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Jeremy Clarkson and the best car in the world.

  • 26-07-2000 9:46pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,660 ✭✭✭


    You've just got to love his lines - this 1's from this month's topgear magazine : "You've got to respect God's morphing abilities. Water into wine is good, but dead fish into petrol is so much better."

    lol smile.gif

    This month they're doing a Ferrari 360 vs. Porsche 911 Turbo and though I haven't read it yet, IMO it's got to be the Ferrari. The Porsche is the typical German car and the Ferrari; oh so Italian.

    You can tell which is better just by looking at them. Ferrari spent a ridiculous amount of time in the wind tunnel testing the 360, getting the aerodynamics perfect so they wouldn't have to spoil the lines of the car with a rear spoiler. You get the feeling no-one asked them to do it - that they wanted to get the car right. The result is a absolutely gorgeous car.

    The Porsche still looks vaguely like a Kubelwagen and you get the feeling they didn't have the imagination for anything else. The Porsche is engineered. They spent about 5 minutes in the wind tunnel then bolted on a rear spoiler. When that didn't work they put some motors into the spoiler to raise a section of it when it went above 70mph. They also made it four wheel drive and added the electronic PSM (Porsche Stability Management). This detects when one wheel is losing grip and diverts power from it to the other wheels to compensate. They've left nothing for the driver to do and killed anything you could have enjoyed in it.

    The Dodge Viper is a totally different machine. It's like they started with a car that looked butch and gave it a whopping 8.0litre V8. It must sound like the world is coming to an end when it's in the high rev. range. I can't even imagine what the 12.0litre customised Venom would be like. But where you're bound to call the Ferrari "she" on occasion, you're only ever going to call the Viper "it". You'd never love the brutish Viper the way you would the lithe, elegant Ferrari.

    There's so many other cars you could mention but they'd all be dismissed so quickly. Lamborghini Diablo - too coarse. Jaguar - too comfort-orientated. Rolls Royce - too damn big. TVR Cerbera - not inspiring enough. Lister Storm - a racing car, not a road car. Mitsubishi EVOvi - same as the Porsche. Honda NSX - oh, so ugly. Corvette - poor man's Viper BMW - poor man's Porsche. Mercedes - poor man's Roll's.

    The Ferrari 360 overshadows them all.

    Which is why it's such a shame the 360 Spyder (convertible) is so ugly mad.gif


    In case you're wondering - I drive a '91 Fiesta. frown.giffrown.giffrown.giffrown.gif


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 936 ✭✭✭FreaK_BrutheR


    I presently drive a Mini 1.1i... bored cylinders...lowered to the floor with 13" alloys extra wide with arches added...cooper mock interior...modified suspension (tight as a ducks proverbial) and a few other bits and bobs thrown in.

    I have just ordered a new mini...the mini se7en. I had though of making a purchase of new Cooper Sports but reckon half the fun with minis is in the customisation process so i got bog standard. The engine is exactly the same (houses a 1.3i Cooper Engine) but the trims are much more in keeping with the origional mini design. The Cooper sports is a bit over the top imo...i like sleek understated style in a mini myself. bonnet stripes....pfah! Anyway its arriving at the end of August.....can't wait to get her in the garage for a little bit of tinkering so to speak.

    The size of ones car is apparently indirectly proportionate to teh size of your todger....or so i like to think.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Excelsior


    the idea that <b> porsche </b> threw a car into for "about 5 minutes in the wind tunnel then bolted on a rear spoiler" is just odd daft talk. for my money the best car in the world is an audi a6 estate in one of their clever diesel engines that out-perform petrols in speed and emissions. at least someday you could buy one of them. though the skoda range is pretty close to perfect at the moment.
    freak_bruther- your mini sounds cool.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,488 ✭✭✭SantaHoe


    yeh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Excelsior


    i won a suzuki alto two days ago.
    i don't drive.
    i don't intend to either.
    my bike does me.

    It is so lonely here in my indecipherable tower of speech impedimency

    [This message has been edited by Excelsior (edited 27-07-2000).]


