Those situations that come back to haunt you

neilaccountant

Im screwed.. Suggestions people please I need them ?
My opening post in my thread from this link explains the background to the whole situation in a lot more detail
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056826358

Since October last year till about march this year I had been paying money .. this stopped in march after me .. she ran off with the money and never bothered with me again..Until a few weeks ago.. when she was told that she was on facebook with her boyfriend finding out.. obviously she told him that she wasn't on it.. she and her bloke and other demanded the page to be deleted.. but I refused.. and still refused.. up until last night when i received mails by her through her facebook

Now shes after recovering her facebook after me using it over the last few months.. Shes now threatening to basically expose me and this whole situation publicly on her page probably post on my page as well.. and it wouldn't surprise me if she mails my friends or people that she knows that is close to me.. to make things worse for me

to my horror she mailed me last night saying
"so (MY NAME) haha wats up? i could out you.. you cant get bak on dis page"
and then
"well we need to talk (my name) and figure out whats gonna happen next so txt me when you get a chance "

and again this morning
"if you would like a chance to sort this out (my name) i suggest you txt me otherwise things will get messy!!"
and
"wel you have until tonight to txt me back before i start talkin to people le"

I don't trust her one single bit ..and could you blame for not trusting her ? after abandoning me completely (including ignoring my texts and calls) from our "business arrangement" after me giving her a substantial amount of money..

Its tricky to fully understand everything by this thread.. but before you judge and or provide advice or suggestions can please read my opening post on the thread that I've provided the link for.. the opening post alone on that thread will provide enough information

Any suggestions on what I could do ????
If she wants more money to keep her mouth her shut.. I cant im skint this year.. and even if I actually had the money I wouldn't anyways.. ive wasted enough money on her as it is..

What do you guys think she'll want ????
Would it be possible for her to be a decent person and just drop the whole thing ?? without wanting something in return

Esoteric_

That was really hard to read. I remember your original thread very well though.

Are you saying you took control of her facebook account and used it in her name?

If that's the case, I don't blame her one bit for wanting to tell people everything and frankly, I'd advise you to give her a groveling apology.

As for her taking your money and running - it was a business arrangement. You paid her to pretend to be your girlfriend. What did you expect would happen? Just because you liked her, that doesn't mean she felt the same, and she did nothing wrong in ending the arrangement when you stopped paying.

neilaccountant

Esoteric_ wrote: »

That was really hard to read. I remember your original thread very well though.

Are you saying you took control of her facebook account and used it in her name?

If that's the case, I don't blame her one bit for wanting to tell people everything and frankly, I'd advise you to give her a groveling apology.

As for her taking your money and running - it was a business arrangement. You paid her to pretend to be your girlfriend. What did you expect would happen? Just because you liked her, that doesn't mean she felt the same, and she did nothing wrong in ending the arrangement when you stopped paying.

seriously ?.. am I missing something ?

how was it difficult to read ?

Well one of the business arrangements was for her to be on facebook.. pretending to be my gf on it.. of which I paid her for !! why do you think I kept her page ?? for the laugh like ???

Am I missing something I should apologise to her ? Shouldn't she apologise to me ?? she took the money and ran.. she broke the trust.. please point me in the right direction and explain further if im completely wrong altogether

Im taking out sentence that I liked her at one time.. its a bit irrelevant at this stage

Esoteric_

neilaccountant wrote: »

seriously ?.. am I missing something ?

how was it difficult to read ?

Well one of the business arrangements was for her to be on facebook.. pretending to be my gf on it.. of which I paid her for !! why do you think I kept her page ?? for the laugh like ???

Am I missing something I should apologise to her ? Shouldn't she apologise to me ?? she took the money and ran.. she broke the trust.. please point me in the right direction and explain further if im completely wrong altogether

It was hard to read because the first few paragraphs were extremely jumbled.

Okay, so you had control of a facebook account in her name, added to your account as your girlfriend, yeah?

And when you couldn't keep paying her, she cut contact?

so because you weren't paying her, the 'arrangeme' was over. But if she had a boyfriend, it'd look extremely bad for her to have a second account in her name, listed as being your girlfriend. So of course she wanted it gone!

The account was part of the arrangement. When that arrangement ended, whether on amicable terms or not, it should have been deleted.

She didn't run with your money. She provided the service you paid her for, and then the arrangement ended. She's done absolutely nothing wrong.

Childish and petty of her to threaten to expose you, but you were equally childish and petty in refusing to delete the account.

Sorry for being harsh, but you're wrong. It was a business arrangement, not a relationship, trust doesn't come in to it. If you couldn't pay, the arrangement was over.

If you'd just gotten rid of the account when the arrangement ended, this sorry situation would be over.

Esoteric_

Or when you say she ran with your money, do you mean you paid her for a date and she didn't show?

Matteroffact

So, what does she want now, more money or she will expose the past. I say let her. All you have to do is tell her to get stuffed. If it goes any further and she posts stuff on facebook all you have to do is post something like "okay folks I broke up with this woman and this is all her way of getting back at me, a woman scorned if you like". Nobody will believe her and she has more to lose than you have, so just forget about her. However if you still have a facebook page with images of the two of you just delete it. Problem solved.

neilaccountant

Esoteric_ wrote: »

It was hard to read because the first few paragraphs were extremely jumbled.

Okay, so you had control of a facebook account in her name, added to your account as your girlfriend, yeah?

And when you couldn't keep paying her, she cut contact?

so because you weren't paying her, the 'arrangeme' was over. But if she had a boyfriend, it'd look extremely bad for her to have a second account in her name, listed as being your girlfriend. So of course she wanted it gone!

