ask guys out on dates even in person, so nevermind what the mode of comms is.

Like Nike says, Just Do It.

skipn_easy

Um, I'd have to disagree. Women do ask men out on dates, maybe not as often as men do, but it does happen.

I wouldn't mind if a guy texted me to ask me out, although it would be better if he called me because I would appreciate the effort.

Big Chief

Originally posted by Trojan
You can't compare, they're 100% different situations. Women don't ask guys out on dates even in person, so nevermind what the mode of comms is.

ive been asked out before by a girl i had met at a club before, although all be it i was ment to meet her on the saturday (I actually phoned on the saturday... i dont believe in this txt stuff) but couldnt in the end up, but after me screwing up she phoned me on the wednesday to meet up for a few drinks

as for txting to ask her out, NO NO NO NO NO.... this to me just shows you are a bit spineless, then again ive never been a great fan of txt msgs, i have always preferred to talk and i find it much easier (person2person is much preffered...) Im one of these ppl that goto txt people, get about 5 pages into the text before realising im probably just better off phoning them... maybe i should be more blunt and to the point, but i like blabbing away so

If your nervous about the whole phoning her thing (and it would appear you are due to your post), I found back when i was younger that after i had a few drinks and got in a 'chatty' mood, i would end up phoning and chatting away for ages. Always made things alot easier when i met them again anyway as i had blabbered away for a while (note, dont get drunk... im not recommending this in anyway..) It may be a bad idea by all accounts, but i used to do it as i say and ive never had any problems arise from it.

Good luck with it anyway, now stop hanging around scratching your àss wondering 'what could be' and get phoning

Big Chief

Originally posted by Wyvern
I wouldn't mind if a guy texted me to ask me out, although it would be better if he called me because I would appreciate the effort.

i would disagree and im a bloke, i see it as half assed and lazy, and makes you come across as nervous and a tad spineless..

its making the effort that counts in my opinion

Trojan

Originally posted by Wyvern
Um, I'd have to disagree. Women do ask men out on dates, maybe not as often as men do, but it does happen.

I wouldn't mind if a guy texted me to ask me out, although it would be better if he called me because I would appreciate the effort.

Apologies, what I should have said was

In the overwhelmingly vast majority of cases women don't ask guys out on dates

I guess you're not Joe then?

colm_c

My last girlfriend dumped me with a single text message... We were going out just over 3 months at the time... what a b:tch to do it by txt!!!

Amz

I was dumped over MSN although it kinda confirmed a few things for me about the guy* in question. Plus his reason at the time was a lie as he told me later.






*Not sure if it's good to class him as a man if he's that much of a prick to do that

skipn_easy

I can't believe anyone would dump someone in a text message, or by email or whatever. How rude!

anthonymcg

Originally posted by Amz
I was dumped over MSN although it kinda confirmed a few things for me about the guy* in question.

Dumped on MSN? Thats harsh. Hate people who cant confront issues. If I've got a problem with someone I'll talk about it face to face. People are starting to hide behind new technology cos they can't be arsed making an effort.

littleninja

I can totally sympathise with those who have been dumped over text messages... thats a lousy way to get dumped!!!

I was dumped over the phone by my last boyfriend and it wasn't the happiest time in my life I have to admit, it was after 4 months of me travelling back and forth to Cork to see him (i was living in Monaghan at the time) with very little money to my name .... the excuse he gave was that he "couldn't handle it" anymore.

I mean I was the one who was spending all my money travelling almost the entire way across the country to see him and even then we would spend the entire night in an internet cafe where he would sit and play counter strike and half life - leaving me to sit there and look around twiddling my thumbs all night!!!

To make matters worse, the very NEXT NIGHT he was in msn cybering with another girl, the only reason he had dumped me was to get his rocks off (in a cyber sense) with a married woman in Canada who he knew very well he would never be likely to bump into, I have since come to the conclusion that he was always looking to play the knight in shining armour role just so he could get girls into bed (yes i know this is a tad bitchy but hey!!!)

He has since announced his ENGAGEMENT to another girl who once again he must have seen as a damsel in distress (she had just been kicked out of her ex fiance's house with nowhere to go) and who should come along but mr x (name has been changed to protect him - embee and elexes know who he is though)

Anyways, my view of the male population has been steadily declining ever since really...... ok i've had my rant now ... cheers for listening

embee

Yes, the bloke in question is a complete spa. He was a mutual friend of mine and ninjas, then she hooked up with him. That was a WEEK after he told me that he was in LOVE WITH ME (?!?!?!) and wanted me to break up with my (rather lovely) bf elexes..... He tended to prey on girls who were emotionally vulnerable.... and this new one hes engaged to.... sheesh.... engaged after two weeks........

Ive never been dumped myself, its always been me doing it, and on the whole Ive been decent about it. Apart from this one guy "Mr. Mad"..... I was a bit afraid of him so I did it over the phone........ (on Christmas Eve :S ) ...... but that was because I couldnt stand anymore ........ he then said he was going to kill himself........ TUT TUT

Lord Nikon

Flirt with her/him by txt, it's a lot easier and your not stuck for words when in a phonecall. Then casually say that the both of you meet up for a coffee or go to the cinema or something. Things take time. Get to know her/him first.