Two girls who are friends.......

LegacyUser

Ok first of all I am not a bitch or anything. Met these two amazing lads at a weekend away in Europe somewhere, turns out they dont live too far from me, great laugh, had me in stitches all night. Anyway really fancied one, both were good looking though. As the night went on and drinks were had the one I didnt fancy kissed me, me being a wee bit drunk one thing led to another but not sex. I had got both their numbers earlier in the night and had said i'd meet up with them again since they were great craic.

So I thought since the one who kissed me was hot anyway and seemed nice enough as he didnt push for sex on the first date. I text him and said id like to meet up again and a few text went back and forth.
Anyway I felt a bit bad after and started having second thoughts and maybe I amn't really that into him. Sweet and all as he was and call me a selfish bitch for this, but I'm really into the mate. And since ive texted the one who kissed me already, WTF an I supposed to say to the other one? Sorry for kissing your mate the other night, but he kissed me first and bla bla bla......????

You know where this question is going, these guys have been mates since they were kids, but it defo wouldnt work with the one who kissed me as I'd just be always thinking of the other one, then again I dont even know how the one I didnt kiss would take it. Sorry for sounding horrible and selfish but he seemed really special and I got the impression ( I am not big headed) if his mate didnt kiss me he might have been interested.

In summary - two mates - I kissed one - not that into him - am into the other one - what to do? Apart from forget it.

xzanti

You know where this question is going, these guys have been mates since they were kids, but it defo wouldnt work with the one who kissed me as I'd just be always thinking of the other one, then again I dont even know how the one I didnt kiss would take it. Sorry for sounding horrible and selfish but he seemed really special and I got the impression ( I am not big headed) if his mate didnt kiss me he might have been interested.

You only met them the once in a nightclub, no offence but I don't think you need to worry about damaging their life long friendship..

I'd arrange to meet up as a group as friends, maybe bring a couple of your own mates along and just be cool with the one who kissed you.. let him know first and foremost that it's not going anywhere with him.. Establish a friendship with them both and work from there with the one you like..

Taltos

Suggest that when you do meet up you lay off the drink.
Otherwise you may be seeing a repeat performance and once there for a 2nd time his mate will not be interested.

Suggest that also as early as possible you be frank with them both - the more you lead the first one on the more his mate will be bound by those unspoken friend rules - if he is not already - all depends on how they view these things....

Miss Fluff

Eh stop leading the guy who you're not interested in on for a start!What were you doing texting him and everything when you're not interested in him?

You need to make it very clear that nothing is ever going to happen between you. Then arrange a night out in a gang and as Xzanti said, estabolish a friendship first and then take it from there.

kjl

I was in a similar situation, except I was the guy you didn't kiss.

I ended up getting a text from the girl, who I liked anyway. We met up behind the guys back and got on really well. We ended up kissing and believe it or not as we were kissing the other guy walked into the bar and saw us.

He rings me up the next day to basically say he never wants to see me again.

I ended up going out with the girl for 5 year, and I wouldn't change a thing. IMHO my ex friend read far too much into a kiss. He thought he had something going with her, when in reality she wanted me.

I don't know how this story helps, but if it was my ex gf giving the advice I'm sure it would be to follow your heart. If you like the other guy then go for it, you don't own the first guy anything.

Chucky the tree

I'd avoid it, unless the other guy is a complete tosser(^) then he'll back off now that you've been texting him.

DamoKen

kjl wrote: »

I was in a similar situation, except I was the guy you didn't kiss.

I ended up getting a text from the girl, who I liked anyway. We met up behind the guys back and got on really well. We ended up kissing and believe it or not as we were kissing the other guy walked into the bar and saw us.

He rings me up the next day to basically say he never wants to see me again.

I ended up going out with the girl for 5 year, and I wouldn't change a thing. IMHO my ex friend read far too much into a kiss. He thought he had something going with her, when in reality she wanted me.

I don't know how this story helps, but if it was my ex gf giving the advice I'm sure it would be to follow your heart. If you like the other guy then go for it, you don't own the first guy anything.

You met behind your mates back and because you got on so well with his girlfriend this naturally lead to kissing in a public bar. Your mate walked in and because he saw you kissing he read far too much into it?

So he was at fault by overreacting to seeing a so called mate with a girl he had thought he was seeing behind his back and kissing her in a bar anyone they know could have been in?

If anything you sound like you got off lightly.

And no, he didn't read too much into it. Think he read it 100% correctly. If a so called mate of mine did anything like that to me I would be shot of them instantly, and they'd probably lose the rest of my mates as well. With mates like you who needs enemies?

And the advice follow your heart???? Please :rolleyes:

Given the context above complete and utter self centred only I matter bullsh*t navel gazing twaddle. Basically going from your example you're saying "OP do what YOU want, and f*ck anyone who gets hurt along the way".

OP follow your heart by all means, but have a care for those around you. So far the wrong signals have been put out there in a big way by kissing and then texting the wrong fella.

It could well mean that's it as far as the other mate is concerned but doesn't necessarily mean that. Just be careful how you approach this. Behind the guys back who you did kiss should not even be considered as an option.

If you really like the other mate and see it as more than a one nighter last thing you want to be doing is screwing with a friendship that's been there since childhood.

LegacyUser

Op what happened is perfectly understandable IMHO. Just dont lead the other guy on any more, cool things with him. Then gauge the interest of other guy. Although he may think your a bit of a Sl*t, if you just try something like a kiss on (on an alcohol fuelled night). If you really do like him, maybe convey it without alcohol or others around....