Escape from the rat race

K09

Hi all,

I have recently started to question the whole idea of working for a living.

I have started to realise that people are all the time saying how quick time is going and that this year is flying. But when I think about it every year has been the same. And for me it's because from monday to friday we are working and only have that brief time at the weekends to actually live life. To really enjoy life.

My friend tells me that his parents are worried about pensions, etc with their retirement on the horizon. They have worked hard all their lives and still end up worrying! Makes me wonder what is it all about!
Then a relative of mine died who was always concerned with his work. Always kept busy but never really got the chance to relax and enjoy life.

I am in a job that is fine. I don't love it and I don't hate it. It gives me the chance to enjoy weekends, go on a weeks holiday and buy occasional gifts.
However, I feel life must have something better to offer. Where somehow you have a pretty good job that you enjoy and maybe work at for 3 days of the week. And you really enjoy doing it. And you can spend the rest of that time really enjoying life with family and friends.
Why do we spend our best years of our lives - 20s/30s - working with little time for things we love?
Then maybe time would not fly by without hardly noticing it. Or remembering what we actually did!!

Most people I work with work the mon to fri, get hammered the wkends, and then go on the 2 week sunshine holiday.
And at the end of the year when you think back and say 'wow the year went so quick' and you wonder what you did that made life so enjoyable, if anything at all.
I accept a lot of people are happy with this life and fair play to them. But it's just not how I want to live my life.

Is there a better way or should I just get on with it and stop whining?

Anyone got any suggestions, advice or similar experiences?

Thanks.

loyatemu

this documentary might give you a few ideas:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyZ--z8RpOI

Ellechim

if you figure out the answer will you please let me know

BroomBurner

Hi OP,

Nobody likes work, that's why it's called work!

Though one thing to consider before giving up working for living is what you really want out of life. If you want a home, good food, comfortable living, not worrying about where the rent/mortgage is coming from, a family, a comfortable old age, etc. then I'm afraid you're going to have to work at some stage.

Maybe take a couple of years out to travel and do menial jobs to get by (fruit picking, etc.) and enjoy the lifestyle for a bit. You could then decide if that's what ya want full time, or if maybe you want the former stuff.

Alternatively, check out permaculture and sustainable living. If I had the option, they'de be the way I'd go.

Good luck with whatever you choose though!

pisslips

I'm 22 and have not yet entered the working world and I've had the exact same thoughts for a long time, there is no incentive to enter this painfull, gruelling crap life. I'm thinking fair enough if you have kids and you have to compromise but if you don't why narrow your life.

I've got to find a solution to this problem soon. I had thought about running your own buissness but I definitely need some years of intensive experience first and a niche and money.

I don't know, it's difficult, first off all I need to work on better self discipline in order to get a clearer perspective.

if you find a good way out, I'd say go for it.

nyarlothothep

yeah me too, I did it for a while and hallucinated from exhaustion.

lukin

It's an interesting question the op poses, and one I've thought about myself.
Criminals don't believe in working for a living, that's sometimes the reason they give for their line of work (not that I'm suggesting anyone goes down that route:))
I think it is possible to have a job that you enjoy doing and that you would miss if it was taken away from you (and not just because you wouldn't have any money). I've worked with people in s****y jobs that they hated and they were extremely unpleasant to work with, very bitter and twisted.
I think that's the reason why so many people get hammered at the weekend (as you mentioned). This is often their only means of escape from their miserable existence.
I think if they had some purpose in their life they wouldn't feel the need to do that. By "purpose in life" I mean a feeling that they are getting somewhere in life through their job, that it's leading to something, whether it is promotion to a better paid position or that they are learning something that will give them experience that will allow them move to a better job at some stage.
Or else that they are saving money to buy a house, start their own business, or whatever it might be.
Alternatively, if you hate your job, having something outside of work to look forward to makes your job just about bearable. This worked for me when I was in a job I hated. I just blocked it out and looked forward to the evenings when I had night classes that I enjoyed.
It's definitely depressing if you work from day to day and weeks turn into months, months turn into years without a feeling of purpose to it all.
My only advice is to broaden your horizons outside of your work hours, you have to do it yourself though, it's not going to happen by magic!

