I think I might like trans

high heels

I did look it up online and read about trannie chasers and it made them out that its just about sex and thats it, They go to trannie clubs to get a shag.. and it put me off even looking at it again online or going out to try find a girl.. but looking at a few threads here today got me back to thinking I should try again.

So first things first maybe, I'm a guy and I like trans girls I dont know why.
Im also going to say the famous words 'I don't think I'm gay' But I must be! Its weird Im just not attracted to Guys yet I want to go out with a trans girl.. I also think I could live with that they dress like guys a lot of the time..

Anyway would anyone have any info for me? To the trans people of the forum what would your opinion on it? Do you have Boyfriends? Where did you find them?

Or am I just a gay guy who should come out and get a man..

baby and crumble

Ok, first off- I have a feeling that this



might be in order.

BUT benefit of the doub and all that.

1) Trans girls are not guys. therefore you aren't gay.

2) Trans girls, and trans men are not 'trannies'. That term is pretty offensive, from my knowledge on the subject.

3) Actually, yeah, facepalm is in order.

Azure_sky

If you like a transsexual despite them having a penis you're straight. If you like a transsexual because they have a penis then you're on the bi-sexual sprectrum, albeit veering towards the straight end. Read up on primary sex characteristics vs secondary sex characteristics.
A transsexuals orientation can be anything. Some like natal girls, others fellow transgirls, others men, some are bi sexual and some are a-sexual.
There is a place for people you might like called trannie haven. Never been there myself.

deirdre_dub

high heels wrote: »

I'm a guy and I like trans girls I dont know why.

Or maybe you do know why but can't admit to it.

Here's a simple question - what is it about trans girls that is different to cis girls that you find particularly attractive about the former?

Im also going to say the famous words 'I don't think I'm gay' But I must be! Its weird Im just not attracted to Guys yet I want to go out with a trans girl.. I also think I could live with that they dress like guys a lot of the time..

Hmmm - looks like you are actually looking for a transvestite, and not a transsexual.

Anyway would anyone have any info for me? To the trans people of the forum what would your opinion on it?

First of all, I do not believe I'm on your menu. You say that you are not attracted to guys yet want to go out with a trans girl, and that you expect to see me dressed as a guy a lot of the time - that does not describe me at all! I am not a guy, any relationship I might have with a guy would be a straight relationship, and I never dress as a guy.

I believe you are actually looking for a transvestite. Your best bet is probably trannie haven. You might also look at web sites like birchplace and tvchix.

Do you have Boyfriends? Where did you find them?

I'll answer this, though I don't think my answer is really relevant to your situation. I don't have a boyfriend, and I don't expect that I'll get one any time soon. If I do, I expect that I'll probably meet him in a coffee shop or at the supermarket or something. I'm probably not going to meet him on the LGBT scene, for the simple reason that most of the men on the LGBT scene are gay, and hence I'm not on their menu.

Or am I just a gay guy who should come out and get a man..

Damn good question! What, to you, is the difference between getting a M2F transvestite and an effeminate gay man?

hare05

Firstly, Zoegh is right, Facepalm indeed

Ask yourself these very simple questions.

Are you only attracted to 'pre-op' trans women?
Do you want her to 'do' you?
Do you think she'll be more / less feminine in a specific way because of her 'status' as a trans woman?

If yes on any of these, stop treating porn vids as documentaries.

Although those of us here on boards may or may not have anything in common with any porn stars, none of us have anything in common with their work 'personas'.

That's what porn is. A job. Unfortunately an easy one to get into when prejudice drives these girls from more decent work.

Read a few of the previous posts / threads on here pertaining to transsexualism / transgenderism. Learn a bit about the people, we are not all sex crazed autogynephiliac nymphos as porn sites would have you believe.

I don't think you aim to be offensive, so I'll leave it at that and won't throw insults.

high heels

Before I went to bed I read about 3 lines from replys and I've died from the shame/ embarrassment. Ive been awake thinking of this reply for ages. I'm sorry for the post, I dident think it was perverted but now I know its weird freaky thing to like. I read a lot of articles on the subject last night and it does seem like we are a bit weird for liking transgenders most of the articles pointed to it as a fetish which I think I'm not like. They also point out that usually that its a stepping stone to coming fully out. So I'm going to put it all back in the closet and wait till my brain or whatever whats to come out for sure.. No point in annoying people. I prob wont read any more its just too shameful/ embarrassing. Hopefully a mod will delete it.

