Men and the such like

LegacyUser

right - boyfriend of two years and live in in new home says ;i'm not sure'. I get clingly really clingy. He says its over - but then rings me twice - very cool, cold =


Is it over?

seamus

Originally posted by guest 73
live in in new home says ;i'm not sure'.

No idea what you're saying here.

Clarify, and maybe we can help

wee_lady

hmmm think i know wot ur sayin!

if i read that rite, i fink u should ask him straight out where u stand and if he says it's over, ask him to please stop contacting u!
(that's wot id prob do!!)

how long are/where u together?

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

bug

right, if I'm interpreting this correctly then your going out with this bloke two years and have just got a new gaff with him?
He says he's not sure its what he wants, f**Ks off, and then rings you after? er...right?
A mate of mine did exactly the same thing, (hope we're not talking about the same person), I've know him since I was kid, and although he's alot of fun, he still is that..a kid.
Truth is alot of blokes get cold feet in relationships, more so than women IMO, especially if they're in their 20's , we are (girls included) conditioned to get a job, then next step,a house, and generally we're not emotional ready for it, It was ok say, in the 1950's when society was different and there wasn't alot else to do/alot offered.
In my mates case he thought that he was on the first rung of the property ladder....it'll be great I'll have my own place with the girlfriend etc.. I warned him against it and suggested that he rent with his girlfriend for a while to see how they'd get on..but he went for it and bought the house..thing is after the the initial novelty wore off, she began to get lonely in the house, as she came from a busy family home and he was working alot. People don't think of these things.
Anyways, my advice, sell up, keep in with the boyfriend, move home for a while, then rent for a year or two and see how you feel about buying property later in the future, chances are your property may have gone up slightly in value depending on where it is and you may make a few grand that you could use towards rent, buy later and the property market may collapse. But don't go mad at him, he probably just got cold feet, and is a bit foolish, however if he's over 30 get rid, he's never gonna grow up.

wee_lady

right - boyfriend of two years

how long are/where u together?

hows stupid do i feel now?!!!

The Corinthian

Originally posted by bug
however if he's over 30 get rid, he's never gonna grow up.

Thats a very ageist comment...

I'm sure there's hope for us thirtysomething commitment-phobes too.

Probably. Maybe.

Thanks bug, now you've depressed me

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

fisty

Kick him to the curb Girlfriend,
I'm talking DOWNTOWN!

jammy_dodger

Yeah i know how HE feels, When a girl gets 'clingy' when things are going downhill, It just makes a bad situation worse, for both parties involved, Your felling you don't want to loose him and he's feeling he can't get rid of you. Im not trying to be a pr1ck. But from my experience, its true.

Its probably over, no point in going on if your both uncomfortable with the relationship.
I think a quiet, polite conversation, face to face, saying what you want, tell him you think its over. See how he reacts. If he still wants to continue the relationship he'll open up for discussion and try and salvage it, or If he dos'nt want to see you anymore, he'll agree with you and you'll go your separate ways.

:rolleyes:

bug

sorry ****,Merc.

I didn't mean that just because you reach your 30's you should be commited, no not at all, if your single and fancy free at 50, fair dues.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by bug
sorry ****,Merc.

I didn't mean that just because you reach your 30's you should be commited, no not at all, if your single and fancy free at 50, fair dues.

its good to have your blessing.

i heard the worlds over 30's collective sigh of relief when you told them all they were ok until 50.

bug

its good to have your blessing. i heard the worlds over 30's collective sigh of relief when you told them all they were ok until 50.

I'm glad it gives you comfort to have my blessing WWman.
I love the way you've taken my post so literally just so that you could show the might of your sarcastic wit

<edit> woops:D <edit>

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by bug
I'm glad it gives you comfort to have my blessing WWman.
I love the way you've taken my post so literally just so that you could show the might of your sarcastic wit

no problemo.

maybe i should put a smilie in to all my posts to show humour in future so all the sensitive people dont think im having a go at them...

bug

/I like my sensitive side, it enables me to give constructive advice.


It's be nice if the original poster could tell us how she is getting on and a few more details on the situation.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by bug
I didn't mean that just because you reach your 30's you should be commited, no not at all, if your single and fancy free at 50, fair dues.

In fairness, the implication you made was one of 'if the guy is not ready for commitment at 30, he never will be'.

Whether this may be the case or not (and I’ve given this some thought in recent months) is almost of secondary importance to the perception in (some) women that it is the case.

Other than being a little depressing for an undecided bachelor like myself, I’m not entirely sure if it says more about men over thirty or the women who watch them.

bug

In fairness, the implication you made was one of 'if the guy is not ready for commitment at 30, he never will be'.

If you take the original poster's comments, this guy whatever age he is (we dont have the details), has already make a commitment to this girl buy buying a house with her. Buying a house with a partner IMO is a commitment, unless of course it's been previously agreed that is for financial investment and not to further the relationship. The commitment has already been made to the relationship IMO, in this particular case.
Now, many people (regardless of age) dont make any commitment to a relationship and make their partner aware of this. which is fine when both parties agree. Indeed many people choose not to commit, and dont have one particular partner, fine also.

I agree that people of any age can change their belief systems. I think however its more likely, possibly, that an adult in his/her 30's/40's/50's..etc would be more set in their outlook on life than an adult in his/her 20's for example. Following from that opinion, and the original poster's situation. I think that someone entering into a commitment situation, should be, I would expect, generally more aware of the implications of a relationship commitment at an older age, than say a guy for example in his 20's?

Anway, possibly, likely but not never ready.

The Corinthian

You mean I'm doomed to die alone in a house full of cats.

*sniff*

bug

You mean I'm doomed to die alone in a house full of cats.

cats are great companions, possibly better than the human kind.:D

as an aside IMO anyone who examines and questions the world around them as well as themselves, changes and grows, they make the best companions.

Gordon

Originally posted by The Corinthian
You mean I'm doomed to die alone in a house full of cats.

*sniff*

If those cats are foxy ladies then yes. And I'm not jealous of you at all for that.

Nevyn

Originally posted by The Corinthian
You mean I'm doomed to die alone in a house full of cats.

*sniff*

could be worse you could end up living with Merc as Boards.ie 's very own Odd couple.

Ah but who is Jack and who is
Walter ?