Vim Fuego

Ah yes, I would love to think that I could chuck it all in and grow my own veg, rear my own livestock etc, possibly on the west coast where I could indulge in my passion for surfing each morning and spend quality time with friends/family each and every day. Sigh.....

I think you have to be of a certain mentality to do this, I just don't think I'm built for it. I would worry constantly about money and the future. I already worry about money and the future and that's when I have a nice job that I don't particularly hate but I still dread getting up in the morning and get the fear on Sunday nights.

It's not even like I've been burning myself out for the past 15 years, I've been out of college about 5 years and have been in constant employment since then (and glad of it) and I've yet to find a place where the honeymoon has lasted longer than a year.

Yep, there's gotta be a better way to do things, I just don't know what that is. Hopefully I have a rich old uncle I don't know about :-)

Mrs OBumble

BroomBurner wrote: »

Hi OP,

Nobody likes work, that's why it's called work!

Some people are lucky enough to find a vocation (in the non-religious sense) that both satisfies them and pays the bills. The only folks I've met like this are special-ed teachers or therapists. But apparently there are some nurses, teachers, guards, doctors etc who feel similar.

I've observed that self-employed people generally work a lot harder/longer-hours than employees, but some prefer it because at least they're working "for themselves".


Just remember though, the problem with the rat-race is that even if you will, you're still a rat.

Oakbark

Maybe it's me being pessimistic, but the wake-work-rest-sleep cycle with weekends and holidays chucked in is basically what life is all about (you know, apart from love and family and friendships). I totally understand what you're saying though, that there's almost a live-to-work mentality and that many people seem to labour through life without huge enjoyment or excitement.

You know, a lot of people are just happy with that. Others, like yourself (and probably myself to some extent) need to find something else in life that propels them from the mechanical-like daily grind. It's tough to say what the 'something else' is.

When you think about it, if someone gave you loads of money and free time, you would inevitably get bored with it. Work is an important part of life, and that's why finding something you like to do every day is important.

I do agree though that you should work to live. Work is part of life, but not all of your life. I can see why your own personal circumstances (your relative that passed away) makes you angry.

I think your question is less to do with work, and more to do with a bigger issue of life. You're looking for that spark of excitement and happiness that most normal people don't look for, don't feel the need to seek out. But to get more, you have to put in more. I know changing jobs is not really the best idea in the current climate, but maybe it's what you have to do for yourself. If getting hammered at the weekends isn't your idea of fun, find new friends that enjoy other activities. If you can't find them close to home, look for them elsewhere.

But again, beware. The sad reality is that the 'Friends' ideal is a very, very high benchmark, where friendships are uber-close and adventures are two a penny. Things don't work like that normally.

I've probably ranted on way too much, and been a little OTT, but it's important to consider these things.

narwog81

a friend of mine asked himself the same question recently and has pretty much opted out(for a few years anyway).

good leaving cert, excellent degree, landed an excellent job with great money, long hours and a solid career path.

He's 23 and one day looked around the office at lunchtime and saw himself in twenty years time, still sitting there doing the same type of work, albeit witha bigger pay packet.

He gave his notice and is now working with a charity in central africa and has no plans to come back in the immediate to medium term future.

He said people have nothing but are a lot happier than they are in Ireland. The pace of life is slower and the concept of comsumerism is alien to them. He loves it out there.

To onlookers he apparently threw away a good job and money
(and in these times dontcha know) but as far as he's concerned he's made the right choice.

I wish i was brave enough to do the same.....

K09

narwog81 wrote: »

a friend of mine asked himself the same question recently and has pretty much opted out(for a few years anyway).

good leaving cert, excellent degree, landed an excellent job with great money, long hours and a solid career path.

