A guy I really like

LegacyUser

I am a 19 yo male and have had feelings for other men for the last couple of years aswell as women. But the prolem is I ahve fallen for one guy and we have this connection. Problem is he is straight and I am bi. He is cultured, tall , intelligent and well built. We get on fantastic and have felt like this about him for six months since we became mates. Anyways to make a long stor short I am quite simply head over heals yet its killing me that if I ex[plain how I feel about him it may make thing arkward. He knoes I am bi but I cant help feeling this way. He is ok with gay/bi

Gordon

I feel that this would be better in the GLB board, window cleaner. You will get more appropriate responses methinks.

You may still post as Unregistered in this forum.

yellum

God I think we all have been in situations like that.

I was mad about this straight guy I knew for a while. He was a lovely open minded guy too and thats why there was such an attraction but I realised nothing was going to happen so I just bottled it up and the feelings passed. I met someone else who also liked me so that helped me get over him. Thing was the feelings weren't very strong.

However recently I've actually fallen in a bad way for a best friend. I think I'm actually in love with him. Silly me. Unrequited love is so tragic. I didn't want to tell him cos it would ruin our friendship cos if we did go out we'd end up splitting and I was afraid we'd never had the friendship we once had which was really special.

You have to ask though what would happen if you told this person. How would they feel and react ?

If you tell him would he get freaked or would he be cool and accept it ?

I know what its like to want to tell the person cos it eats and eats at you. You do have to weigh up the reward of getting it out of your heart against a bad reaction from him.

I know two guys that are mad about me (I'm not boasting) and they've let me know how they feel and I was saddened to tell them that I didn't feel the same way cos they are nice blokes and deserve to be loved by someone just as sweet as them. When they told me I didn't react badly and we are still good friends.

Yoda

Oh how many of my straight best friends did I fall for over the years? All of them. How many reciprocated? None, of course. How many am I still friends with? Most if not all of them.

No, you can't help feeling the way you feel. Feel it! But be buddhist about it. You can't be attached to the outcome of those feelings.

One time a couple of years ago a close friend I had suddenly stopped speaking to me for no reason; I was devastated. (It turns out that the reason was that he had his own issues.) I had a lot of attachment issues, and worked really hard on it in my conscious mind and in meditation. One day I really "got" that I did love him unconditionally, and that I could do so, friends or no friends, and that I was really free. It was a tremendous and enormously expansive feeling.

And believe it or not, the very next day, when I least expected it and certainly wasn't looking, there I was in OotL (uncharacteristically) with a big yellow Burmese dictionary on my lap (characteristically), when I met my best beloved with whom I've been ever since.

Amnesiac_ie

Here's a link to a guy who also has a huge crush on a striaght friend... hope it helps...

http://www.bgiok.org.uk/diary/diary.htm

solice

i say if he is straight, dont tell him. its not worth the hassel that will come with it.

yellum, u say that u have fallen in love with a guy but dont want to tell him because it would ruin your friendship. then u said that 2 guys told u they were "mad about you" but that we are still good friends. maybe u should take a leaf out of their books.
but first, are u sure that u are still good friends with those 2 ppl

yellum

Its complicated but I've told the person. He knows now but I left it too late. Hehe. Clever I know.

And yes I'm still friends with the other 2 and we meet up now and then.

dendenz

Life throws up these situations, if you were to explain how you felt to this guy you miught risk the friendship and ruin it all but keeping quiet might ruin you but keep the frindship. Tough one

LegacyUser

Originally posted by window_cleaner
I am a 19 yo male and have had feelings for other men for the last couple of years aswell as women. But the prolem is I ahve fallen for one guy and we have this connection. Problem is he is straight and I am bi. He is cultured, tall , intelligent and well built. We get on fantastic and have felt like this about him for six months since we became mates. Anyways to make a long stor short I am quite simply head over heals yet its killing me that if I ex[plain how I feel about him it may make thing arkward. He knoes I am bi but I cant help feeling this way. He is ok with gay/bi

This sounds exactly like my own situation.
I told him as we are very close friends.
It's difficult to know what to do, but luckilly, things haven't changed a bit and methinks we are going to be close friends for life, I know he would support me and I would do anything for him
Because he is straight,the line is drawn and that is tough.
It's a case of choosing what is important to you.
The fantastic times you have with your friend, sound like what I would choose.
You have to be strong in situations like this, Very strong.
Sooner or later, your friend will have a partner of his own and if you think it feels bad now, it will be awfull then. It is better that you have at least another couple of close friends/Gay friends who are aware of your situation and can lend you support.
You never know, but you might click with one of them, or friends of theirs and that will help you a lot.

LegacyUser

ok... now make that close friend gay but seemingly uninterested tho it's never been said. I think people let this happen because they think if it'll never happen how can you be dissappointed.