Links234

hey high heels remember, you like what you like and there's nothing wrong with that. there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about

ok I think you might be a little bit uninformed or confused as to what transgender actually means and you're getting some very blunt replies that are probably not that helpful to you right now. you said this:

I also think I could live with that they dress like guys a lot of the time..

it seems like you don't know the difference between someone who is transgender, and someone who is a transvestite or dresses up as a woman. so you find yourself attracted to someone you think is a guy dressed up as a woman, then of course you might question your sexuality.

what we should do is clear up any misconceptions you have about transgender women, and what you need to understand is, they are women. for a male-to-female transsexual, with hormone replacement therapy, the body really changes a lot and becomes female. I won't go into the details but have a look at my thread this is what the transition looks like when a boy becomes a girl.

so you could be straight, and you've found that transgender women can be very attractive, or you could be a little bi-curious. there's nothing wrong there either way. there are absolutely plenty of straight guys who are into trans women, and they don't have any gay tendancies at all, it can often be a fetish, but it's not necessarily a stepping stone for anything. so only you can say for sure whether you are gay or straight, but remember that liking transgender women does not mean you are gay at all.

you seem to say that you're put off by the idea of just casual sex, so I think the responses you've gotten are pretty unfair. trans women get very fed up of being treated like pieces of meat, so it's all too easy to get defensive when someone happens to have a preference. if you want to look for a relationship with a transgender woman, then just treat her with respect and don't treat her any differently to any other woman and you'll be fine. if you happen to find a girl and you get on together and have feelings for each other then the best of luck to you

just follow your heart

if you like transgender women, go with it.
if you feel you might be bisexual or gay, go with that, explore it and try to be honest with yourself.

but honestly, never feel ashamed or embarressed about yourself.

good luck

Azure_sky

Links234 wrote: »

you seem to say that you're put off by the idea of just casual sex, so I think the responses you've gotten are pretty unfair. trans women get very fed up of being treated like pieces of meat, so it's all too easy to get defensive when someone happens to have a preference.
but honestly, never feel ashamed or embarressed about yourself

Good point. My own opinion of guys who identify as straight (I still say they're technically bi-sexual because they're interested in pre rather than post op transsexuals) but like pre op' transwoman is that there is nothing wrong with this sexual preference by itself,hell alot of transwomen date other transwomen as their first preference, rather the problem lies in the way most tranny chasers treat their quarry.

Links234

Azure_sky wrote: »

rather the problem lies in the way most tranny chasers treat their quarry.

exactly!

there are horrible "tranny chasers" out there and it's their actions and attitudes towards women that are horrible, and it does make a lot of trans women very uncomfortable. but honestly, that can happen with a lot of different things, some guys completely fetishize Asian women for example, be real pigs about them you know? there are just some assholes out there, and it goes for everything.

but there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a preference, whatever that might be, and I don't think anyone should be ashamed or embarrassed about it

deirdre_dub

First of all, I'm sorry for the extent to which my post made you feel embarassed / ashamed / perverted. My aim was to get you to question why you like what you like, and most definitely not to give you a sense of feeling ashamed / embarassed / perverted.

Question - what was it that people said here that gave you the impression that it is a freaky, perverted thing to like? What I saw people saying to you was, in effect, "oh dear God here comes another person looking for a trans person, and they don't even seem to know what a trans person actually is!". That isn't a message of you being wierd, freaky, or whatever - it's a message of you being uneducated, and there is a hell of a lot of that out there! It isn't a crime to be uneducated, though it is very frustrating to be on the receiving end of it.

high heels wrote: »

I dident think it was perverted but now I know its weird freaky thing to like.

That is what is known in the business as internalised homophobia. Let me spell something out for you. It is never perverted to like what you like - perversion is when someone doesn't treat others with respect.

I suspect you might actually be gay or bisexual. It is never ever ever "perverted" to be gay or bisexual.

Even if I'm wrong - let's say you are someone who finds "dancing on the gender divide" to be a huge turn on - there is still nothing wrong with that!

I read a lot of articles on the subject last night and it does seem like we are a bit weird for liking transgenders most of the articles pointed to it as a fetish which I think I'm not like.

