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Getting overly stressed about new job

  • 16-07-2016 2:16pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026
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    Hi. I recently started a new job. I was unemployed for a year before this. My background is banking, and I was in this job for 28 years, in the IT department. I never expected it to ever end. Just over a year ago, the bomb was dropped on us that our department was being outsourced, so we were offered a move to the new company, or voluntary redundancy. I opted for redundancy, totally unsure of what the future would hold. I spent the next 6 months feeling down, and being a house husband. I then started looking for work, and started in a new job 4 weeks ago. The new job is as a business analyst for a major bank. The only problem is that I don't have the hardcore skills that the new job requires to do it right. I am on a 6 month contract, and when I go to meetings, I haven't a clue. I am not in to bat yet. They have told me that I will get time to get up to speed, but I am still terrified. It's affecting my sleep. I cry a lot, and I feel like quitting. We really need the money as my wife doesn't earn a lot. I am going to bed at a respectable hour to give myself at least 7 hours of sleep. I also go to the gym to try and relieve the stress....but it is still very much there. I am not thick, and I can pick up things quick, but my job involves meetings and influencing people, which are not my forte, and actually really really stress me out.
    I have been thinking of downscaling my job, and getting something more manageable, but paying a lot less, in something like data entry, which I used to work at in my last job, and loved. Should I tough this out for 6 months, and then decide what to do. I am worried about my CV and how it would look if I cut and run now. In some ways, I am angry with my wife, as she earns a pittance, and could be earning so much more, but she says that she is limited in what she can do about it. I am going to take mindfulness training soon to see if that can help my mood


    Any advice would be great


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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 LegacyUser
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    As someone with over 30 years work experience, moving into new roles on many occasion, followed by forced redundancy and 2 years unemployment, I can tell you it takes 12 months to get a handle on a new job. If you don't know something, ask, if you're in doubt, ask, if you need help, ask. Don't ask and you're signing your own exit papers.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20 Rally chick


    give it more time, your sure on the right track to think about mindfulness and to live in the Now. I would think you may be thinking about those months you spent at home and how much of a change that was in your life and that may be effecting your day to day at work now.
    You Can do this.
    I have had a lot of personal stress and issues due to health and I did some stress and self esteem classes. Of all the many things I learned about my self and how life can be better if we think about things in a new perspective ,,,, one thing stood out for me,,, one day one of the course facilitators said to me "be kind to your self" its some thing that rings in my mind every day now.

    new job , new people , your mind racing , and putting your self under pressure worrying about money could distract you a little each day. Give your self a chance. if you were in your old job and you saw some one like this start a new I am sure you would tell that person to stick with it, it can take months to get used to a new environment. Main thing is your in there. you did it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 LegacyUser
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    Thanks so much for those kind words and insights. They're a great help


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 297 bonyn
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    In my experience, often there aren't "hardcore" skills for business analysts. People skills and the ability to cover your arse is probably 90% of it. You will likely be working with some horrible, devious people. If you haven't experienced such people yet, well, there's a good chance you can sail through the next 5 months of your contract at least. Learn as much as you can to benefit you in future roles, but if the job starts to affect your health you need to know when to quit.

    If your last job was 28 years of data entry and data scrubbing, there's a fair chance it won't be enough to be successful in your new job. If you understood data flows, documenting systems, and you know about testing, these are the skills you need to rely on. Establish a good rapport with your boss, ask for support and feedback (do not express doubts about your abiities) and have confidence in the work you are doing.

    You mentioned mindfulness training... if you're on good money, consider counselling to help you deal with work-related issues


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,661 Faith
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Micky Muck wrote: »
    In some ways, I am angry with my wife, as she earns a pittance, and could be earning so much more, but she says that she is limited in what she can do about it.

    This stood out to me - you are angry at your wife for doing exactly what you are suggesting you'd like to do. Try reflecting on your feelings about your wife, and see how they relate to your feelings about yourself.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,245 myshirt
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    Faith wrote: »
    This stood out to me - you are angry at your wife for doing exactly what you are suggesting you'd like to do. Try reflecting on your feelings about your wife, and see how they relate to your feelings about yourself.

    That's a bit harsh. I think he has a very valid point about his wife. We've become too PC to address these issues on the head, it's completely wrong.

    Op, stick with it as best you can. Focus on developing good relationships with your colleagues to get an ally on your side. Actively sit down and write out the things you've learnt so far, you'll get there, bit by bit my friend.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,661 Faith
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    myshirt wrote: »
    That's a bit harsh. I think he has a very valid point about his wife. We've become too PC to address these issues on the head, it's completely wrong.

    I think you've taken my post up wrong. There was no judgement at all in it. I'm wondering why exactly is he angry at his wife? Is he jealous that she doesn't have the stress he does? Does he resent her for not reaching her earning potential? If the roles were reversed, and he took a low-paying data entry job and his wife took a high paying stressful job, how would that make him feel? Or does he want them both to be in high paying stressful jobs?

    There's nothing 'wrong' with the feelings of anger, but if he explores why he's angry, he might understand more about the situation at hand. If it is, for instance, that he wants them both to be working low-stress, low-paid jobs, how can they move forward with that?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 LegacyUser
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    My wife has a Masters degree in religious studies. She was a religion teacher on decent money before we met, but now works part time in adult education. She earns 15k before tax. I was earning around 60k in my bank job, and now earn 55k. We have no mortgage and no kids. I was in a bank IT job before redundancy. I was a business expert, programmer, and for the last year and a half of my time at the bank, a business analyst. That description was fairly loose in comparison with what a BA does in this job. I am not sure I can stay here if expected to hit the ground running. I need time. It's a contract till Christmas. Need to see how it goes. As I said, I would love for my wife to get a better permanent job. However her mother has recently gone into a nursing home, and she is his main visitor. Rest of her family don't go to see her too often. I'm 50 in a couple of weeks. Really don't need this hassle


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 297 bonyn
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    Micky Muck wrote: »
    I'm 50 in a couple of weeks. Really don't need this hassle

    Having worked in several roles over the years, money and workload don't correlate. Maybe they used to, but now you'll see highly stressed, highly skilled people working long hours with no overtime or benefits...

    Data entry jobs now pay as little as minimum wage, and most of the work is automated. I spoke with a woman who worked in the cheque clearing department of bank on something outrageous like £20 an hour years ago. Her job was to use a numeric pad to enter amounts on cheques. Fast and accurate data entry was once considered a skill.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 LegacyUser
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    Faith wrote: »
    I think you've taken my post up wrong. There was no judgement at all in it. I'm wondering why exactly is he angry at his wife? Is he jealous that she doesn't have the stress he does? Does he resent her for not reaching her earning potential? If the roles were reversed, and he took a low-paying data entry job and his wife took a high paying stressful job, how would that make him feel? Or does he want them both to be in high paying stressful jobs?

    There's nothing 'wrong' with the feelings of anger, but if he explores why he's angry, he might understand more about the situation at hand. If it is, for instance, that he wants them both to be working low-stress, low-paid jobs, how can they move forward with that?

    In the height of my stress, I go into "what if" mode. If my wife was coming out with over €50k a year, I could retire early, and be done with the stress. I enjoyed when I was off work. The only reason I went back was because we are strapped for money. If I managed to get to grips with the job, I wouldn't be as annoyed


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