chronic low self esteem

LegacyUser

Like the title says I think I have chronic low self esteem, if thats a thing. I think in a way I've always been like this but recently it seems to be back again. I have so much to be thankful for and have so much good in my life yet I feel useless.
I recently got a good job in a good firm but yet I feel I am not good enough, that I am inferior to others in the same position as me. I cant shake the feeling. I have an amazing girlfriend and yet I think I'm not enough fun or too boring for her. She was pretty wild in her college days and loved to party, I've never been like that, I'm always the guy in the corner while everyone is dancing. The boring one. We have been apart for almost 3 months now and she is having so much fun, which I'm happy about but again it makes me think even more that I'm dragging her down to my level of boredom. When I go out with my friends I am always the responsible one who doesn't drink too much and goes home early. I never did drugs or traveled much or did anything outside my comfort zone. In some ways I feel like I missed out on things when my friends talk about things they have done because I'm too boring.
Some of this I suppose is related to depression or mild depression. A few years ago I was going to counselling for what I think was mild depression. Looking back on it now I think it was a similar issue of terrible low self esteem, I felt so useless and crap. I seriously considered suicide at one stage which scared the crap out of me that I had let that come into my head. I dont know if I am slipping back into that stage again but I feel like a bit of a waste of space and that I am not good enough for the people in my life.
Is it normal to slip back into bouts of depression if you have suffered from it before? Or am i just destined to be a boring person

JuliusCaesar

lowselfesteem wrote: »

I never did drugs or traveled much or did anything outside my comfort zone. In some ways I feel like I missed out on things when my friends talk about things they have done because I'm too boring.

The way to get confidence is through challenging yourself, taking risks, trying things out - in other words, leaving safety behind and getting out of your comfort zone. You learn a lot about your strengths, and you learn a lot about yourself.

If you're staying in your comfort zone due to fear, you'll only end up with not knowing your own strengths. You'll never know what you are capable of. It seems other people can see that you are capable of more, if you have a good job and amazing girlfriend. What is it that they see in you?

Start off with small things. Do some things differently. Don't do as you've always done.

Rubberchikken

not everyone needs to have done drugs, got drunk off their head, talk endlessly, travel to the moom etc.
the world is made up of many different people for a reason.

you have to beging telling yourself you're a good, worthwhile person. your gf is with you because she loves you. you were able to get a job because you're good at what you do.

try something new, by all means. but tbh doing something for the sake of it isn't going to fix anything.

you first need to change how you think about yourself.
take care.

Arcturus IV

Just because the people around you did things they were comfortable with, doesn't mean you need to do the same thing if you feel uncomfortable about it. It doesn't matter if you're the responsible one or the one that's sits in the corner at a nightclub, there are other people like that as well.

Are you destined to be the boring person? Hell no. I would say OP that you just haven't found your style, so to speak, what defines you as a person. Take a look at your interests, see what you like the most. Look at the hobbies that you enjoy and see if there's any groups or clubs that you can join up for it. Is there any events that involves your interests? Go to them if there's any that genuinely appeals. But most importantly, don't be afraid to go for it if it's reasonable to you; enough to put out the edges of your comfort zone, but not to the point that it goes too far.

Good luck and take care OP.