What the hell is wrong with having a fetish?! Good God but I reckon just about everyone has a fetish. As for being wierd - one of the wierdest things out there is people who live their lives without being true to themselves!!!

They also point out that usually that its a stepping stone to coming fully out.

Maybe. But you are not going to know what it is unless and until you start educating yourself and asking yourself the right kinds of questions.

You seem to be looking to have "experiences" with trans people in order to help with your education. There is nothing wrong with that, either. But, first of all, the lgbt forum on boards.ie has a policy about personals - they are not allowed - so you aren't going to find anyone here. As I said, trannie haven, birchplace and tvchix are your best bets in Ireland, unless you are willing to look at escorts. But - here's the thing. If you are not willing to pay someone money, then you are going to have to pay due respect and consideration to the other person. That is going to be utterly impossible for you to achieve unless and until you are properly educated about what trans is and isn't. Hence the double facepalm above - your education isn't anywhere near where it needs to be.

So I'm going to put it all back in the closet and wait till my brain or whatever whats to come out for sure..

That's a plan, but please don't go back into the closet for too long - it's not good for you, and hence it's not good for the world as a whole. We need as many out and proud LGBTQ people as possible!

No point in annoying people.

"Annoyed" is too strong a word. Frustrated is a better word.

I prob wont read any more its just too shameful/ embarrassing

Internalised homophobia. To quote "desiderata" -

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.

Looking forward to hearing from you again. The good news is that you most definitely are not perverted. You've shown respect, and you've also shown quite a lot of willingness to look at yourself.

baby and crumble

i too didn't mean to make you feel embarassed, my apologies. I was simply of the opinion reading your post that you might have been a troll. I hope you figure out what you like, and how to go about feeling happy in your life.

Ok, that sounded trite, but I am sorry if I made you feel bad.

Zo

Kanoe

high heels wrote: »

Before I went to bed I read about 3 lines from replys and I've died from the shame/ embarrassment.

me too..but not for you, I just thought wtf is goin on with the responses. feel for you, hope you find some answers here anyway.

Endymion

high heels, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to sexuality. Someone can't say that if you like X you're gay, if you don't Y you're not.

zoegh wrote: »

Ok, first off- I have a feeling that this



might be in order.

BUT benefit of the doub and all that.
...

No part of the benefit of the doubt involve telling a person you think they're full of BS. If you're genuine about giving someone the benefit of the doubt you'd treat their questions in absolutely seriousness.

baby and crumble

Endymion wrote:

No part of the benefit of the doubt involve telling a person you think they're full of BS. If you're genuine about giving someone the benefit of the doubt you'd treat their questions in absolutely seriousness.

At that point, I wasn't genuine about benefit of the doubt. I read the original post and honestly thought the OP was playing silly buggers just to get a rise out of people. I have since rethought my original stance and apologised on thread for my bad reaction, and somewhat childish behaviour. I freely admit I made a twat of myself up there.

hare05

Sorry high heels if I made you uncomfortable... I might be spending too much time on 4chan...

You seem to be focused on the physical, and may have a fetish for people of the gender variant variety. Nothing wrong with that. Just remember that no matter what minority someone might be categorized under, they have a brain in their head and a unique personality. Respect their boundaries.

As mentioned in Deirdre's posts, there are places to go looking for dates / hookups / relationships / cooking tips, etc. This forum is for discussing issues pertaining to sexuality or gender. Stick around if you feel like learning a few day-to-day things about crossdressers or transwomen. There are a few of us on here.

So I guess a belated 'Welcome to the Forum!' is due, and I hope we can be helpful!

Louisevb

To the Op... take your time... don't fit yourself into boxes and beat yourself up about it. Be who you are and chill...
If I've met one person like yourself I've met countless numbers. No criticism intended..
What you need to do is take your time figure out exactly how you feel and what you want and above all be comfortable with that and don't feel any embarrassment or sense of being perverted... bin the guilt be who you are and eventually you will get there.... going into massive detail here is a bit of a waste until you sort the above all out.
Have fun and Good Luck.
BTW you might find it difficult meeting a trans woman because many pretty much blend into society and don't all go to one particular social watering hole. They can be found at anything with a social element going on particularly in Dublin.