Why can't I relax??

LegacyUser

This is pretty embarrassing but am hoping someone might have thoughts or advice that could help me out. I'm with my bf a while now and am mad about him but I can't cum when we have sex. I really don't know what my problem is. I really like him and enjoy being with him and the sex is fine i just can't seem to let go enough to cum! To make things worse I went to the doctor today and was told I have a urinary tract infection. The doctor thinks this was caused by me not relaxing enough during sex. We've used lube and stopped using condoms because the latex was irritating me (am on the pill) but still nothing. I think I have come close a few times but it's starting to become a bit of an issue, well he has mentioned it more than once. I just wish there was something I could do to make it happen

puglover

FedUpGirl wrote: »

This is pretty embarrassing but am hoping someone might have thoughts or advice that could help me out. I'm with my bf a while now and am mad about him but I can't cum when we have sex. I really don't know what my problem is. I really like him and enjoy being with him and the sex is fine i just can't seem to let go enough to cum! To make things worse I went to the doctor today and was told I have a urinary tract infection. The doctor thinks this was caused by me not relaxing enough during sex. We've used lube and stopped using condoms because the latex was irritating me (am on the pill) but still nothing. I think I have come close a few times but it's starting to become a bit of an issue, well he has mentioned it more than once. I just wish there was something I could do to make it happen

Are you insecure about your body or sex or something? I read somewhere recently that normally when a woman can't climax is psychological and nothing to do with the mans performance.

From the title of your post it obvious that you know you need to relax but no-one can tell you how. You need to figure out what it is that's stopping you and address that.

LegacyUser

Just to let you know you are not alone, I am having the same problem. I just loose focus and can't let go.

LegacyUser

I know when people say to relax they mean to not be uptight and let yourself go, but tbh, the word "relax" can be sometimes misleading, as I find when it comes to sex, relaxing is the absolute last thing on my mind! Muscles are contracting and doing spectacular things, relaxing them would just knock the intensity and rythm completely!


Instead of relaxing, just let yourself go, try different positions, maybe wait till your urinary tract infection clears up as this could make it uncomfortable or even painful, and that definately wont help you cum! But, keep trying different things until you find something that really pushes your buttons! And even at that, it wont happen every time, I find that personally, I only cum after the second or third session (we're a very active couple) because by then I'm fully worked up and my body is ready for it! I also find that in spontaneous moments of "Oh my god I cant live, eat, or breathe without you" I can cum within seconds, so sometimes dont even worry about the foreplay and let passion lead you!


But most of all, enjoy trying!