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Help for social anxiety

  • 16-09-2009 12:02am
    #1
    Copper23
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 525 ✭✭✭


    Hi,

    I think my trouble meeting new people comes from something like social anxiety or something. I mean, I've read stuff about it and it kinda describes me but I dont know how to cure it.

    I've tried seeing someone who helps with this but the process isn't working.

    I know know if its hypnosis or nlp or whatever they call it but they talk through stuff and then have me lie on a couch and close my eyes and they just talk in a eally slow voice telling me to drift off and then tell a story about "a man I knew once who had a problem like you and how wonderful he is to get over it".

    Apparently its supposed to get into my subconcious but the whole time I'm lying there thinking what the hell is this?
    I can here everything and it just seem hokey, its not "reprogramming me" at all. I just feel stupid doing it and kinda want to just sit up and say what the heck is this?

    I don't get it. How do you get over it, I'm really shy in social situations and cant think or go talk to people or say the right things or just relax and let the words come to me.

    Has anyone successfully managed this?

    thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Derek5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭Derek5


    Hi.

    If this is really affecting you, it may be an idea to book an appointment with your GP and tell him how you feel.

    He could refer you to somebody like a psychiatrist or a counsellor for an assessment. You could possibly have General Anxiety Disorder, it's extremely common.

    You need to see somebody over this for a few sessions, usually about six.


  • #3
    Copper23
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 525 ✭✭✭Copper23


    Thanks but I found someone myself who I went to a few times and I felt the whole process to be ridiculous,

    it wasn't "tapping into my subconcious"... it was just silly.

    And you'd sit up afterwards and they say "Oh, you're back with us, does it all feel better now" and your just like... "Um, I just listened to you talking in really slow voice for 10 minutes" and I'm gonna feel crap the second i go outside, you want 150 euro for that?


  • #4
    Derek5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭Derek5


    Copper23 wrote: »
    Thanks but I found someone myself who I went to a few times and I felt the whole process to be ridiculous,

    it wasn't "tapping into my subconcious"... it was just silly.

    And you'd sit up afterwards and they say "Oh, you're back with us, does it all feel better now" and your just like... "Um, I just listened to you talking in really slow voice for 10 minutes" and I'm gonna feel crap the second i go outside, you want 150 euro for that?
    Out of interest which did you go to see?

    Did you listen fully to what was being said to you?

    Did you both discuss your progress, etc?

    Just wondering?


  • #5
    Copper23
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 525 ✭✭✭Copper23


    It was a life coach, nlp, hynosis type person. I don't know what they'd l;abel it.


    Yes I listened, yes telling me I should believe I'm great makes sense but i just don't believe it or I wouldn't be there.

    I listened, I did the exercise but there was no "tapping into the subconsious", just a ridiculous load of showmanship that perhaps some people would fall for (placebo effect?) but I just don't go for that kinda of rubbish.

    I dont know where else to turn.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey

    I hear ya. Went to a guy last year and did an intensive course across 5 days and it was highly disappointing, as well as expensive. Felt like such a fool for parting with my money so easily.

    I couldn't help thinking "how come he's dressed so badly for someone who is telling me about success".

    Try a book called The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns (I think).... lots of practical advice.

    I used to be shy and it wasn't until I started putting myself out there that I got over (to a greater extent) my shyness and lack of confidence. I used to have trouble meeting people and a lot of that was down to worrying what they'd think of me. Since figuring myself out more and figuring what type of people I get on with, I've found it easy enough to get along iwth new people.

    There are always going to be people who you just don't gel with though.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    "I used to be shy and it wasn't until I started putting myself out there that I got over (to a greater extent) my shyness and lack of confidence. I used to have trouble meeting people and a lot of that was down to worrying what they'd think of me. Since figuring myself out more and figuring what type of people I get on with, I've found it easy enough to get along iwth new people."

    I am in the same situation as the OP. Can you expand on how you turned yourself around? Its people like you you know how to do it and your advice the most valuable.


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