Hot then cold... whats the story...

sutty

Ok, I'm not going to name any names here. But some of the people are going to know who I'm on about. I was out with some lads from work last night and we bumbed in to a girl I met at a party and went out with one other time and her friends in brakers. (2 boarders where there with her too) Anyway, I didn't want to go over as I knew she was out on a girls night. However one of the boarders seen me and said I should go ever. Being drunk I did. She was happy to see me. So I was more then happy to stay around. My mates left with out me. Thinking I'd be there with her the rest of the night. (and so did I) How ever after about 10min she walked off for like 30min. then came back for 5min and then off to the bogs for like 15min. When she came back we where being asked to make our way to the doors as the club was closing. So we where walking to Gorges street to get a taxi or food (which ever came first) But one of the girls friends was there and the two boarders. She started talking to her friend (fair enough like) so about 15min later I went over to see what the story was and if they would like to move on (me and the two boarders did anyway). But all I got was "I'm talking to my friend, I'll be finished shortly" So about an other 15min later one of the boarders goes over and tells them we are bored and hungry so we where going for food. She goes to me ok, text me where you are and I'll meet up later. So I did. At this time it was 4:30 and I hadn't hear anything. So I jumped ok a nitelink home. When I gave her a ring she was in a taxi going home....

Whats really got me was how rude she was. Not to sure what I should do now. Any thoughts? Most of the guys I know would say drop her...

Zombrex

When she left you for like 30 minutes did she leave you on your own or chatting to the other Boarders?, cause leaving you on your own for 30 min is a bit rude (I would have said feck this at that stage and met up with your friends again).

Then again it is not rude to not want to go to the chipper with the rest of you. After all you weren't on a night-out together, you just met her at the pub. Sounds like she was more interested in yapping away to her friend than talking to you. Don't mean to be harsh, but I think she has already dropped you.

rymus

Originally posted by sutty
Whats really got me was how rude she was. Not to sure what I should do now. Any thoughts? Most of the guys I know would say drop her...

I'd have to agree with them. The old hot & cold thing gets old VERY fast tbh, it's not as if she's playing hard to get, shes just being plain rude. If she's not responding, drop her and move on. In the greater scheme of things it's just not worth the bloody hassle..

gandalf

Well man its like this I have a rule about "Game players" I ditch them.

If she doesn't have enough respect for ya then forget her. Of course maybe you read more into the situation because of alcohol which could also explain things. Have you talked to her since ?

Gandalf.

Beruthiel

Most of the guys I know would say drop her...

I would agree, you don't treat someone you really like and are interested in like this, end of story.
unless of course,
she was really, really, really drunk

dod

(raises eyes to heaven theatrically and then exclaims at the top of his voice)

BLOODY WIMMIN!

sutty

Nope she wasn't really drunk. I was out with her today. Desided not to try anything to see what she would do. Nothing, so thats thats the end of that. ah well.....

Gordon

You... didn't do anything? And she didn't do anything...

ah jeeziz.

Plenty more fish in the chip shop then.

sutty

Aye, I wanted to see if she would at lest kiss me. But nothing. just wanted to see what she would do.

WhiteWashMan

so, sutty, youe saying that you saw a girl you know.
you went over to her and said hello.
10 minutes alter she buggered off.
and you spent the rest of the night stalking her and timing her absence from the groups table?
she then wanted to chat to some friends, and you started telling her to move on.
where were you going to go?
straight to bed after ohhhh, about 15 minutes of 'hello, how are you, long time no see' chat?

playing games?

i dont think so. i just think she is someone you met in the past who was on a night out and who is happy to say hi, but didnt really want to talk to you.
i am also not sure why you hung around this girl and her party for (how long was it) an hour without getting the hint that she didnt seem to want to talk.


tbh, the girl doesnt appear to have done any wrong.
i find it ammusing that everyone seem to think the girl is playing games.
now, can someone answer me why that is?

OLDYELLAR

I suppose it depends on the mood she was in , if i met someone out and i knew they wanted more than friendship and i didnt , then id be short with them and avoid them just so they didnt go into the whole awkward , i like you thing , because then at least you leave them with some hope and that your a bitch and not worth it , which i find better than the constant texts goin , oh why?we could give it a try .
On one hand right she sounds a bit rude , but i suppose you did just accidentally meet her , it was`nt a date or anything and maybe she wanted to subtly tell you she didnt want tongue , but if she is playing hard to get , shes taking it a bit far in that a lot of fellas would`nt even talk o her again if she left them standing there like that.

mooman_00

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
tbh, the girl doesnt appear to have done any wrong.
i find it ammusing that everyone seem to think the girl is playing games.
now, can someone answer me why that is?

cuz perhaps that no-one likes admitting that they might be wrong/unattractive/stalkerish and people prefer blaming everyone else for stuff that doent go the way they plan.

I also dont agree that this girl done anything wrong. It sounds to me like something i'd do when some girl i didn't like started hounding me in a club.

It doesn't mean that she isn't a bitch tho, i suggest forgetting about her and finding someone else or perhaps getting off with one of her friends in a feebile bid to make her see whats she's missing.

loismustdie

n i suggest that the thread starter becomes a little bit less in tune wit his feminine side and his consolers tooo, get over it and why the hell you leave your friends to go hang out of practicle strangers

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by mooman_00
cuz perhaps that no-one likes admitting that they might be wrong/unattractive/stalkerish and people prefer blaming everyone else for stuff that doent go the way they plan.

plan?

it was a chance meeting in a club

Originally posted by mooman_00

I also dont agree that this girl done anything wrong. It sounds to me like something i'd do when some girl i didn't like started hounding me in a club.

so you are saying the girl done wrong, but at the same time its something you would do if it happened to you.
how does that work?
are you saying that you are also not perfect at telling people to bugger off if youa re not interested?
so it seems the girl may just be bad at being blunt?
so maybe, she was just trying not to be rude, but trying those subtle hints that people do so that people know they arent interested?

in that case, what did the girl do wrong?