He's 23 and one day looked around the office at lunchtime and saw himself in twenty years time, still sitting there doing the same type of work, albeit witha bigger pay packet.

He gave his notice and is now working with a charity in central africa and has no plans to come back in the immediate to medium term future.

He said people have nothing but are a lot happier than they are in Ireland. The pace of life is slower and the concept of comsumerism is alien to them. He loves it out there.

To onlookers he apparently threw away a good job and money
(and in these times dontcha know) but as far as he's concerned he's made the right choice.

I wish i was brave enough to do the same.....

Yeah I agree. I traveled in Africa and loved it. The people are amazing. So laid back and relaxed even though they have very little. But they know how to enjoy life.
I'm sitting here in work wishing I was back there or somewhere else really enjoying life! Just wishing that tmr I would be made redundant and finally free to do what I want....but haven't figured that out yet and I'm near 30!!!!

NullZer0

BroomBurner wrote: »

Nobody likes work, that's why it's called work!

I love it!

love2swim

I downshifted last year. After 15 years in a highly stressful but well paid job. I decided I wanted a better quality of life.
Now I work 20 hours a week in a job that I love with zero stress.
Okay the money is a LOT less (about a third of what I was on), but I cut out all the luxeries and keep an eye on the bills.

I wouldn't go back to the other job. I get calls from them occasionally and they all sound so stressed and caught up in corporate nonsense.

I havn't resorted to keeping chickens or anything like that, but I do get to go for nice walks on the beach now on a Monday morning, or sit a read a book for hours at a time - bliss.

bladespin

Work to live not live to work, absolutely right, far too many getting tied up in how much they earn and not thinking about enjoying their jobs.

Changed jobs recently to a lower paid position in an industry I really enjoy and can get excited about, it's great, so much better for you when you can actually look forward to going to work in the morning. :eek:

daddycool

here's my take
1) don't work for the man - working for yourself eases the pain of any stress - at least it all goes into your pocket. The usual arguement against this is "well not everyone can start their own business' - I don't believe that. Sure it is hard work getting off the ground but at least it is yours. If and when it is successful you can kick back, have others do most of the work and 'enjoy' with the cash benefits

2) Alternatively, fill your life after 5pm. I now have 2 kids (under 3), and so my social life has taken a bit of a temporary dip for now! However, I am always amazed at how 'little' some people do in the evenings. In our major cities there is so much going on any night, from sports, theatre, film, clubs, meetings, visual arts, etc. The list is endless if you get out there and put your name on mailing lists. Meet new people. Get involved in things, charities, clubs, social movements .. whatever floats your boat. The things you do OUTSIDE of work define who you are - never let WORK define who you are

3) Escaping to Asia / Africa somewhat misses the point to me. Of course for a while it is good but the fundamental is still there. Contentment in your own life is the ultimate. Find a job that is OK - challanges a bit and pays the bills. That's the money sorted. Then sit down and work out how you are going to fill EVERY night for the next month. Do some things with friends. Do others on your own. Force yourself to meet new people. I think ultimately life is about friends and people - meet them

4) Getting smashed at the weekend is probably release but also a bit of a waste - writing off some of the weekend. By all means drink until you fall down but don't fall into the weekends are for drinking trap. Climb a mountain, go scuba diving, throw yourself into Poll Gorm or off the 40ft for a laugh

... and yes I intend to keep chickens and sheep soon - animals teach you a lot sometimes about perspective ... sorry if I got preachy - I can do that somethimes

