Cyberbullying

Chuchoter

Fairly urgent situation here C&H. After discovering that 5 dickheads from my brothers school are after making a facebook event about him being in a fight outside of school. This event was yesterday, however they didn't realize my brother would be at a school thing at that time. It would have been an ambush. Over 100 people were invited by these 5 boys, none of them replied other than 4 who said no, and it was a public event so god knows who else has seen it. My parents know and I've talked to my brother.

I asked the guy who set it up and he said it was a joke, but it doesn't look like a joke and I don't know if people know its a joke. I have screen-capped and saved everything. I have reported it. What now? I'm really worried.:(

Insect Overlord

Talk to your brother's school principal, vice-principal and counsellor. Make them aware of exactly who's involved, and exactly what they're doing. Don't rule out contacting the Gardaí either.

Chuchoter

In the process of emailing it all to the tutor of his class. Do you think it might have been a joke and I'm over-reacting?

TanG411

Even if you are over-reacting, I wouldn't blame you. You have every right to get this matter sorted.
It's easy for the person who set it up to say, ''It's only a joke'', but that's what every bully's excuse is.

I hope you get this sorted though, do talk to the school and see what you can get done.

almostnever

crayolastereo wrote: »

In the process of emailing it all to the tutor of his class. Do you think it might have been a joke and I'm over-reacting?

You're not overreacting in the slightest, and fair play to you for not letting it go. The school have a duty to take this seriously. You could really do whatever you wanted and say "it as just a joke!" and get away with anything, it means nothing especially this kind of thing which isn't in any way funny. I hope it works out for you and your brother.

Insect Overlord

I was on the wrong end of enough shitty "jokes" for enough years of school (primary, before we had technology, and secondary when we had loads of it) to know you're not over-reacting. Make sure your brother is kept in the loop about it too though. He'll need to feel empowered as well.

Chuchoter

I've talked to my brother, the tutor already knows about the first fight and is worried he is being blamed for it, so now we have proven its not. The e-mail wasn't inflammatory or blaming anyone, just saying this has happened and you should probably know about it.

I don't think it was really a joke at all tbh looking at it again, and neither has anyone I've showed it to. I mean a joke would have been a like making fun of the first fight calling WWE *school name*. Organizing a new fight, outside of school grounds with 100 people involved in a secluded area is not funny at all.

They need to run a bloody class in facebook at JC :mad:

randylonghorn

crayolastereo wrote: »

Over 100 people were invited by these 5 boys ...

Even if it was meant as a joke, and I really doubt it, this ^^ would have more or less guaranteed that there was nothing funny about it for your brother.

I've heard a few stories over the last couple of years of people being forced into fights in similar ways, usually with pretty big audiences, and witnessed the end and aftermath of one of them.

There was nothing humorous about any of them.

At least there's one thing about the fools using facebook, there's a paper trail (sic) which doesn't exist with word-of-mouth.

Aoibheann

Insect Overlord wrote: »

I was on the wrong end of enough shitty "jokes" for enough years of school (primary, before we had technology, and secondary when we had loads of it) to know you're not over-reacting.

I completely agree. If it doesn't feel like a joke to your brother, it's serious. If it upsets him in anyway, and if he feels like he's being singled out, picked on, bullied, whatever you want to call it - then it's important, and it needs to be dealt with now so your brother isn't left dealing with the consequences. The sooner it can be stopped, the better. If you need any advice or just want to talk to anyone, crayolastereo, please do send me a PM. I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can.

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Make sure your brother is kept in the loop about it too though. He'll need to feel empowered as well.

And I also agree with this. Especially if your brother is feeling angry/frustrated/upset as would be excepted given the situation. He won't want to feel like he can't fight his own battles. I can say this from experience. When I was about 16, a girl in one of my classes was spreading some pretty nasty rumours about me, among other things. My sister heard about them and tried to deal with it for me, and I was furious. I could have dealt with it myself, and in fact I did. This is a much more serious situation, but do make sure he feels like he is dealing with the situation as he wishes - but also make sure that the relevant people are contacted.

Chuchoter

Had it been a bit of name calling in class, I would have left him to deal with it. It was the orchestrated nature of it and the fact that it was on such a grand scale. I did talk to him last night, and he looked terrified and I didn't want to leave him into that on Monday. I just hope it works out now :S

Aoibheann

crayolastereo wrote: »

Had it been a bit of name calling in class, I would have left him to deal with it. It was the orchestrated nature of it and the fact that it was on such a grand scale. I did talk to him last night, and he looked terrified and I didn't want to leave him into that on Monday. I just hope it works out now :S

Oh, absolutely. I just meant that to make sure he knows what's going on - just not to exclude him from it. I honestly think you're dealing with it very well, and I'm so glad that your brother has someone like you looking out for him. A lot of people aren't so lucky, and you're doing an amazing job. You were absolutely right in treating it as something serious as there is NO way that it could be seen as a joke. No way at all.

Piste

Jesus that's awful...when you say outside school do you mean physically outside of the school building but still on the grounds, or totally separate from school (in both time and location)? If it's the former then the school wont get too involved but it's a good idea to let them know what's going on (which you already have done) so they can keep an eye on your brother and the other kids in the school to prevent anything similar coming up. Beyond that though, there's not much you can do. The best thing could be for your brother to confront the bullies head-on and let them know in no uncertain terms that he will call the guards if they even think about anything of the sort again. In fact it might be a good idea to let the guards know about the facebook event so that there's a record of the bullying going on in case it escalates. There are far too many reports of people being bullied and doing nothing, here your brother has a chance to do something to stop it by confronting the bullies and letting them know he wont take it and how bang out of order they are. Encourage him to do it himself; having his sister fight his battles for him could be more harmful in the long run.

Inzilbeth

Thats no joke and please get the school principal to contact the parents of the kids involved and get them in for a meeting with your parents.

I am a mum myself and fairly passive.. but if this was done to my son even as a so-called 'joke' I would not rest until something was done.. to ensure that they firstly had learnt their lesson, and secondly to ensure that there would be no other bullying by them down the line against him.
My son was bullied consistently throughout primary school.. :mad:and I was fearful it would continue into secondary ( it even affected my choice of school for him as I refused to send him to what I regarded as a better one simply because the 'bullies' were going there'.. I felt he needed a clean start and thankfully he has shot up, and has tons of friends where he now is.
You seriously cannot let this go.. they may do it someone else.. and what if some people has agreed to go.. would there have been a fight and it perhaps filmed and ended up on you tube or the like.. he would have been so humiliated.

Kids can be cruel and stupid sometimes.. but they have to learn.. and if this is just let go.. they have learnt nothing

I do hope you brother is ok going into school on Monday.. I imagine he will be a bit worried