Originally posted by mooman_00
It doesn't mean that she isn't a bitch tho, i suggest forgetting about her and finding someone else or perhaps getting off with one of her friends in a feebile bid to make her see whats she's missing.

if there happens to be a chance meeting again...

yeah, go prove your point.
go and make sure the girl who ISNT interested gets the point that she missing something she DOESNT want.
oh, and oyu know her mates are all dying for a shag......

im only using your post by the way mooman beause you replied, but this is a general post to people who will automatically think that someone else is x,y or z because someone posts up their side of the story.
now, i know sutty pretty well. known him a number of years in fact, and i can honestly say he is no brad pitt. hes an ok bloke that is cool enough to go out with for a few beers. he likes computers and geeky stuff, and is by no means a woman eater.

and if you are in a nite club, he is not going to be top of some birds list of 'shags i want tonight'
and lets face it, unlike men, women actually dont go out all the time looking for a cóck. its true. unlike 99% of hetro sexual males who are single (and quiet a few of those who arent), women arent always looking to get chatted up.
so, you may believe oyu are there giving it socks and getting somewhere, and a girl may just be chatting to you out of politeness or interest. doesnt mean she wants to sit on your face.

and sutty, you should know better mate and be more sensible.

mooman_00

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
so you are saying the girl done wrong, but at the same time its something you would do if it happened to you.
how does that work?
are you saying that you are also not perfect at telling people to bugger off if youa re not interested?

No i didn't mean that she'd done something wrong and yes it is something i do but usually to people i dont even fancy talking to. I'm polite and stay for some mindless chat but then exit to somewhere they aren't. Maybe its just me but telling every person that i don't like talking to them, and telling every girl i dont fancy that i dont fancy them is a bit too upfront for me.

And yes im also not perfect at telling people to bugger off if im not interested in them. If she led him on then buggered off then she is a bitch but if she was only being polite and then went elsewhere and sutty miss-read the situation then she didn't really do anything wrong.

sutty

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
so, sutty, youe saying that you saw a girl you know.
you went over to her and said hello.
10 minutes alter she buggered off.
and you spent the rest of the night stalking her and timing her absence from the groups table?
she then wanted to chat to some friends, and you started telling her to move on.
where were you going to go?
straight to bed after ohhhh, about 15 minutes of 'hello, how are you, long time no see' chat?

playing games?

i dont think so. i just think she is someone you met in the past who was on a night out and who is happy to say hi, but didnt really want to talk to you.
i am also not sure why you hung around this girl and her party for (how long was it) an hour without getting the hint that she didnt seem to want to talk.


tbh, the girl doesnt appear to have done any wrong.
i find it ammusing that everyone seem to think the girl is playing games.
now, can someone answer me why that is?

Eh no, I had first met her on Sunday last (before said event) and had gone out on Thursday night with her (and *WE* had a great night) Then I was out with some lads from work on saturday and they wanted to go to brake for the border. I knew she was there and didn't want to go. So she wouldn't think I was doing the hole stalking thing. Anyway after how she acted on saturday night, I wasn't really assed my-self (Rude people p1ss me off)

/me looks at wwman

As for the timing bit, I was just giving times it felt like, in order to get the point across of her going off.

Serbian

Ring her and say it to her straight out. However, putting myself in your shoes and trying to imagine being in the situation you describe above, I came to the following scientific conclusion:

She's not interested.

I know you say you two had a great night out and all that lark, but you can have a great night, and things still don't work out. Such is the dating game.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by mooman_00

And yes im also not perfect at telling people to bugger off if im not interested in them. If she led him on then buggered off then she is a bitch but if she was only being polite and then went elsewhere and sutty miss-read the situation then she didn't really do anything wrong.

so if someone likes you but you are not interested, and then hangs around where you and mates have their base for the night, what do you do?
go and stand somewhere else for an evening?

i see nothing about leading on.

i see a 10 minute conversation, and then a night spent avoiding sutty (no offence sutty)

As for the timing bit, I was just giving times it felt like, in order to get the point across of her going off.

and your point was what?

that she wasnt interested?
and yet you still tried at the end of the night with chips and taxis etc?

come on man.

Gordon

Ahh chips and taxis... or even chips 'n taxis. The staple beings of any fine young relationship.

hedgetrimmer

To be honest, the whole thing sounds alcohol induced - the swing from "hot to cold" as you put it was probably due to the fact that she did not 100% know what she was doing, and in that respect it's probably better than ye went your separate ways that evening. If I were you, I'd ask her for a daytime coffee before going out on the razz again

sutty

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
so if someone likes you but you are not interested, and then hangs around where you and mates have their base for the night, what do you do?
go and stand somewhere else for an evening?

i see nothing about leading on.

i see a 10 minute conversation, and then a night spent avoiding sutty (no offence sutty)



and your point was what?

that she wasnt interested?
and yet you still tried at the end of the night with chips and taxis etc?

come on man.

Is it just me or is the only reasion you post to see what crap your going to come up with next?

Gordon

Steady on sutty, Wwm is telling you straight tbh.

Trojan

Now boys! Be good

Eamo! Sort that feckin date out!

logic1

Looks like Eamos bang on the button.

That's how I'm reading it too.

.logic.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by sutty
Is it just me or is the only reasion you post to see what crap your going to come up with next?

if you are afraid to hear something that may offend you, dont put out an open question on a bullitan board.
just because you dont like what ive said, doesnt mean its not true, its merely how i am reading the situation.