I don't know what to do

LegacyUser

I was recently talking to a guy i know on MSN and the conversation turned to a mutual friend. It was then let slip (because he thought i already knew) that our mutual friend is dying and could be gone in a few months.

I believe what he says and i know he wouldn't lie to me about something like this. He mentioned that it was some kind of blood disease/condition but he didn't know exactly what it was. I already knew that my friend has had problems with his blood but i had no idea it was this serious.

My point is that the guy who's dying is a good friend of mine but i wasn't told by him so he obviously doesn't think i shold know, but i'm not exactly sure how i should approach this situation now that i do know. Atm i'm just at a loss for words to express how i feel about it.

any advice?
please?

Karl Hungus

Let it alone...

Chances are, he doesn't want a lot of people to know. So don't let on that you know, and just be a good friend. Dont ruin a friendship over it. Perhaps he will tell you himself after a while? But let him do it in his own time, dont drop hints or anything.

Beruthiel

but i'm not exactly sure how i should approach this situation now that i do know

AW is correct, leave it.
I’m guessing that he just wants to carry on as normal as he possibly can under such circumstances, everyone knowing would change everything for him. Letting him know that you know changes everything between you – perhaps he didn’t want you to know yet because he values a normal friendship at this point, give him that, it is the best and kindest thing you can do for him, and that’s what you want isn’t it?
I understand that you need to express how you feel, so do it here and if you have another friend who does not know your sick one, talk to them.

Kali

I won't belittle anything he's said, but are you sure he's dying and it hasn't been taken out of context slightly?

My best friend had a serious problem a few years back with his immune system and it somehow got out that he was on his last legs (when it turned out it was just a very rare and serious, yet curable affliction)... he hadn't told anyone but me the truth.. yet somehow these rumors started.

If you don't know him too well then do as AW said, but theres absolutely no way in hell I could stand aside if it was a real good friend, and I can't believe the advice I'm reading in that vein.
Its worse trying to hide that you know.. things will be different regardless between you, get it out in the open.

ToxicPaddy

Best leave it be..

A guy I went to school with got Leukemia (sp?) but told no one, except the teachers, principal etc, on the basis that he didnt want people to treat him differently, as it happens he got the treatment on time and got over it..

But due to the fact that no one knew, things carried on as normal, right up until he left for the serious treatment, chemo (sp?) etc, he was as happy as could be expected and had as normal a life as could be expected..

Granted, there were people who were a bit pissed off that he didnt tell anyone about it, but his only reason was that he didnt know how bad this was at that particular time and if he wasnt gonna make it through, he just wanted a normal life for as long as he could...

Things like this have a way of even making your closest friends and family start treating you differently and as it stands, he's probably still trying to face the fact that he might be dying.

The last thing someone wants when they are facing that, is to start losing friends and people treating them differently, as these are the people they rely on to help get them through things like this and not for them to remind him everyday of it as if he needs another reminder..

hedgetrimmer

I echo the let-it-alone thrust of what has been said. Remember, his dying is *his* issue to deal with as he sees fit, and for him to tell who and when as appropriate. I think if you let him know that you know, that it would be unfair to him. Just my 2c

DriftingRain

I don't think I am any person to tell another what to do. If I found something out like that about my friend. I would just be the best friend possible and let him/her tell me. To be remembered as the best friend a mate could have is a great honor. He will eventually tell you when the time is right. Just forget that you know ,if you can, and just be a great friend.