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ultimatum..?

  • 08-07-2010 10:39pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I won't go into too much detail, but basically I'm seeing a boy casually. It's been a very casual thing for a long time (it was long distance for most of this time). Generally we go through phases, sometimes he'll be making more effort to contact me, sometimes its the other way around. At the moment I feel like he's making little or no effort, yet will happily respond to me and we still get along great and flirt a lot when we're together.
    Anyway, I feel like maybe it's gone on too long and I'd like to know where I stand and if there's a point in me spending my energy on liking him. I like him SO much and it's the longest I've ever liked someone so I know I'll be devastated if he says he doesnt like me anymore.
    For the past few days I've had this urge to just text him and ask straight out where I stand,but I don't know how to approach this.
    I could either be straight out serious and ask does he like me, if he does could he show it and if not could he let me know so I can move on. Although this might scare him into thinking I'm looking for something really serious and make him thinking I'm obsessive!
    OR I could be casual, flirty and a bit witty and try to be more myself and hint majorly that I want to know the story. Although then he might not take me seriously!
    Neither of us want it to be really serious at the moment, but we've just always had so much fun and chemistry between us that I dont want it to end between us.


Comments

  • #2
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Can you give us a bit more detail here OP? Are you in a fcuk buddy situation and you want more? Or are you just friends? Or have you been dating him and doing lots of coupley things (besides from just the physical) and want to have a chat about exclusivity and becoming an item? What age are you? How often do you see him? Are you both free to see other people etc? Prob a bit more info and you will get better advice tbh.


  • #3
    AngryBadger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭AngryBadger


    OP if you want something more serious with this guy then you need to be direct with him.

    I don't mean to be harsh but playing games with him is only leaving you wide open to be burned.

    Honestly it sounds like he's happy with the casual set-up but you're not, as is strongly evidenced by you feeling that a guy you're having a casual relationship with
    unregistered wrote:
    At the moment I feel like he's making little or no effort, yet will happily respond to me and we still get along great and flirt a lot when we're together.

    Sounds to me like he's happy with things as they are but you're not. As I say playing games with this will more than likely cause it to end in tears. Be direct if you want to know where you stand, or you want something more serious, but be prepared for him to walk away if he's not in the same headspace relationship-wise as you are.


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