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Bad engineering joke

  • 17-12-2003 03:42PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,253
    ✭✭✭


    ok this one is for the engineers. its really bad but one of our lecturers just loves it.

    there was a plane flying from poland to russia.
    during the flight the plane flew into some turbulance.
    the captain came onto the intercom and says,
    "ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing some instabilitly,
    could all the poles please move to the left side of the plane."

    bad, isnt it...


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Comments

  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 95,756 Capt'n Midnight
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    No - a bad engineering joke looks like this

    The designer of the human body was an engineer.
    - who else would run a toxic waste pipe through a recreational area ?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,148 angelofdeath
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    shoot him, im an engineer and thats just so cringe inducingly awful, damn:mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,236 AL][EN
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    Actually i like Capt'n Midnight's joke LOL :)

    as for the other joke i assume it has something to do with magnetic fields or the noth and south poles or something like that but speaking as an IT head i can simply say WTF!!!???


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,446 Havelock
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    I like those


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,253 gobby
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    capt'n midnight -> now thats a good engineering joke. at least non engineers can understand it!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,452 Dont be at yourself
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    *grabs ear and makes "brumm-brumm" noise*

    What's that?

    An engineer. (engine-ear, see. Aha.)

    *grabs ear and says "brumm-brumm, hello, brumm-brumm"*

    What's that?

    A civil engineer.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,155 ykt0di9url7bc3
    ✭✭✭


    /me cries


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,598 Yavvy
    ✭✭✭


    Originally posted by NekkidBibleMan
    *grabs ear and makes "brumm-brumm" noise*

    What's that?

    An engineer. (engine-ear, see. Aha.)

    *grabs ear and says "brumm-brumm, hello, brumm-brumm"*

    What's that?

    A civil engineer.

    oh fu`ck thats funny


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 95,756 Capt'n Midnight
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    To an engineer an glass is neither half empty or half full, it's twice as big as it needs to be.

    When were camping at the international scout jamboree in Switzerland the weather, thunder storm and all that, was so bad that the tents became saturated and to cap it all lightening hit one of the poles - so they all went back home the next day.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,726 quank
    ✭✭✭


    Originally posted by NekkidBibleMan
    *grabs ear and makes "brumm-brumm" noise*

    What's that?

    An engineer. (engine-ear, see. Aha.)

    *grabs ear and says "brumm-brumm, hello, brumm-brumm"*

    What's that?

    A civil engineer.

    hahaha, excellent


    im so sad.... :(


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,173 kmart6
    ✭✭✭✭


    Originally posted by NekkidBibleMan
    *grabs ear and makes "brumm-brumm" noise*

    What's that?

    An engineer. (engine-ear, see. Aha.)

    *grabs ear and says "brumm-brumm, hello, brumm-brumm"*

    What's that?

    A civil engineer.

    I like alot very funneh

    Why so sad Quank?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 194 Deacon Blues
    ✭✭


    A guy walking through the Olympic Village with a huge pole.

    An sprinter asks him "Are you a pole vaulter ??"

    And he replies ... "No, I'm German, und my name is Hans".


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 200 DArcy
    ✭✭


    *shakes wrist and makes "grrr-grrr" noise*

    What's that?

    A Terrorist.



    What's green and invisible?

    *holds out empty hand, palm facing up*

    This cabbage.

    :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,136 Pugsley
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    You all deserve to go to hell for those jokes, bullies :(


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 1,413 Lady
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    Those jokes are just so bad that they make you laugh....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,342 OfflerCrocGod
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    Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
    No - a bad engineering joke looks like this

    The designer of the human body was an engineer.
    - who else would run a toxic waste pipe through a recreational area ?

    I *think* you mean a civil engineer, not just an engineer.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 95,756 Capt'n Midnight
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    "I say would you mind awfully if we put this pipe, you'll hardly notice it sir. "

    Is that civil enough ?

    4 Engineers in a car. It chuggs a bit and the engine stops running and they pull in to the side of the road.
    The chemical engineer blames the petrol.
    The electrical engineer blames the electrics.
    The mechanical engineer blames the fuel pump.
    The software engineer suggests they just get out of the car and then get back in again....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,008 Tivoli
    ✭✭✭


    Q: whats the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?

    A: a mechanical engineer builds weapons while a civil engineer builds targets


  • Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,322 MarkR
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight

    The software engineer suggests they just get out of the car and then get back in again.... [/B]

    I thought he closed the windows and opened them again? :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 857 davros
    ✭✭✭


    Originally posted by gobby
    ok this one is for the engineers. its really bad but one of our lecturers just loves it.

    there was a plane flying from poland to russia.
    during the flight the plane flew into some turbulance.
    the captain came onto the intercom and says,
    "ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing some instabilitly,
    could all the poles please move to the left side of the plane."
    OK, here goes:

    What's the contour integral of Western Europe?

    Zero - there are no poles in Western Europe. (Actually, there are poles in Western Europe but they are removable.)


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  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 95,756 Capt'n Midnight
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Originally posted by MarkR
    I thought he closed the windows and opened them again? :D
    Ok it was a driver problem..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,446 Havelock
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    Arghhhhhhhhhh!
    Sorry had to get it out of my system. These are so bad! But so damn funny.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,819 rymus
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    Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
    Ok it was a driver problem..

    *ba-doom, tish*


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,604 blondie83
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    Another one for the eng heads

    Two functions, f(x) and f(y) walk into a bar one day. They see all the other functions dancing and having a great time, but then they see poor old e^x sitting on his own at the bar. So they go up to hime and say " Ah whats wrong e^x, why don't you go integrate with the other functions?" and e^x says, "why bother, sure it wouldn't make a difference"!

    (Okay I'm really, really sorry, I promise never to tell another joke again!)


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 95,756 Capt'n Midnight
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Expert noun. from X meaning the unknown quantity and spurt - a drip under pressure.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 329 the raven
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    what???!!!?? what the hell are you saying??? what the hell is a contour integral??
    (am i simple or normal??)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,253 gobby
    ✭✭✭


    Originally posted by blondie83

    Two functions, f(x) and f(y) walk into a bar one day. They see all the other functions dancing and having a great time, but then they see poor old e^x sitting on his own at the bar. So they go up to hime and say " Ah whats wrong e^x, why don't you go integrate with the other functions?" and e^x says, "why bother, sure it wouldn't make a difference"!
    hehe... thats kinda good.

    damn! im an egghead... :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,253 gobby
    ✭✭✭


    Originally posted by the raven

    what the hell is a contour integral??
    its an integral taken around a countour such as a circle. dont worry if ye dont get it. its only crappy calculus... (probably better off not knowing bout it)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 353 Commissar
    ✭✭


    Originally posted by the raven
    what???!!!??
    (am i simple or normal??)

    Brilliant:D


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