Internet dating? Anyone try it?

oreilly2

Folks i'd like to get your opinion on arranged dating through the web, match.com and the like.
First off better explain myself, I'm 21 last serious relationship (of 2 years) ended two years ago and since then i've had a lot of fun but nothing like what i had before that.
Ive met lots of women, this year i 'dated' three women for about 6 weeks but each of those fizzled out.
I'm probably too young to be saying im sick of the nightclub scene but i am, was out last weekend had a bit to drink, enjoyed looking at the ladies but I just couldnt be bothered trying it on with someone only to find out 15 minutes later that she has a boyfriend.
Anyhow, I want a girlfriend, not a one night stand every few weeks and im giving serious consideration to internet dating.
Am I too young at 21?
Looking at it logically I see there are an awful lot of positives, judging by some of the stuff ive read people seem to come up with a list of criteria and find their ideal partner!
My head is telling me to try it, but for some reason i figure there is some sort of stigma attached to it..Do normal people use these services?!
Also how anonymous can one be?..
Lets be honest this is a small town and its the sort of thing i would be absolutely wripped to pieces about if my friends found out about...what have your experiences been.
Ladies, any of you try it? How do you find it?
What are the rules of internet dating?
Basically, I've done the whole nightclub thing and the sort of women ive met may have been attractive but definitely not the type I would bring home to the mammy and this seems to be a means to meeting like-minded people.
Clubs and societies, yes i've done that also and yes it was fairly enjoyable but you cant approach a society outing like a horney little git looking for an attractive woman.
Anyone meet a boyfriend or girlfriend through the online dating?
Which are the best and most anonymous online ones?
Honestly, is it a bit sad for a goodlooking 21 year old to be contemplating this?

Jonny Arson

Good topic. This has been something on my mind lately. Basically I'm 19, nothing ever happens for me with women and I've been thinking about internet dating lately in the hope that I finally get some luck (no not that type of luck!)

On one hand I say why not because I'd meet or date someone who's in a similar position to me and may be more likely to find the right one.
On the other I'm still only 19, should be out there in clubs trying to pull the ladies and basically have a rockin' time. In other words finding someone through more natural environments like sports or through friends.

snorlax

the trouble is you really don't know what your getting with internet dating, the person could be lying and if you've ever gone to one of the boards beers you may discover that people are often different in person then they are online.

o'reilly and Zane the only thing i can say is enjoy being young and having fun, finding someone decent is often a challenge but worth it in the end, why would you want a really "serious" relationship, your so young?! and the probability is your not going to end up marrying them.

iv dated loads of guys for brief periods only to discover they weren't my type, but now i'v a better idea now of what id like in a guy.
iv also seen many of my friends in serious relationships and they are almost afraid of what would happen if they were back out on the dating scene (these are 20 year olds btw).

someone i know hooked up with someone from the internet only to discover they already had a gf and was just using the site to get a bit on the side.

Waltons

I've done it! We've been going out for a year and a half now

jonny68

Never actually signed up to an agency myself although i did actually meet my last bird online (a message board believe it or not) and we ended up going out for about a year and 3 months so id say go for it if your looking to have a relationship.

You could be going out on the pull every weekend without any success whereas you could meet a bird (or if your a bird a bloke) online,strike up a relationship,the trickiest part is meeting for the first time,even though you prepare yourself for it most people are nervous,i certainly was the first time i met my ex but after a few beers i was grand..good luck to you anyway

ando

there's nothing wrong with it, I tried it once but it was a complete failure.. ie, the girl told me she was 'normal size' but when I finally met up with her she turned out to be a whale :eek: .... But I wouldnt be ashamed of using the dating site, its just another way of meeting girls

Faye

Internet dating is just another tool; it’s like the crossroads dancing of the 2000s! It’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, in my opinion.

I have Internet dated from time to time. I have a daughter and it is not always easy to get out and meet people. With one god-awful exception, the three men I met were exactly how I imagined them to be.
Like everything, the trick is to be as honest as possible from day one. Don’t rush out to meet the first woman/man who takes your fancy – generally these are the ones with the most em practice! Take your time, get to know someone first, establish common interests. I have always been asked for a photo and generally have forwarded one if I feel I want to meet the person. I would suggest meeting in a public place and letting someone know of your plans – probably more important for women than men perhaps. There will always be those who want to pull the wool over your eyes but then that happens even with the more conventional dating methods.

