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Orld Domination By The European Union?

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  • 07-08-2003 12:54pm
    #1
    KoNiT
    Registered Users Posts: 578 ✭✭✭


    Read it aloud ...


    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be droped in favour of the "k". This will klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is
    disgraceful, and zey should go away.
    By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be drpd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen havink takun over urrop ve kontinu to tak uvr ze vorld!


Comments

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    #2
    king_of_inismac
    Registered Users Posts: 1,365 ✭✭✭king_of_inismac


    :D Excellent man, well done!!!:D


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    #3
    irishman_abroad
    Registered Users Posts: 553 ✭✭✭irishman_abroad


    genius:D


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    #4
    Tyrrial
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,105 ✭✭✭Tyrrial


    fantastic!!!:D :D


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    #5
    SoundWave
    Registered Users Posts: 1,146 ✭✭✭SoundWave


    very good


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    #6
    irishgeo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,395 ✭✭✭irishgeo


    done before got that in an email a few years back.


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    #7
    bozzie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 534 ✭✭✭bozzie


    rofl

    good one


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    #8
    simu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,730 ✭✭✭✭simu


    Funny, I've seen the exact same joke in French!


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    #9
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,874 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Originally posted by KoNiT

    "disgraceful"

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.



    Spelling mistake :)




    v. funneh joke tho' :)


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