I feel judged for going to college

AmbreSolaire

Ive completed both an undergrad and postgrad, all paid for by susi grants, back to education and myself. I did really badly in school, I was told from 3rd class onward that I was stupid. In Secondary school when I told the guidance counsellor I want to go to university and told her what I wanted to study she told me to be realistic and to do beauty therapy or childcare in the local further ed college instead.
I stopped trying with school as all my teachers and parents just made me feel like trying was pointless because I wasnt going to achieve anything anyway so I kind of gave up. Despite this I did go to college and studied what I wanted, it was really difficult as my parents wearnt supportive, although they helped me pay my accommodation they made it clear the money was a loan and every time I saw them it was brought up and I was made to feel guilty about it despite them happily paying for my brother.
Id no money besides my 300 a month susi grant, it was the recession so I couldnt subsidise myself with a part time job and I was surrounded by other students who had everything handed to them by their parents. I then saved up for 2years to pay for a postgrad. It was a struggle and I sacrificed allot for it.
I grew up poor, both my parents had low wage jobs, my dad drank most nights and gambled so thats were his money went. We would have to cut mold off bread, shop in charity shops, our clothes were second hand from people mam worked with whose kids had outgrown their clothes.
Finding secure employment with a liveable wage and enables me to be completely self reliant is very very important to me and thats why I went to college, so I could get a good paying job.
Allot of people I know who never went to college and decided to settle down, get married,have kids instead are really undermining and judgemental.
I get that education isnt for everyone and people do great without ever going to college, id never judge anyone for their qualifications or lack of qualifications but I hear people say things like college degrees are full of **** or act like you think youre above them because youve got a degree or went to college. Ill log onto facebook and see posts like ' college degrees dont mean youre smart' ..I know its just facebook but people wouldnt post these things if they didnt feel that way.
I know I shouldnt care what people think but im starting to feel like I should hide the fact that I went to University so people dont begrudge me for it.

Arrival

Jesus. Firstly, I have to say it seems like you are surrounded by losers. What kind of person would be so insecure about their lack of formal education that they would say stupid stuff like that? Don't just see and hear stuff like that and try to disregard it; remove and block it. Like, right now go on Facebook or wherever and remove or at least unfollow the people posting that type of stuff and lose touch with anyone in your life that's so negative and judgemental.

I can tell just from reading this post that you have self esteem issues and that's genuinely depressing to me because from the contents of your post, your background and your struggle, it should be the polar opposite. You should be so proud and confident of making it through and achieving what you had set out to do and proven the doubters wrong. Look at where you came from, look at the cards you were dealt in life, the hardships you faced, and you STILL succeeded despite not only receiving little to no support from your loved ones but also active undermining comments from the people that are supposed to help you. If I knew you personally enough to know all of this I would absolutely push you to continue working as hard as you can and to believe in yourself because all that negative **** should drive you even more to do what you want to do. Please cut these type of people out of your life. I know it's not possible and easy to cut your family out of your life, but I would genuinely be minimising contact as soon as possible. We can't choose or change our families but we absolutely can change how little or how much they effect our lives and mentalities. Begin surrounding yourself with happy, positive, supportive and driven people. NORMAL people, not begrudging bastards that will drag you down with them.

milli milli

OP well done for all you’ve achieved in your life so far and for succeeding against the odds. I agree with the previous poster in that you will have to cut out the begrudgers in your life. They are not your friends. Friends should support & encourage each other.
It’s a normal part of life that we outgrow some friends especially around college time when lives go in often very different paths.
Are you still living at home or have you your own place? I’d be distancing myself as much from the negativity. Move on and upwards. Have you a new social group(s) from college that you can spend time with?
Your life has changed for the better and you have more choices now. You are not obliged to stay friends with these people.

LegacyUser

Facebook is full of people projecting their own insecurities and trying to fake an image, ever think of deleting it? Surround yourself with radiators not drains in terms of friendships. You’ve done very well in face of adversity onwards and upwards

Rubberchikken

You have to ignore facebook. Ive never been on it but im willing to bet a lot of it is fake/written to annoy others/or make others jealous.
Be proud of what youve achieved so far. Accept that others wont always see things your way or agree with you and carry on with your life.

GreeBo

OP you are one of lifes winners, not losers.

It may be that you have outgrown a lot of your friends, it happens, a lot.
If they are happy to settle down where they are and you are not, then you need to move one, just like you moved your education on (very impressively btw)

pwurple

What’s your qualification in that it needs a masters to be employable?

You are being a little hypersensitive it seems from that post. A Facebook quote, not aimed at you, saying “you don’t need a degree to be smart” is not an attack on you.

You hear people say it, but are they saying it to you?

Tiddlypeeps

pwurple wrote: »

You are being a little hypersensitive it seems from that post. A Facebook quote, not aimed at you, saying “you don’t need a degree to be smart” is not an attack on you.

That's not what OP quoted tho, they quoted "College degrees don't mean you're smart". What you quoted is an attempted to encourage people without a degree. What the OP quoted is an attempted do discourage people with a degree. That's a pretty important distinction imo. I would have zero interest in being associated with someone who feels the need to say the latter comment in a public setting, it points to a petty anti-intellectual attitude.

kob29

OP you're in the no-mans land of outrunning your former self-image and growing into your older one- into the bargain you've outgrown those people. Sure they'll post that stuff to make themselves feel better about their decisions or what they settled for- some of which they may regret now.
Why oh why would you not delete or hide them- if it doesn't make you feel good get rid of it!
You should be looking in the mirror and reminding yourself of all that you have achieved at every opportunity. You had something in you that believed more in yourself that all the terrible advice you got- you won! Congratulations..in case nobody has said that to you before.

Now why waste your time and mental energy on bloody facebook (if they're not posting that rubbish they're probably playing candy crush!)? Go set yourself some post-education life goals..career pathway?....travel bucket list plans?.....new friends and neighbours?
Enjoy the rewards of your hard work.

AmbreSolaire

AmbreSolaire wrote: »

I know I shouldnt care what people think but im starting to feel like I should hide the fact that I went to University so people dont begrudge me for it.

If you have to change yourself and hide your achievements around your friends it's time to get new friends, imo. You have achieved a huge amount and no doubt can go on to achieve a lot more.

We all doubt ourselves from time to time, you don't need people in your life who add too much to your doubts, imo.

heretothere

Well done on getting your degree. It does sound like you have outgrown your friends, which is a pity but that is down to their narrow mindedness nothing that you have done.

.......

This post has been deleted.

John_D80

Just wanted to comment on your parents giving you a “loan” to pay your rent in college.

Whatever figure they come up with for you to pay them back, divide it by itself and subtract 1. That’s how much you owe them.

Congratulations on achieving what you have, despite all the negative people in your life.

Pelvis

I see nothing wrong with saying "college degrees dont mean youre smart". Lots of really stupid people have college degrees. What matters is the context within which it is said. If I read something like that it wouldn't even occur to me to take it personally.

Are these comments directed at you specifically OP or are you just seeing this stuff in your Facebook timeline?