The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

Jazzy · 28-05-2009 03:50AM

hes ALWAYS right.

i refuse tho think VC was a good game, cos yahtzee said so. retr0 likes it too much to take him seriously. betcha panzer dragoon retr0 was a load of a$s too!

Retr0gamer · 28-05-2009 10:15AM

I will not rise to these trolls!

Cuddlesworth · 28-05-2009 01:11PM

Retr0gamer wrote: »

I will not rise to these trolls!

/me looks at retrogamers pants.... bit too late there

Retr0gamer · 28-05-2009 02:15PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

/me looks at retrogamers pants.... bit too late there

Tell ur ma to stop rubbing me there then :P

Mr E · 28-05-2009 04:07PM

Christ lads, get a room.

BlitzKrieg · 03-06-2009 06:44PM

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/759-Bionic-Commando

Bionic commando this week.

i wonder if the letter at the end was sarcasm or not...

Mr E · 03-06-2009 07:34PM

I'd say it was real... wouldn't be surprised.

Good review. Loved the "Loading" gag, very funny.

Retr0gamer · 03-06-2009 08:06PM

Well his first mistake was playing the PS3 version. Despite the internal hard disk load times on the PS3 are astronomically slow for every game I've played and the blu-ray drive being so slow to stream information doesn't help. Loading on the 360 version is very nippy.

As for Bionic Commando it's really flawed but I'm having loads of fun playing it. The story is utter rubbish but it gives it a very 80's feel which i think the developers were looking for.

MooseJam · 03-06-2009 09:18PM

That was funny, I always wondered if the developers watch his reviews, I used to think pepsi was yuck but have found a recent fondness for pepsi max it's quite nice and you get 50% extra free

L31mr0d · 03-06-2009 10:52PM

that was hilarious... you really need to of played the game though to understand his confusion over the plot twist... it really is retarded.

This will spoil it, but read on if you never plan on playing the game

Spoiler

BC: Where's my fvcking wife? Army Dude: You want your wife? why she's been with you all along. Your Bionic Arm is your wife, we combined her with it

I. kid. you. not.

But like retr0 said, the game is fun. The swing mechanics are no PoP:TTT, but they do effectively give the feel of having a 500 lb car winch on your arm.

Also, I played the PS3 version and didn't notice the loading screens that much. I'd say they where maybe 10 seconds long at most.

The language was a bit weird, it felt really out of place in parts. There was one bit when I was fighting this boss called the "Mohole" and I died a couple of times, and the voice of the guy who previously said "you'll have you fight it", suddenly said instead "you're going to have to fvck it"... I guess it was an easter egg or something, poking fun at the fact the boss literally looks like a giant dildo.

Retr0gamer · 03-06-2009 11:31PM

I was hoping for more silly humour in the game. Bionic Commando Rearmed had me laughing out loud on occasions with the humour like the commander calling the private a nerd all the time and nathan being such a cocky dick. The hacked conversations are funny at times but I was hoping the humour would spill over into the main story more.

L31mr0d · 04-06-2009 05:35PM

Retr0gamer wrote: »

I was hoping for more silly humour in the game.

Yeah in parts I thought they where purposely trying to be 80's camp, but then they'd switch to being serious. Not near enough joking around. In comparison, I loved the banter between the characters in the new PoP

Also mentioned in the ZP review, was another weird thing. It was like the Commander of this operation would call up Bionic Commando just to insult him... WHY??? I mean he's their only guy in the field trying to stop this terrorist plot, why piss him off... and for no reason either?

Mr E · 10-06-2009 05:10PM

inFamous this week....

cherryghost · 10-06-2009 05:20PM

lol. funny this week. i had played a bit of it, i liked what i played though.

pixelburp · 10-06-2009 07:38PM

cherryghost wrote: »

lol. funny this week. i had played a bit of it, i liked what i played though.

Funny stuff this week! Though you would think that as a games designer himself Yahtzee would realise that moral grey areas are hard to code & this is why you don't see many of them

Mr E · 10-06-2009 07:48PM

Hmmm..... I knew nothing about inFamous before this review, and ...er... I still know nothing.