Trust your instincts. Go for it, at least it will be a fun night out with someone with whom you can converse.

nesf

I've never done internet dating. I don't however view it in a bad light.

Tbh, in my experience, people can be just as dishonest in real life. How do you know the person you are talking to actually has the job they claim to have or the lifestyle/interests they proclaim to enjoy?

There's as much bull**** talked in pubs and clubs as there is online. The same thing will protect you from it in both. A bit of common sense.

snorlax

it's easier to bluff if your behind a computor screen and can think more about what your going to post then it is when your face to face with someone.

i'm not for or against it, i just think you have to be very careful especially if your a girl.

nesf

snorlax wrote:

it's easier to bluff if your behind a computor screen and can think more about what your going to post then it is when your face to face with someone.

i'm not for or against it, i just think you have to be very careful especially if your a girl.

Well the golden rule of only meeting them at first in a public place is defintely something I'd stress for everyone, especially women.

If after meeting them a few times in person you decide to meet them in private then at least you've had a chance to get to know them a bit.

snorlax

it's all a game of luck wether you meet someone your suited to or not.

it's you scroll down some of these websites some people seem to be looking for one night stands(or f*ckbuddies), you can see photos of young girls with their boobs hanging everywhere, i could just imagine all the potential wierdos that that could attract.

what website did you use Waltons?

DawnMc

You're writing all the stuff I think!!!
No point in pussy footing around, internet dating DOES have a stigma attached to it and it's seen as the very desperate of measures!
I think you should just go about your buisness and you never know who might be around the next corner

stag39

i've met someone online... its a great way to know one another if both partys are honest...will be heading over to spain to meet her soon..and before you say it yes i do know what she looks like!!! via webcam..as does she, me..

in the club scene i was always too shy... met my previous girlfriend of 15 months at my mothers house at my sisters party..

Waltons

snorlax wrote:

it's all a game of luck wether you meet someone your suited to or not.

it's you scroll down some of these websites some people seem to be looking for one night stands(or f*ckbuddies), you can see photos of young girls with their boobs hanging everywhere, i could just imagine all the potential wierdos that that could attract.

what website did you use Waltons?

I was actually on Faceparty. Awful kip most of the time and there are an awful lot of **** on it (I've seen some of the messages that some of the guys have sent my girlfriend) but that's where we met and I don't regret it one bit!

I would agree that it's easy to bluff behind a computer screen but it's pretty easily done in a pub or club too. You need to keep your wits around you to sort the bad out from the good and I won't deny that I had a few crappy experiences but I doubt I would've found someone great the first time in a club or whatever either. It will always be, to a certain extent, the luck of the draw.
I'd say give it a shot anyway!

[Jackass]

I often talk to people on OKCupid...I don't think I would class it as a "dating site", but it's cool, very relaxed atmosphere, I have talked to really cool peeple from Dublin and all around the world, and they all seem very normal, and a lot of the time great fun people ...

I think there is a stigma attached to it...but why? I think people reckon it's full of desperate/ugly/weird people...or all 3....but from my experience, there are some really cool people on that site.

But tbh, what difference does it make where you meet somebody? as long as they are someone you really like and get along with, does it matter if you met them through a friend, in a club or on the internet?

It's something I'd certainly have an open mind towards.

As a matter of interest...what free sights like that are there out there??

MrJoeSoap

I've met a girl on MySpace, purely through chance and we've been sending very detailed and long e-mails for ages. Its a really great way to get to know someone before actually "dating".

Pighead

In terms of technology, Pighead can say that it is probably 10 times more difficult to find “the one” now because most people think Maybefriends.com or whatever internet dating service will find them what they need. People travel to other counties just to meet that person that they were all “LOL, ROFL, LMAO!” with…and it’s sad. It’s a sickening thing to think that people are that desperate to find “the one” that they would travel so far. What happened to the bars? What happened to coincidence? What happened to dipping the pen in company ink? Are we really that sad that we have to base our relationships off of text messages and PM's
It just seems to me that dating services do it backwards - you find the mate and hope you match. I'd rather be around ladies who hold my interests and by chance one of them clicks with me. That's how I met miss piggy.