The account was part of the arrangement. When that arrangement ended, whether on amicable terms or not, it should have been deleted.

She didn't run with your money. She provided the service you paid her for, and then the arrangement ended. She's done absolutely nothing wrong.

Childish and petty of her to threaten to expose you, but you were equally childish and petty in refusing to delete the account.

Sorry for being harsh, but you're wrong. It was a business arrangement, not a relationship, trust doesn't come in to it. If you couldn't pay, the arrangement was over.

If you'd just gotten rid of the account when the arrangement ended, this sorry situation would be over.

No no.. She set up the page added me as her boyfriend on it as part of the deal.. and had paid her.. which was before she ran off

I couldn't pay her the way she wanted to be paid.. I could only pay her in small amounts which would've taken longer.. which she clearly happy about

no the arrangement wasn't over in my opinion.. I never ever stated that I couldn't pay her ever again

her facebook account we agreed was a 1 payment only.. to keep open indefinitely !!! regardless of whether the other arrangements were taking place or not

So facebook was a special arrangement.. if you want to call it that

neilaccountant

Esoteric_ wrote: »

The account was part of the arrangement. When that arrangement ended, whether on amicable terms or not, it should have been deleted.

We agreed that her facebook account will be always there.. always !! Regardless of me paying her or other terms or other things or not
that's what we agreed

this is getting off the point anyways

Esoteric_

You couldn't pay her the way she wanted, so she cut contact, thereby ending the arrangement. Of course she'd want the account gone!

Sorry, but the more I read, the more I think you're wrong to be honest.

neilaccountant

Matteroffact wrote: »

So, what does she want now, more money or she will expose the past. I say let her. All you have to do is tell her to get stuffed. If it goes any further and she posts stuff on facebook all you have to do is post something like "okay folks I broke up with this woman and this is all her way of getting back at me, a woman scorned if you like". Nobody will believe her and she has more to lose than you have, so just forget about her.

Not sure what she wants..

that's a good suggestion though thanks.. ill have a think about that

In a sense it'd be my word against hers then ?

neilaccountant

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Of course she'd want the account gone!

She never ever stated that though.. And I cant read the girls mind

Maybe she actually wants to keep the page don't think her boyfriend does though

Czarcasm

neilaccountant wrote: »

I don't trust her one single bit ..and could you blame for not trusting her ? after abandoning me completely (including ignoring my texts and calls) from our "business arrangement" after me giving her a substantial amount of money..

It's hard to feel any sympathy for you OP when having read through your previous thread just now, you ignored all the advice you were given and carried on regardless justifying and thinking you knew better. You're at it again here already thinking people should feel any sympathy for you just because your naivety came back to bite you in the ass. You ask could anyone blame you for not trusting her after YOU took over her facebook page? You were deliriously happy with the arrangement while you were paying her, and when you couldn't pay her, that was the end of the arrangement. You set the terms and conditions, she abided by them. She isn't at fault.

Its tricky to fully understand everything by this thread.. but before you judge and or provide advice or suggestions can please read my opening post on the thread that I've provided the link for.. the opening post alone on that thread will provide enough information

It doesn't though, which is why I had to read through the whole thread to understand the context of the mess you've created for yourself. I still think you're being economical with the truth and still refuse to acknowledge anything that doesn't fit with your "poor me" story.

Any suggestions on what I could do ????
If she wants more money to keep her mouth her shut.. I cant im skint this year.. and even if I actually had the money I wouldn't anyways.. ive wasted enough money on her as it is..

Cut off all contact with this girl for a start. Second of all, grow up. Accept responsibility for your mistakes, and take the hit for this. It'll die down eventually, but hopefully not before it teaches you a valuable lesson that money can buy you a lot, but it can't buy you common sense. You ignored the common sense advice you were getting here for free!

What do you guys think she'll want ????
Would it be possible for her to be a decent person and just drop the whole thing ?? without wanting something in return

To see you squirm. It'd be possible for her to be a decent person alright, but YOU set the standard for decency when you offered girls money to pretend to be your girlfriend.

Its mad that at one stage that I actually liked this girl..

Ehh, you liked what you were paying for! This girl was pretending to like you, as per your arrangement. What's mad is that you think people should understand why when you act like a prick, you shouldn't expect it to come back to bite you in the ass!


Consider this a lesson learned OP and chalk it down to experience. You can, and hopefully will, move on from this, having learned that you get back what you give out. Be a decent person if you want people to treat you with some decency.

Taltos

OK OP - we've reviewed this thread as well as your last one.

Few things - using multiple accounts here is a bannable offense.
We closed your last thread as you were clearly either not willing to listen to the advice given or needed advice beyond that we are qualified to offer.

And so we come to this thread, opened 8 months on. Our original analysis stands. We are not qualified to help you here. We strongly suggest you speak to a professional and in regards to your current issue that may well be a legal resource. However, we are not reopening this thread and are going to ask you nicely not to post on this matter again here. The simplest and best advise has already been given - call her bluff and let the dice fall where they may - she has more to lose here, by revealing your big secret she is outing herself as someone who took money to do a job for you, in some circles you could say she prostituted herself, but that is a huge stretch, and if you follow that logic it does not paint you in a nice light either...
Either way PI/RI is not the place you are going to get the answers you seek here. Let her threaten you all she wants - she only has power over you if you allow it. At this stage you have to ask yourself why you care? - and that comes back to seeking some real constructive professional help for yourself.

Thread closed.