Retr0gamer · 10-06-2009 09:14PM

I liked the mars bar and end lines

I'm kind of burnt out on sand box games totally failing to deliver unless they are called Fallout 3. Which brings me on to the karma choices becuase I think Fallout 3 was the only game to succeed in thsi regard on two occassions. The Oasis mission gave you multiple options to take but none of them were either turly good or evil but very amniguous. Also the Pitt gave you a moral dilemma and despite me playing as a good character I just couldn't do what was asked of me in the moral choice and neither was black or white either.

Grayditch · 10-06-2009 10:40PM

I didn't know what he would make of InFamous. I'm glad he enjoyed the game. I did too.

pixelburp · 10-06-2009 11:34PM

Retr0gamer wrote: »

I liked the mars bar and end lines

I'm kind of burnt out on sand box games totally failing to deliver unless they are called Fallout 3. Which brings me on to the karma choices becuase I think Fallout 3 was the only game to succeed in thsi regard on two occassions. The Oasis mission gave you multiple options to take but none of them were either turly good or evil but very amniguous. Also the Pitt gave you a moral dilemma and despite me playing as a good character I just couldn't do what was asked of me in the moral choice and neither was black or white either.

Yeah but Fallout 3 cheats in that none of your choices have any effect on the rest of the Wasteland; they're all very self-contained. No matter what you choose in Oasis, the end result has no baring on the rest of the DC capital landscape (even though it really should). The only sandbox-wide choice (Blowing up Megaton or not) was very much a black and white scenario.

Crucifix · 11-06-2009 12:43PM

I was expecting him to get completely hung up on the moral choices, nice to see he liked the game. The choices in Infamous are totally bland, but the effects (power upgrades, city) are neat.

And of course it's a really great game overall.

pixelburp · 17-06-2009 05:03PM

The Second Annual E3 Hype Massacre:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/779-The-Second-Annual-E3-Hype-Massacre

Jack Sheehan · 17-06-2009 05:24PM

Aughghughguhghhhuhghghughhghgh.

My thoughts exactly.

Mr E · 17-06-2009 10:29PM

Funniest in a long long long time, very good.
Probably being a bit harsh on some games he hasn't played yet, but maybe prophetic?

pixelburp · 18-06-2009 12:58AM

Mr E wrote: »

Funniest in a long long long time, very good.
Probably being a bit harsh on some games he hasn't played yet, but maybe prophetic?

Naw he is dead on the money; surely as seasoned gamers we should know by now that 90% of the E3 bullsh*t is just that, pure marketing, weapons-grade baloneyium. Getting our hopes up that - say for instance - Alan Wake is going to be the next big thing is folly in the extreme.

Retr0gamer · 18-06-2009 01:38AM

Kind of have to agree with him. There really wasn't all thay much to get excited at at E3. It was mostly sequels and although some looked good it was more of the same. Only two games I'm genuinely excited about are Bayonetta and the last guardian. Anything else I'll hold out or know will be disappointing (yes you assassins creed 2).

Jazzy · 18-06-2009 02:09AM

Retr0gamer wrote: »

Anything else I'll hold out or know will be disappointing (yes you assassins creed 2).

but but but but it will have mAdz gphX!

yeah think yahtzee hit the nail on the head. dont think either motion sensor gimmicks will really work on the ps3 / 360.

and the new metroid is a prequel.... i f**kin hate prequels. I DONT CARE HOW SAMUS GOT HER ROBOT SUIT I JUST WANT MORE STUFF TO BLOW UP IN IT

Jip · 18-06-2009 10:50AM

Something I've been wondering about for a while, it's probably been explained in one of his vids before and I just forgot but who is the guys who's face he uses in alot of the vids ?

Burgo · 18-06-2009 10:59AM

Jip wrote: »

Something I've been wondering about for a while, it's probably been explained in one of his vids before and I just forgot but who is the guys who's face he uses in alot of the vids ?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Molyneux

L31mr0d · 18-06-2009 11:10AM

Burgo wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Molyneux

yeah he also uses another one frequently... it looks like the mugshot of a serial killer, but I can't put my finger on where I recognise it from.

Jip · 18-06-2009 11:16AM

Yeah, it's the other guy who looks like a nut, not Molyneux.

The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

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