Families

skipn_easy

Centurian Christian Church
It is the Christian viewpoint that God created family - man and woman to manage the earth's resources and to procreate. In effect, multiplying God's creation in each new generation and also as a token of God's relationship with people. Satan has taken what was good, and has perverted it to such an extent that single-parent families are almost as widely accepted as a family headed by a father and a mother.

Are children in single parent families worse off than children in so-called traditional families or are there benefits in being brought up in a single parent family?

While same-sex marriages are still not recognised here in Ireland, would a same-sex couple be able to provide as nurturing and healthy a family enviroment as a traditional family?

An article published by gaysouthafrica.org.za maintains that a homosexual family is no stranger or more unnatural than a single-parent family, step families or adoptive families.

Opinions?

I think a non-traditional family can be just as good if not better in some cases than a traditional one and hope that they will soon get the same rights and respect as other families but i'm interested to hear what other peoples' views are on this subject.

Boston

Usually theres a reason for a single parent family, sometime its a good one. I don't buy into this whole stay together untill the bitter bitter end thing. Yes i think it would be better in a perfect world to have a balance up bringing by two parents, mother and father. But if that means you get the **** kicked out of you every night as a kid, then it's just not worth it.

La_Gordy

I for one am totally for same sex marriages and and gay couples being allowed adopt simply because i have a friend whose parents are lesbians and he is a perfectly happy boy because even though its not the typical family , the family are very happy and loving. I think once its a loving family then that is all the child needs , not a mum and a dad as such but two parental figures that can love and care for the child like all children deserve.

Boston

How can you be totaly for same sex marriage. My porblem is not that you support them, just you enthusiasm for them. One could argue that they are no better or worse, but the way you talk, its as if you believe in they completely. Also do you not think that there should be balanced intereaction from both genders and that a child development souldn't be limited in this way? While i agreed a loving and supportive family environment is the most important thing, same sex marriage are not without there problems, same as self parent families aren't without theres.

sceptre

Originally posted by Wyvern
While same-sex marriages are still not recognised here in Ireland, would a same-sex couple be able to provide as nurturing and healthy a family enviroment as a traditional family?

Can't see any reason why not. The importance is the loving and nurturing environment.

tribble

We have very little experience of same sex parents so I can't say whether it would prove to be good, bad or indifferent.

But one negitive thing stands out - the kid of a same sex (esp. male) family would be most likly to be severly picked on in school - "hehe, you're Moms' ur Dad", etc.

tribble

bug

I grew up in a family with many adults looking after me. My mother was sick when I was born and I was looked after by my aunt, my sisters and brothers did feeding times etc....I was looked after by an extended family due to various circumstances. In fact this happened alot in my family. babies were handed around due to sickness. I suppose its made us a close faily group of about thirty:) its great, but you get very used to having lots of ppl around you and solitude for me makes me very uneasy. My point being,- ppl, whatever ppl, who bring ppl up will make mistakes, once the child is shown love, I think your doing well. I imagine it'd be nice for a child to have a close relationship with someone of both sexes, whether it be an uncle if its a female same sex couple, or vica versa, although I dont really have an opinion on same sex relationships and children as I have never seen any children of such an enviroment.

DriftingRain

Are children in single parent families worse off than children in so-called traditional families or are there benefits in being brought up in a single parent family?

My parents got divorced when I was 8 years old. I lived with my father till I was 14. For 6 years, I was the only girl in a house with a father and two brothers. My life sucked. I did all the house work, and took care of my two younger brothers. After I was old enough to "by law" make my own decision on who I wanted to live with I choose to live with my mother. I think single parent families lack something that the other parent can't give. I think childern need both parents to be actively involved in their lives. If the parents can't live together for some reason. Then they need to still play active roles in their childerns lives. My mother moved states and I got to see her maybe once a month. This let my father bad mouth her in my resence and I don't know it kinda took away from having both parents. I am not sure if any of that made sence but...I think both parents need to be actively involved and if possible under the same roof.:rolleyes:

While same-sex marriages are still not recognised here in Ireland, would a same-sex couple be able to provide as nurturing and healthy a family enviroment as a traditional family?

I have never witnessed it so I really can't judge. I think if two girls were tring to raise a male it would be harder because males need other males attention, they need to have the man thing. Same for two men raising a little girl. Girls tend to need other women esp. when they start puberty and are dating and other things. When I lived ith my father and two brothers, telling my father he needed to go to the store and buy my um...girlie things was a total embarrasment.

I think a non-traditional family can be just as good if not better in some cases than a traditional one and hope that they will soon get the same rights and respect as other families but i'm interested to hear what other peoples' views are on this subject.

I do kinda agree with you here. I think some one has the right to choose their own will. What you do is your business and should stay that way. As for having childern. You have to be fully commited. childern are so influential and they pick up on everything. Kids hurt other kids. It's all part of growing up and learning. But, when a child is put into the situation as

hehe, you're Moms' ur Dad",

this is terrible. A child that isn't told or taught diffenent won't know how to handle it, and is to small to make their own decisions on how to feel about it. This makes complications on wether a child will grow up to be totally against it and disown/runaway the parental figures. You I guess just have to be very careful with childern in these situations? I don't know...Just thoughts:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

simu

I think the most important thing for a kid is to have a person, or people who care about him and whom he/she can trust and confide in growing up. As far as I see, gender or sexuality don't really matter too much at all.