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,660 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    Of course I'm not suggesting they literally only had the Porsche in the wind tunnel for five minutes. It's obviously an exaggeration. In case you missed it : the point was they didn't dedicate the time Ferrari did to getting the aerodynamics right without spoiling the look of the car.

    BTW, I still haven't read the article but I'm told they pick the Porsche cos it's more affordable rolleyes.gif It's like buying Q2 instead of Half-Life cos it's cheaper eek.gif

    There's nothing wrong with the Audi A6 estate but the thing to be careful of is not people falling asleep at the wheel, it's people falling asleep as you tell them about it! biggrin.gif

    "at least someday you could buy one of them" - actually a Ferrari 360 (or equivalent) at £100,000 or so will be within my financial reach one day. Hopefully one day it'll be a year's salary but realistically I'd probably have to save for five or six years for one.

    My plan at the moment is to buy a house as soon as possible so when I hit my mid-life crisis I can go mortgage it and buy a Ferrari.

    You could always get one second-hand too - about £40,000?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭NakedBibleReadingMan


    lets face it, u dont really care how much time a car has spent in the wind tunnel. u want one becoz its ferrari and its nice looking. FACT: all supercars handle like shopping trolleys no matter how long they've been in a windtunnel wink.gif


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 102 ✭✭OctaviaN


    Haha me got a 99 Fiesta.....omg it diesel. k
    were even so! smile.gif
    73k on the clock.
    Hey FB your real name isnt Sam Fisher? hes got one of them in class 9 and got 27th overall in the sligo special stages on the w/end. thaats ahead of some celicas!!!
    we got 8th in class 9 frown.gif
    I think ill enter the fiesta smile.gif


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,414 ✭✭✭✭Trojan


    Originally posted by Blitzkrieger:
    BMW - poor man's Porsche
    Blitz, the M5 really worried Porsche when it came out - because with a straight 4.9L (no turbos)[1] it pi$$ed all over their brand new 911 (which had 4 afaicr).

    BMW had a field day with that one, especially when Porsche added an extra 2 turbos in so that it would beat the beamer in tests - the bmw was a "normal" car smile.gif

    So, nope, cant agree with that statement! smile.gif

    Alo.

    1. I defer to Octavian's wisdom if I'm wrong here



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Excelsior


    yeah, those audi's drive like nissans. wink.gif
    i could just keep the alto and get a liscense....
    but i think i'll stick with my bicycle blitz. it is so much sexier to women that a ferarri. this bike, is so beautiful, you yourself would want to take me to bed. smile.gif

    It is so lonely here in my indecipherable tower of speech impedimency


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,660 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    I'd buy an M5 over the any Porshe but the turbo any day. I was talking purely in terms of image (BMW vs Porsche). The M5 is considered "the gentleman's" supercar and has a well deserved reputation. I just read the article and the reviewer picks the Ferrari but Nedell in a side column picks the Porsche cos it's cheaper rolleyes.gif He also comes up with the perfect solution for lottery winners : the M5 for everyday use and the Ferrari for special occaisions.

    Couldn't have put it better myself smile.gif

    Actually Ferrari don't consider the 360 a supercar - the 550 is supposed to be a supercar - but it actually handles very well. I've heard the ultra-wide tires can be a pain in the wet tho.


    Apparantly research has shown that women don't like men with flashy cars - they think men who are comfortable with modest cars are more likely to be considerate. That's why you always see ugly women in the best cars rolleyes.gif
    I've never understood that "people with big cars have small penises" thing. One day I'll be getting out of a big car with me size 14 shoes. What do you believe?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,660 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    who the hell came up with that!

    my left foot is slightly shorter and wider than my right so which do you go by? rolleyes.gif Bunch of nonsense imo smile.gif

    damn typos

    [This message has been edited by Blitzkrieger (edited 31-07-2000).]


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Excelsior


    its your feet's width in relation to their length that equates to male genetalia size actually.

    It is so lonely here in my indecipherable tower of speech impedimency


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Excelsior


    the only statistical relationship i have ever read about was width in relation to length. so no one came up with it. it was just there. sorry to offend.

    It is so lonely here in my indecipherable tower of speech impedimency


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