padser

in fairness its all very well to say internet dating is fine and acceptable but lets be fair about it......such a high proportion of ppl using it are not complete wierdo's i dont tink its worth it at all. surely the best way to meet ppl is through social settings and friends. online is seriously dodgey and you havnt a clue what you r getting

Firewalkwithme

I met my fiance through an internet dating site. I wasn't looking for a long term relationship at that time as I had just come out of one so TBH I was just out for a good time. However, 3 years later we are still going strong with a baby boy on the way in December I have to admit though that we knew what some peoples reaction would be when we told them that we met that way so we said that we met in town one night. I think most people knew we may not have been telling the truth about that but they were polite enough to respect our privacy and not push the issue any further - after all, what does it really matter how two people meet if they are happy together? At this stage I wouldn't mind if everyone knew how we met but it's not something that tends to come up in conversation much.

To sum up, I would say that yes, there is a stigma attached to it but only in some peoples eyes. Your own happiness is far more important than what some narrow minded people may think. If you meet the right person, which several people on this thread appear to have done, then that won't matter to you anymore. It's their problem - not yours.

Firewalkwithme

padser wrote:

.....such a high proportion of ppl using it are not complete wierdo's i dont tink its worth it at all.

So you would only be interested in dating complete wierdo's?

Hobbes

Online is the same as offline meeting. The only difference is a bouncer tends to stop the ones that *look* dodgy at the nightclub door.

TBH I don't think anyone in this world is somehow not weird in some way or another.

It’s a sickening thing to think that people are that desperate to find “the one” that they would travel so far.

Why? I don't see a difference here tbh.

The only thing that probably catches people out with regards to internet dating is that when your reading text you tend to portray them in a way you like (which rarely reflects reality). With the influx of webcams/voice comms this is disappearing.

Dublin7

Met my partner on internet dating sites and we've been together for a year and a half.
But tbh it is much easier for people to lie on such sites and I also met lots of weirdos, but in general it was good fun getting to know lots of different people.

I must also say that thanks to internet dating/friend sites I got to do lots of things I would never been offered to do. And lots of people I met years ago on the internet are now amongst my best friends. It is stupid to say but it changed my life in a way. However genuine/interesting people are quite rare and you would need a lot of time to find them.

I don't consider myself as a weirdo as I was still pulling in pubs/clubs, just used it during the week !

Pighead

Hobbes wrote:

Why? I don't see a difference here tbh.

The only thing that probably catches people out with regards to internet dating is that when your reading text you tend to portray them in a way you like (which rarely reflects reality). With the influx of webcams/voice comms this is disappearing.

Ah come on Hobbes buddy,surely you'll agree with me that a high percentage of online daters reek of desperation,some of these people continuously try online dating for months and years on end and they get depressed when they haven't yet found someone to marry. Who thinks that dating works like this, that you set aside a year of your life, find someone, marry him, and then voila! It's done. These people are setting themselves up for some serious disappointment, because even if they finds that magical being "The One", they will find that their work isn't done. You know, relationships take work, blady blah blah blah blah.

bugger,looks like Hobbes has just got banned,i was looking forward to an intellectual meeting of minds.
Unban Hobbes!

maggz

A few years ago I met a few guys online in chat rooms. Had a few scary experiences - went to meet one guy who had told me he was the same age as me. When he came to meet me he was a horrible old guy, walked up to me and said "be careful who you chat to on the internet" then he walked off!!!
Had a couple of weird experiences, but also met a lot of nice guys. To be honest after a while I decided to give it up, as I could get myself into a really dangerous situation. Saying that I was in my late teens at the time and probably quite naive.

garypope

i've been on a few dates.
met them on okcupid.com.
its a cool site, but a complete sausagefest.

i don't think i could go out with someone i met online...
i dunno. it just screams "desperate" to people.

Tar.Aldarion

you never know,if they stalked me enough...anything could happen (:

shakaman

Well I hate to put a dampner on it all but I had about 6/7 dates while I was living in London and while the majority of them were positive I had one horror show.

Had been chattin to this girl online for a while, v hot and seemed nice (she was 31 so I thought she'd be pretty mature) and arranged to meet up. So we arranged to meet at 8 and in she comes at 8.45.....luckily the footie wason the box in the pub. I thought she seemed pretty hyper and when she explained the reason she was late I knew why - she was after sinking a bottle of wine.