I'm always amazed how everyone presumes a child's biological, heterosexual, in-a-steady-relationship parents know what's best for that child as this is not always necessarily the case. I've often seen young children being sworn at, shouted at visciously and made feel bad for perfectly normal behaviour (i.e. jumping around, exploring etc) by their parents in public. This makes you wonder what goes on at home. I know kids need some discipline but I've seen parents who use nasty techniques to do so, such as telling their kids they hate them or hurting them physically(not just a light smack but a fierce wallop). I really hate seeing this as you can tell that children who are treated this way will always be more prone to low self-esteem and are more likly to accept being treated this way by others in the future. Yet ppl who want to adopt kids have to undergo extensive tests and assessments. I think all parents, no matter what their sexuality, marital status, relation to the kids etc should be checked out more and maybe we could help prevent child abuse and neglect this way.

But one negitive thing stands out - the kid of a same sex (esp. male) family would be most likly to be severly picked on in school - "hehe, you're Moms' ur Dad", etc.

Well, this is the not the fault of the same sex parents but the result of ignorant beliefs that, I hope, will die out as acceptance of gays increases in Ireland. Bullies will always find some excuse for picking on other kids though - it's up to teachers and parents to watch out for such behaviour.

I think if two girls were tring to raise a male it would be harder because males need other males attention, they need to have the man thing. Same for two men raising a little girl. Girls tend to need other women esp. when they start puberty and are dating and other things.

I'm not so sure - there's always extended family, friends, teachers etc of the opposite sex and besides, gender stereotypes are not as strong as they used to be. I've always found it hideously embarassing to discuss anything sex-related with either my mother or my father. Maybe, similarly to the way they try to encourage more women to have careers in engineering, they should encourage more men to get into teaching to balance things out a bit.

Just some of my random thoughts on the topic...

skipn_easy

I kind've think that being from a single parent home it has made me stronger than I ever would've been, I don't think I would be as independant as I am now if my parents had stayed together while I was growing up - so thats a good thing.

I'm not saying that its the best way to be brought up, but dealing with situations like single-parents, same-sex couples etc. will make children mentally stronger, less ignorant and more confident in themselves and their abilities to cope.

And in the same way that heterosexual couples can make mistakes in raising their families I think any other kind of family can also make mistakes- that is there can be good and not so good parents in every kind of family.

I'm surprised at the amount of open-mindedness there is so far to the idea of non-traditional families. I thought for sure there would be more protests about the ideas. Just have to wait for the laws to start changing for the benefits of single dads and same-sex marriages.

Rnger

I was 3 when my mother passed away, I never knew her at all.

I dont think it was a could thing that it happend. Knowing how ive turned out I really could have used some kind of female impression on my childhood. Also having to cook for myself at a young age didnt help. I'm quite skinny as a result. I supose I am quite independant and "strong" compared to some people I know who have the "normal" family situation, but I think I just got that from my father rather then anything else.

I don't know anybody raised by same sex parents, but as Nisara said, if they're happy? Child and parents included, whats the problem?

McGinty

I am a single parent raising my son alone, I have done this since he was six months old. In mine and his circumstances, leaving his father was the best thing for us. I beleive that ideally a father and mother raising a child is best, but life is not that simple, so in my situation, it was best to leave his father, as my son's emotional health would have seriously suffered and I mean seriously suffered. However I ensure that my son does have a male role model, his granddad, and uncles that he can identify with and maybe later ask questions.

Simirarly I know someone who is widowed and he is raising three children alone, two of which are girls and it is difficult for him with the girls because again of women's issues. So for me personally I think it is preferable to have two parents, again preferbly male and female. I am not disciminating against the rights of the gay community, I am just saying ideally. In reality you could have a same sex couple raising a child in a healthy way and a hetersexual couple raising a child in an abusive household.

Maybe as part of the school curiculum, kids should learn parenting skills, how to raise children lovingly, how to deal with pressures of parenting, how to discipline a child effectively without resorting to violence, money management and all the other skills required when raising a child. Lastly people should really, really think before they have a child.

Lastly I am now going to cause offence, some people are single parents because of circumstances, in other words they didn't plan to be a single parent. I do not however agree with people purposefully becoming single parents, as they are not taking into account of the child's rights and are getting pregnant for selfish reasons.

HJ Simpson

My brother got custody eventually of his daughter aged eleven after her mother decided she didnt want her anymore. Something about regaining her freedom.
He is the one who went throught the whole girlie thing with her. Yes it was/is strange for him but his daughter has alway talked to him about anything she felt. She was luckily enough never embarressed about it. Thankfully myself and him are quite close so my girlfriend is there for her if she needs to talk which happened in the last few weeks about feminine products.

So I guess I still think you need both gender to give advise or at least someone of the same gender who has been through the growing up changes.


HJS

Nevyn

what is a family a group or pople you are ratled to or the group of people that care for you , are your support network and having them arround adds to you and you to them ?

The more people in a childs life that loves them, cares for them, contributes in a good way to thier lives the better.