Stupid feelings for friend

LegacyUser

Hi all,

First off I know how minor this is going to be in terms of what's happening in the world and certainly other threads on this forum. Also, I have deliberately kept the sexs vague here is all involved use boards and it shouldn't really effect the story/advice.

Anyway, Myself, my OH who we can call A, good friend of mine who I will call B an B's OH that we'll call C who is also best friends with my OH. Anyway we have all been friends for years and C is quite attractive nothing wrong I feel noticing that I'd expect my OH A to notice someone if they were attractive and so on.

Anyway, to cut a long story short myself and C work in the same field and we ended up at a conference in the UK and booked into the same hotel. Work drinks turned into a bit of a party which led to the two of the last two up at 4 in the morning very well on. Now, as the drinks flowed conversation became more and more relaxed /fun turning into a silly game of I Never and then admitting sexual preferences, most embarrassing stories etc. I also somehow came out and said that if I could be with anyone from within our group of friends and it couldn't be A it would be C. Important to note this wasn't a pick up line it is actually the truth and C asked the question. At no point was there a hint that something might happen it was just like getting drunk with your best friend and having a real laugh which surprised us both as we wouldn't be that close. Anyway going to bed we said as fun as it was we wouldn't mention it again because our OH's certainly wouldn't approve so we haven't mentioned it since and to C's credit if they are awkward about it they definitely aren't showing it because all is carrying on as normal.

Now this is where the issue is and again I admit in advance how stupid this is, but since that night I have developed a really silly crush on C. You know the kind when your a teenager heart fluttering when you see them and all that carry on. Important I feel to note that the feeling certainly isn't mutual and I would never cheat on my OH. I just have found myself on a couple of nights out making my way over to C for a chat when I wouldn't have previously and maybe a couple of flirty jokes that have slipped out. Wouldn't be noticeable to anyone as there would be jokes like that between our friends all the time although B is the jealous type so I try to avoid them kind of things .

The thing is I do feel guilty about feeling like this so I would prefer not too and it was during the summer that night in the UK happened so time hasn't really made any difference. I'm not actually sure what I'm looking for here, I do feel a little bit better having written it down. I guess has anyone been through something similar and what they did.

Thanks for sticking with me there and any help is welcome.

Xterminator

do you feel you need to do anything? i would imagine that your are clear C does not want to pursue this. So its not like you have a choice to make there.

my advice would be to examine your relationship with A. given you current state of mind perhaps you should consider ending it - for her/his sake?

once free well you could drop C a message and see if they are free for a drink some evening. if they say no - that will tell you what you need to know.

leahyl

Xterminator wrote: »

do you feel you need to do anything? i would imagine that your are clear C does not want to pursue this. So its not like you have a choice to make there.

my advice would be to examine your relationship with A. given you current state of mind perhaps you should consider ending it - for her/his sake?

once free well you could drop C a message and see if they are free for a drink some evening. if they say no - that will tell you what you need to know.

I'm sorry, but am I missing something here? C is in a relationship with B, from what I read in the OP's post - so why would the OP meet up with C for a drink after possibly ending it with A?? C is still in a relationship.....

OP, I would leave well enough alone with C and just move on. However, if you feel that this incident has made you question your relationship with A, then that is an entirely different matter, which you need to address obviously. I don't think you have any feelings for C really, just that what happened at the conference may have brought up some unresolved feelings about your relationship with A perhaps??

Confucius say

I would think its quite dangerous and inappropriate to talk that way and flirt with someone who you consider only a friend, especially when they are your OH's bff. I would question your current relationship if I were you, I would have thought if all was well and good there you wouldn't be crushing on some other dude. If you are sure you can forget about this thing with C and move on then do so, but it doesn't sound like the type of thing that will just go away as long as you are in the same circles.