The Italian Job

commuterised · 30-06-2003 4:32pm #1

Back in the swinging sixties, Michael Caine is holding a big showbiz party
in his swanky new house.

Everyone who's anyone is there - top stars from the worlds of movies,music,
fashion and art.

There's the best wines that money can buy, oysters, champagne, Lennon and
McCartney are helping themselves at the bar, Jim Morrison and his band are
sitting on the couch singing "Light My Fire" and over in the corner,George
Peppard's getting very pally with Sophia Loren.

All's going really well until Jim Morrison decides he's bored out of his
skull and wants to go home for an early night curled up with a good book.

"Oi Jim," objects Michael Caine, "party's just got started.
How's about I get one of the ladies to take you into the spare bedroom for a
bit of the ol' how's yer father?"

"Fair play," nods Jim (well that's not his exact words, but you get the
gist), "as long as she does the rest of the band too."

"Not a problem, Jim," smiles Michael as he pulls a young dolly bird in close
and whispers some instruction in her ear.

Half an hour later, the young lass is just wiping her chin when in walks
Ringo Starr. "Alright luv?" he drones, "don't suppose you fancy extending
that service to me, do you?"

The young lass thinks about this for a second, then says "What the hell!"
and proceeds to unzip Ringo's fly and get to work.

Ringo's having a grand time, until, mere moments before the end, the door
flies open and Michael Caine bursts in. He grabs the woman by her hair and
slaps her hard across the face! "Wh-what was that for?" she whimpers.

"I told you," Caine snarls -

"You're only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off ..."