Anyway things went ok in the pub so she suggested we hit a club, i thought what the hell no point in getitn half pis'ed so on we went. On the way out we had a snog and continued on our merry way, unfortunately it was down hill from here.

In the queue I got chattin to this Nigerian geezer in the queue in front of me, he was dead sound and she got chattin to her two friends. After about 10mins 'I heard her saying 'if you one of you f'ckers looks down my top once more I'll call the cops and screw you for harassment'! Now in fairness to the lads she was wearin a low cut top and she was well endowed...I turned around and said sorry lads she just has a bit too much on board.....to which she said 'I don't have f'ckin enough thanks very much'. So I let that one fly.

In the club then things were gettin a bit heavy, she was straddled on legs and we were kissing and there were four girls maybe 18/19 staring at us...in fairness it was like a car accident her @rse to the world, you had to look at it! She caught them looking at us and she turned around and said 'look here you f'in bitches this is my fella sos top staring at him or I'll beat ye'!

So I took her up to the bar and said 'Look pauline just a friendly piece of advice either cool down on the saucin or take the aggression down a notch'.....to which she replied 'listen I don't need to be f'in told how to conduct a relationship by a kid'! I was 23 at the time!!!!!

Fair enough if you're busy with work etc but word to the wise, these people are single and online for a reason, they can't pull anywhere else and a PC can be pretty good shield to the real person.

[Jackass]

padser wrote:

such a high proportion of ppl using it are not complete wierdo's i dont tink its worth it at all. surely the best way to meet ppl is through social settings and friends. online is seriously dodgey and you havnt a clue what you r getting

Yes, the internet is full of weirdo's...are you a weirdo?

It's a good thing they do backround checks at the doors of nightclubs, pubs cafes and parks....we wouldn't want the weirdo's getting in their too...:rolleyes:

Pighead wrote:

In terms of technology, Pighead can say that it is probably 10 times more difficult to find “the one” now because most people think Maybefriends.com or whatever internet dating service will find them what they need. People travel to other counties just to meet that person that they were all “LOL, ROFL, LMAO!” with…and it’s sad. It’s a sickening thing to think that people are that desperate to find “the one” that they would travel so far. What happened to the bars? What happened to coincidence? What happened to dipping the pen in company ink? Are we really that sad that we have to base our relationships off of text messages and PM's
It just seems to me that dating services do it backwards - you find the mate and hope you match. I'd rather be around ladies who hold my interests and by chance one of them clicks with me. That's how I met miss piggy.

I don't think it's desperate tbh, get with the times dude Lots of people chat and have a laugh with eachother on the internet...you're doing it right now! So why shouldn't romance come out of it if two people really get on? There's no harm in that...

If you talk to someone for a couple of months on the internet, by the time you meet them in a pub for example, you'll know them a lot better than you would meeting any other stranger in a pub...

jrey1981

I started chatting to a girl through a dating site connected with a newspaper. She sent a photo of herself and then got all weird on me taking a really critical tone about something I said when telling her about myself.

So I thought bugger this and stopped emailing her.

She then googled my email address, got my phone number from my website and started calling and texting me.

Finally she sent me an email saying she was sorry and that she had tried to get my address and wanted to come and see me and all this kind of crap.

In the end I had to send her a polite email telling her to leave me alone and she did.

Obviously there are going to be a few nutters on these sites, but no more than will be in a pub or a club, so like anything, you use your common sense and take your chances. The site I use from time to time has a lot of interesting and gorgeous girls on it...

CathyMoran

I tried internet dating once-I had just come out of a long term relationship and did not have a clue about dating as I had been in the relationship so long. The guy that I met was absolutely wonderful, he was different to the normal type of guy that I would go for but he was one of the best things that has ever happened to me...it even turned out that we only lived 15 minutes walk away when we were kids...

You have to take precautions when using the net, personally, I think that I was very lucky with the guy that I met. I was not looking for love but the person that I met bowled me over totally. We are not still together but he is still a friend and I am thankful that I finally met him after having almost crossed paths so many times in the past.

Plastic Scouser

My sister and my best friend (both girls in their mid-twenties) met their partners through an internet dating site (love at lycos I think). They both had a lot of fun dating, managed to avoid any weirdos, and are now in happy long-term relationships with lovely 'normal' guys!

So, it can definitely be a success...the only downside seems to be that they're a bit embarrassed to tell people where they met!