The Ventriloquist (oldie but goodie)

GoneShootin · 11-08-2003 10:45am #1

>> A ventriloquist visiting Kerry walks into a small village and sees a
>> local
>> sitting on his porch patting his dog.
>>
>> He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kerryman "Can
>> I talk
>> to your dog?"
>>
>> Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid git."
>>
>> Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
>>
>> Dog: "Doin' all right."
>>
>> Villager: (look of extreme shock)
>>
>> Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the
>> villager)
>>
>> Dog: "Yep"
>>
>> Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
>>
>> Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and
>> takes me
>> to the lake once a week to play."
>>
>> Villager: (look of utter disbelief)
>>
>> Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
>>
>> Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
>>
>> Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
>>
>> Horse: "Cool"
>>
>> Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)
>>
>> Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
>>
>> Horse: "Yep"
>>
>> Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
>>
>> Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
>> brushes me
>> down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
>>
>> Villager: (total look of amazement)
>>
>> Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
>>
>> Villager: (in a panic) "The sheep's a ****ing liar!"