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Guide to the Counties

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  • 19-06-2003 7:18pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,228 ✭✭✭


    Cavan = filthy, ignorant hillbillies, puritanical papists.
    Hobbies: Discovering IRA ammo dumps and knitting blackbalcvavas.

    Kerry = stupid but loveable.
    Hobbies: Gaelic football, scraping pig feotus off their wellies and
    chain-smoking

    Wicklow north = sports car driving country snobs (Greystones,Enniskerry)
    Hobbies: Sticking their noses in the air and referring to themselves as “one”

    Wicklow south = sheep shaggers.
    Hobbies: Sitting in field with their
    neighbors and talking about the “banjaxed hydraulics on the JCB”,collecting thedole

    Dublin north = criminals, drug dealers and factory workers, easy women,unmarried mothers, skinheads and all-round examples of human waste.
    Hobbies: Heroin and watching serials numbers being filed off stolen BWM’s, doing hand-breakers.

    Dublin south = west Brits, snobs, rich, easy glamorous women.
    Hobbies: Depok Shropa. colonic irrigation and sleeping with their best friends spouse

    Limerick = violent, racist scum of the earth, plays rugby, knife-wielding prost1tutes.
    Hobbies: stabbing each other with screwdrivers and then complaining about their city’s bad reputation.

    Donegal = looks down on all-others, aloof.
    Hobbies: Turing their noses up at all and sundry

    Cork = jealous of Dubliners, highly-sexualized women.
    Hobbies: Standing at the side of the Motorway and
    making smug faces at the cars with Dublin plates

    Tipperary = beautiful pristene girls, but hard to get into bed but worth it if you can because that County does not have two different Ridings for nothing!
    Hobbies: Getting a flat in Dublin and losing their accents and hoping their parents do not find out.

    Meath = Dublin wannabe’s.
    Hobbies: Beating Dublin at GAA and hoping that one day somebody in Dublin actually noticing

    Galway City = sophisticated boggers could be mistaken for a South Dubliner, sexually adventurous, cultured and wealthy.
    Hobbies: Teaching sex acrobatics to foreign tourists, dropping acid, paying a million pounds for a three-bedroom suburban house and pretending it was a bargain.

    Kildare = creme de la creme.
    Hobbies: home of golf, football and horse racing racing.

    Mayo = Depressing, defeatist, negative, misery-laden losers, emigrates as soon as the umbilical chord is cut.
    Hobbies: Dropping a lighted cigarette on his mattress and then being burned alive in a Cricklewood boarding house so he can have his remains flown back to Knock Airport for burial.

    Louth = IRA supporters, smugglers and bandits, beautiful girls (Dundalk).
    Hobbies: Tearing trough Castleblaney at 125MPH trying to stop the boxes of cheap vodlka from falling out the window.

    Waterford = decent honest hard-workers generally good folks.
    Hobbies: Calling a strike

    Clare = fiddle playing charming simpletons and more recently, neo-nazi’s.
    Hobbies: Falling into pot-holes and being never heard from ever again

    Sligo = go-getters, strong sense of free enterprise, likes to make cash.
    Hobbies: get rich and b*llix to everything else

    Kilkenny = harmless innocent alcholics.
    Hobbies: Sending their only son to fashion college in Dublin and then wondering why he never brings girls home and why he is always looking in the Brown Thomas catalogue?

    Carlow = who cares?
    Hobbies: Move to Dublin and then best forgotten about

    Offaly = mad for playing sports and having fun, generally liked.
    Hobbies: To win a pub

    Longford = Gombeen men
    Hobbies: Legalizing bestiality

    Laois = the real boggers and proud of it generally held in high esteem by Dubliners.
    Hobbies: Living a honest life and collected EU development grants

    Westmeath = Mysterious boggers, cryptic.
    Hobbies: Try unsuccessfully, to get noticed

    Wexford = selling their “home-grown” organic fruit (bought at supermarket that morning) at the side of the road in summer and ripping-off gullible
    Dubliners out for a drive in the country.
    Hobbies: Ripping off tourists is more than enough

    Monaghan = angry people
    Hobbies = being angry


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 553 ✭✭✭irishman_abroad


    Kildare = creme de la creme.

    Hobbies: home of golf, football and horse racing racing.

    Wonder where youre from lol........


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,327 ✭✭✭NeoSlicerZ


    indeed IM


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,685 ✭✭✭✭BlitzKrieg


    Tipperary = beautiful pristene girls, but hard to get into bed but worth it if you can because that County does not have two different Ridings for nothing!
    Hobbies: Getting a flat in Dublin and losing their accents and hoping their parents do not find out.



    -Glad tipp got away with little harrasement.

    Very proud of my county i am. And the accent comment it true. I've lost mine.




    I think from my experiance gimps should be slipped somewhere in there for kildare...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 534 ✭✭✭bozzie


    Wexford = selling their “home-grown” organic fruit (bought at supermarket that morning) at the side of the road in summer and ripping-off gullible
    Dubliners out for a drive in the country.
    Hobbies: Ripping off tourists is more than enough

    yer damn right tis great fun to rip off ye other people with "fresh" fruit


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,274 ✭✭✭de5p0i1er


    LOL, there are some good ones in there. :D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,105 ✭✭✭Tyrrial


    Monaghan = angry people
    Hobbies = being angry

    it's so true it hurts


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,888 ✭✭✭nanook


    and what happened to leitrim

    ahem.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,472 ✭✭✭Sposs


    Kildare = creme de la creme.


    So True :)


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