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beckham and the jigsaw

  • 17-08-2001 4:20pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,741
    ✭✭✭


    Alex Ferguson calls David Beckham into his office.
    "David", he says, "I'm worried about your performance the last few
    games.
    You've been hopeless, completely off form."
    "Sorry, boss" says David. "I've not been myself lately. I've got a few
    problems at home."

    "Oh dear," says Ferguson, pretending to care. "What's up? Victoria and
    Brooklyn okay?"
    "Oh they're fine," says David. "It's just the something's really
    bugging me and I'm losing sleep and everything. I can't concentrate on my
    football and it's really messing me up."

    "Whatever's the matter, David?" says Fergie.
    "Well, boss," says David, "it's pretty serious. You see I'm really
    stuck on this jigsaw and ...."
    "A jigsaw?!!!!" shouts Alex. "You're ****ing up every time you play
    because of a fucking jigsaw?!!!!"

    "Yeah, boss, but you don't understand, it's really doing my head in!"
    says David in that horrible whining voice. "It's really hard and it's this
    picture of a tiger and it looks really good on the box and I'm sure I've
    got
    all the bits and everything but I just can't get it right and it's doing
    my
    head in and I even had my hair cut to try and cool my brain down and ..."

    "David, David, David," says Ferguson. "You've got to get a grip. It's
    affecting our games and nothing is as important as Manchester United's
    success, other than Roy Keane's wages, obviously."

    "Yeah, boss," says David, "but it's this picture of a tiger and it looks
    really good on the box and I really want to finish it but it's really
    hard and it's doing my head in and it's this picture, and it's a tiger and
    it's hard ... and I can't make the bits fit and, er, it's really hard, er,
    >boss and, er, it's a tiger, er ... on the box ... er ... boss."
    Ferguson waits until even Beckham realises he's repeating himself and
    has got nothing else to say which took a bit longer than usual. "David" he
    says, with that conceited, irritating, smug smile he used for
    self-congratulatory post-match interviews. "Bring the tiger jigsaw in
    and let's have a look at it. For Christ's sake, we've got to get you back
    to playing football."
    "Oh thanks, boss" says David, "that'd be really helpful 'cos it's really
    hard and it's a picture of a tiger and it's doing my head in, that tiger
    is."
    So David brings the jigsaw into Ferguson's office. "Here it is, boss."
    he says, showing Ferguson the picture on the box. "Look, boss, it's this
    tiger right, and it's a really good picture and everything, but I just can't
    do it and it's really hard and it's doing my head in and it's this picture
    here of a tiger," and Beckham empties all the pieces from the box all over
    Ferguson's desk.
    Ferguson looks at what's on his desk and the faint dusty cloud now
    hanging over it.
    |
    |
    |
    |
    He looks up at David Beckham, "David", he says, "put the fucking
    Frosties back in the box."


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,984 Lump
    ✭✭✭✭


    I LOVE IT!!!!


    John


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,136 Pugsley
    ✭✭✭


    LMAO plyd biggrin.gif


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