The Headlines

GoneShootin

Actual Headlines from 2002
==========================

* Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
* Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
* Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
* Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
* Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
* Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
* Miners Refuse to Work after Death
* Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
* War Dims Hope for Peace
* If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
* Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
* Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
* Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
* Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
* New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
* Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
* Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
* Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
* Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
* Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Carbiens

gah! most of them are only half the actual sentences that were in the headlines, they just cut bits out to make them more funny.

still it worked though most of them are hilarious:D

Capt'n Midnight

and you are missing lots of them.......

43 Actual Newspaper Headlines

1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
7. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
8. Stud Tires Out
9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
10. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
11. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
12. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
13. McCreevy Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
14. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
16. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
17. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
18. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
19. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
20. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
21. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
22. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
23. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
24. War Dims Hope for Peace
25. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
26. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
27. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
28. Deer Kill 17,000
29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
30. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
36. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
37. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Steals Clock, Faces Time
40. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
41. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
42. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
43. Include your Children When Baking Cookies

de5p0i1er

ROFL. Very good, keep 'em comming.

bozzie

thems some cool headlines

TomTom

god they are good, love em.

Pugsley

* Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

rofl, great