doolox

I took a wonderful opportunity to part with a company after 14 years of a stormy working relationship which can be best described as purgatorial.
I started working after a painful redundancy from a wonderful company in which I thought I had a "job for life".
Rather naively I thought I would never have to do another interview after getting that first job from leaving school and life was rosy.
We were very innocent then.
While my first job was conducted in a supportive, cooperative and almost family like atmosphere my second job was conducted in a highly competitive, adversarial and back-biting atmosphere where constant improvement and cost cutting and increasing pace of work was the order of the day.
What annoyed me most was the total lack of protection from bullying by other members of staff. When this was reported on two separate occasions no effective action was taken.
On the second incident I no longer felt safe, emotionally, working in that place.
I could no longer function mentally in that place and had no choice but to leave. Now I am towards the end of a course in which I had a chance to learn an expanded set of skills in small group with similar technical background and some with similar stories to tell about dysfunctional work situations and colleagues and the various emotional damage that can occur in the workplace.
Everyone at work needs to take stock of their quality of life and how work can affect this. Long hours, lack of power and control of the pace and intensity of work, encouragement to work long hours and skip breaks and not take hoildays should be examined by both managment and workers alike and not encouraged in the long term.
We didn't arrive at the working hours and conditions by accident and reducing holidays and increasing hours of work on people against their will can only damage long term effectiveness of the workforce.
I am afraid that the weak bargaining power and the lack of jobs will lead to high staff turnover, lower standards of pay and conditions, ultimately in lower attractivness of technical and scientific jobs and an increasing reluctance of people to enter into and subscribe to the corporate working arrangements which were dominant in the Celtic Tiger era in Ireland.
As I remarked in other threads in this forum, the marginal gain in going from the dole into a minimum wage job is too small for most people to consider, especially when transport and catering costs are taken into account. Most minimum wage people are either not entitled to JA or JB by reasons of age, nationality or PRSI payments record or they work sufficiently close to home so that transport costs are not an issue.
Tragically many people have commited themselves to huge mortgages and other loans which commit them to a 20-30 year working life needed to pay them off. This will colour their thinking and choice of working arrangements very much.
Our children need to learn not to commit themselves beyond the minimum necessary for life in terms of accomodation, transport etc in order to have options in their future lives. Our parents did not have access to the easy finance we were accustomed to in the '90's. This made them more modest in their housing and other spending.
Without wisdom and moderation in spending freedom and choice are constrained.

mickman

i have recently come back from an awesome holidays and have the "blues" in a sense. i have been thinking a lot about the rat race recently and how to get out of it. i think the key is to become mortgage free as soon as is possible. if you dont have that drag every month you really dont need much money to survive. so at present im saving 1k per month for ten years. that will give me 120k. that will pay off my half of the mortgage and i can then just get a part time job pulling pints a pub talking to the locals and have no stress in my life ....

Shiny

Starting your business is NOT easy and you will have NO life while
you are building it. (Think 50/60+ hour weeks) You will then have the
added responsibility of the decision making which could make or break
your business. People usually start their own business for the "buzz" of
it rather than the deluded idea that you can swan around and put your
feet up.


My idea of a great job is to find one that you are willing to do for nothing
and then get paid for it!


I also don't subscribe to the idea of mortgages. It is bread into Irish peoples
minds that they must own their house resulting in 20-40 year mortgages.
A huge number of people in mainland Europe rent for most of their lives. I
know this is seen as a waste but its not as if you can take it with you in
the end. Plus you have the added bonus of being able to up and leave
anytime you want as opposed to being stuck somewhere for 20 years.

mickman

shiny

what do you do when you retire and stop working. how would you pay rent?

homeOwner

mickman wrote: »

if you dont have that drag every month you really dont need much money to survive. so at present im saving 1k per month for ten years. that will give me 120k. that will pay off my half of the mortgage and i can then just get a part time job pulling pints a pub talking to the locals and have no stress in my life ....

It could work if you arent planning on having children and you are lucky enough to stay healthy. But sh1t happens in life, better to have money than not.

My attitude is if I am going to work 8, 10, 12 hours a day, I'd rather get paid alot of money for doing those hours than minimum wage for those hours. Work is work. Money is certainly not a bringer of happyness but it buys piece of mind.

There is stress and cr@p in most jobs, whether thats dealing with demanding managers or members of the public. A job in a bar talking to the locals will no doubt come with its own stresses.....unless its on a sandy beach in Fijji

kazzer

Has anyone successfully gone from fulltime work to part time, while maintaining a similar quality of life?