This Girl I like is confusing me so much I dont know what to do

TheManiac2000

Hi everyone,

Theres this co-worker of mine who I have absolutely fallen for and I can safely say that up until 2 weeks ago Im pretty sure she felt the same way as she has liked me ever since I began.

Only thing is that my attraction meant that I blew hot and cold with her a lot most of the time often due to pure frustration at the awkwardness that sort of developed between us and my fear is that I have blown it. It doesnt help either that I hide my attraction for her because I am not sure whether I would be coming across as inappropriate or not

At the moment I am not too sure how she feels as i am now getting very mixed signals/different demeaner as opposed to very clear attraction only 2 weeks ago and I am genuinely confused as to whether she still likes me and is hiding it or whether shes lost interest. Now and again she still has this sustained stare when Im in her eye line and she still smiles instantly when I speak to her

Although I must say that the awkwardness between us has lessened significantly over the last week as I tried to relax a bit last week and not go chasing her because I figured I would only tear myself up over it again and it worked to a certain extent as we hadnt seen each other for a couple of days up until last Wednesday and her face just lit up when she seen me and was playfully teasing me all day. There was one occassion where we were talking when her voice just softened and slowed as I maintained eye contact with her and she turned away and began to act a little weird/distant for maybe the next hour. This can often happen when he asks a favour when I notice her voice slowing and softening as shes making eye contact.

But as we have become more relaxed around one another over a last week or so I still havent detected anything meaningful that I can act on and am just so confused now. Im trying to move on from her as Im just getting fed up of it all now and its making me miserable but somehow I cant and keep getting drawn back into trying to win her over

kylith

I suspect that because you blew hot and cold she decided that you weren't interested and is attempting to move on.

If you like her, ask her out.

Mourinho

To be fair lad, I'd say she thinks the same about you. You are hot and cold too. If you like her you'll have to ask her out as its obvious she's not going to take the initiative. If you wait you'll risk her getting frustrated and going off you completely, it happens believe me!

LegacyUser

If what you describe in your OP is the extent of the "signals", I'd say walk it off. If that's what amounts to an expression of attraction, then everyone in my office in love with each other. Personally, I'd want to se a lot more than you've described before I'd think about making a move on a colleague.

LegacyUser

Hi Op,

I had to laugh when reading your post as I have never read anything on Boards that I related to so much. I am in a very similar situation myself the only difference being that I would be the girl.

It sounds like you're over thinking things, why not ask her to grab a coffee after work some day or even invite her to do something you both have an interest in. That way you won't be putting too much on the line by asking and you'll be able to gage from her reaction how she feels about you?

I know in my situation I get embarrassed and flustered when speaking to him sometimes because I am unsure of how he feels so I don't want to make it too obvious that I like him and don't really know how to act around him and that could very well be the case with your co-worker. But you won't know for sure until you do something about it.

Good luck Op, hope it all works out for you

Est28

Very confused here OP.

Am I right to say you've never asked her out or actually done anything but work with her?

I think this is ALL in your head. There's no way on earth two people could have this much drama between them without even having gone out or having anything happen between them a single time.

I think you're doing what the typical needy guy does. If she so much as shows you ANY attention you're building this up in your head that she MUST like you. (Eh, she works with you, she HAS to talk you).
Then the next day she is busy or has other things on her mind and isn't paying your attention and your world comes crashing down in your head.

Realistically, you haven't made a move, you're just a co-worker to her. She's friendly to you but you're not a priority of hers. All this is in your head.

I had a buddy do the same a while back. He was convinced there was a "connection" between him and another female friend of mine he'd meet sometimes. I had to cringe every time. When we all met up, she'd talk to him and be nice because that's her personality but in the mean time she was meeting and dating other guys.
One night out she met a guy at the bar when we were all together... my other friend put his fist through a wall and literally freaked. Then the next day demanded they had a "sit down talk" to disucuss what she did the night before and the "thing between them".

Of course she had no idea what he was talking about and literally ran a mile.

Sounds very similar.