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Whats the most stupid joke youve ever heard?

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  • 04-08-2003 1:25pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 2,890 ✭✭✭


    For me its any of the following :

    Whats brown and sticky?
    A Brown stick.

    Whats pink and fluffy?
    Pink Fluff.

    Whats blue and fluffy?
    Pink fluff with a cold.....

    etc etc....

    Groan.

    In other news,

    Mick Hucknall of Simply Red fame was arrested yesterday after being charged with serious sexual assault on a rabbit. One shocked witness told police that hucknall was "Holding back the ears" and was heard shouting "Bunnys too tight to mention"


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,892 ✭✭✭bizmark


    i think the worst jokeish thing i heard is a chat up line

    "hey nice legs when do they open"

    i mean thats so bad it is funny .........And does that ever work!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,236 ✭✭✭AL][EN


    mine would have to be

    Q.) What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
    A.) A stick.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,382 ✭✭✭ando


    what ya call a 3 legged donkey?

    a wonkey :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭weemcd


    why did sally fall off the swing?
    cos she had no arms!
    who pushed the dog off the clif?
    wasnt sally

    why could the goat not talk?
    cos it was made out of wood


  • Registered Users Posts: 35,523 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    Ando - you missed the rest of it:

    What do you call a one eyed donkey with 3 legs playing the guitar?

    A winky wonkey honky tonky donkey.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 455 ✭✭penguinbloke


    whats red and invisible?
    No Tomatoes


    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
    Because it was dead.

    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
    Because it was tied to the first monkey

    Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
    Because it thought it was a game.


    Whats grey and fluffy?
    Dead pink fluff.


  • Registered Users Posts: 35,523 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    Originally posted by penguinbloke
    whats red and invisible?
    No Tomatoes
    haha!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,942 ✭✭✭Mac daddy


    Q-what do ya call a ginger bread man with one leg. :p:p :eek:















    A- limp bizkit:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: i know very bad;) ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,808 ✭✭✭Dooom


    this isnt even a joke but:

    whats the irish equivalent of Limp Bizkit?

    - A hobnob with a sore leg :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 989 ✭✭✭MrNuked


    "Mats have tails" (because mats rhymes with cats and cats have tails.)

    "Transformers: Robot in The Skies [disguise]" because hey can fly and because they can go in disguise.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 553 ✭✭✭irishman_abroad


    Q - Whats white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

    A - A fridge.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22 Shell


    2 tomatoes in an oven.
    One turns around to the other and says
    "f u c k, it's hot in here!"
    the other turns around and says,
    "f u c k, a talkin tomato!" :rolleyes:


    ______________________________________________

    i am a stunning work of art............... i shud be hung!!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Oriel


    What do you get if you cross a knife and a dog?

    A dead dog...


  • Registered Users Posts: 553 ✭✭✭irishman_abroad


    Whats pink and hard?







    A pig with a flick-knife.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Two fish in a tank, one says to the other:

    "How do you drive this thing?"


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,236 ✭✭✭AL][EN


    Originally posted by Sarky
    Two fish in a tank, one says to the other:

    "How do you drive this thing?"


    herd something like that

    the one i herd is two fish in a tank one says to the other

    "you man the guns and i'll drive!!"


    OR

    Two fish swimming in a lake one hits a concrete wall it turns to the other fish and says ....... DAMN!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 455 ✭✭penguinbloke


    A jellybaby is in a club for the first time and is kind of nervous until a smartie goes over to him and says that he'll look after him.

    All goes well until a pair of airwaves come along
    the smartie hides under the table and the airwaves beat the beeJayzus out of the jelly baby

    with its dying breath the jellybaby looks up and asks the smartie
    "Why?..."

    The smartie looks back and says
    "Those Airwaves... their F***in Menthol!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,730 ✭✭✭✭simu


    Bad jokes from when i was a kid:

    Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden wheels, and the wooden doors and the wooden engine?

    It wooden go!


    What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

    You can't tuna fish.


    How do you make a Swiss Roll?

    Push him down a mountain. (Apologies to Swiss readers)


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,685 ✭✭✭✭BlitzKrieg


    Originally posted by Shell
    2 tomatoes in an oven.
    One turns around to the other and says
    "f u c k, it's hot in here!"
    the other turns around and says,
    "f u c k, a talkin tomato!" :rolleyes:


    ______________________________________________

    i am a stunning work of art............... i shud be hung!!



    I never get those jokes...


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,031 ✭✭✭buddy


    Whats black & white & red all over?
    A nun after falling off a cliff.

    Whats black & white & laughing?
    The nun who pushed her.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,783 ✭✭✭Puck


    Why couldn't Rover bark?

    Because he was a goldfish!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,890 ✭✭✭embee


    Q :What do you call a tribe of pygmies who live in long grass?

    A : The "Wherethephuckarewe" tribe......

    *Cries*


  • Registered Users Posts: 35,523 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    You all should be on stage...
    ON A STAGE COACH OUTTA HERE!

    What do you call a Reliant Robin with a football in it?
    A whistle.


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