Problem with nagging

grrrrrrr

I'm a secretary/receptionist in a business where it is just myself and my boss dealing with customers. I'm very good at my job and in many ways get a lot of enjoyment from it. Remuneration for this role is above average.

However, I find myself nagging my boss to get things done. I know straight off that nagging never works, but I must admit that it's what comes naturally. I get incredibly frustrated - to the point where I have been known to throw things around in anger, although not with anyone else present - at his ability to procrastinate.

Example: I will draw up a list of tasks to be dealt with, numbered, prioritised, relevant info pulled, and so on. Firstly, he will often not address these tasks, although he says thanks and don't get rid of that list, I'll deal with it tonight. Secondly, when he does give it a go, even though I try to explain what I've done towards a particular task, he'll either not see that or ignore it and go ahead and re-do that part of the task.

The more work I put into making his workload lighter, the more he seems to resist.

He's very negative and I just clam up in response. "This day's shaping up to be as bad as yesterday," "The way my week is going, <insert mildly annoying incident blown up out of proportion here> will cap it off perfectly," "This job gives me no time off, I'll have to come back in tonight/over the weekend again," whereupon he scoots off for a two hour lunch.

He creates so much work for himself (and me) that is not in our remit, saying I'll do this, I'll do that, then instantly forgetting about it, so people come back to me a couple of weeks later saying they haven't heard back about such-and-such. I have become proficient in giving people the runaround, seemingly saying a lot and in actuality saying nothing; being non-commital. This situation is the one I find myself most frequently responding to by nagging.

He does the part of his role that he enjoys doing (even though he'll still moan about it) and leave the paperwork (which I absolutely can not do). This is not just a matter of being bad for business, but could be endangering people's lives. I know that sounds seriously OTT, but that is the line of work I'm in.

He seems to let things get on top of him and doesn't cope very well at all. I need to find a way of helping him without being patronising and without recourse to nagging.

Any ideas/observations/opinions welcome.

cronos

grrrrrrr wrote: »

I'm a secretary/receptionist in a business where it is just myself and my boss dealing with customers. I'm very good at my job and in many ways get a lot of enjoyment from it. Remuneration for this role is above average.

However, I find myself nagging my boss to get things done. I know straight off that nagging never works, but I must admit that it's what comes naturally. I get incredibly frustrated - to the point where I have been known to throw things around in anger, although not with anyone else present - at his ability to procrastinate.

Example: I will draw up a list of tasks to be dealt with, numbered, prioritised, relevant info pulled, and so on. Firstly, he will often not address these tasks, although he says thanks and don't get rid of that list, I'll deal with it tonight. Secondly, when he does give it a go, even though I try to explain what I've done towards a particular task, he'll either not see that or ignore it and go ahead and re-do that part of the task.

The more work I put into making his workload lighter, the more he seems to resist.

He's very negative and I just clam up in response. "This day's shaping up to be as bad as yesterday," "The way my week is going, <insert mildly annoying incident blown up out of proportion here> will cap it off perfectly," "This job gives me no time off, I'll have to come back in tonight/over the weekend again," whereupon he scoots off for a two hour lunch.

He creates so much work for himself (and me) that is not in our remit, saying I'll do this, I'll do that, then instantly forgetting about it, so people come back to me a couple of weeks later saying they haven't heard back about such-and-such. I have become proficient in giving people the runaround, seemingly saying a lot and in actuality saying nothing; being non-commital. This situation is the one I find myself most frequently responding to by nagging.

He does the part of his role that he enjoys doing (even though he'll still moan about it) and leave the paperwork (which I absolutely can not do). This is not just a matter of being bad for business, but could be endangering people's lives. I know that sounds seriously OTT, but that is the line of work I'm in.

He seems to let things get on top of him and doesn't cope very well at all. I need to find a way of helping him without being patronising and without recourse to nagging.

Any ideas/observations/opinions welcome.

I think you seem to think your his boss. He is the one who should be coming up with the list of tasks and telling you to do them. Not the other way around.

Could you do the paperwork to such an extent that all he has to do is review it to ensure its correct and then he signs off on it. That would make him responsible for the content.

But if him not doing his job affects you then you should tell him exactly how it is affecting you. You have a job description so if tasks which are not under the description are assigned to you then you can chat to him about that.

homeOwner

grrrrrrr wrote: »

I'm a secretary/receptionist in a business where it is just myself and my boss dealing with customers. I'm very good at my job and in many ways get a lot of enjoyment from it. Remuneration for this role is above average.

However, I find myself nagging my boss to get things done. I know straight off that nagging never works, but I must admit that it's what comes naturally. I get incredibly frustrated - to the point where I have been known to throw things around in anger, although not with anyone else present - at his ability to procrastinate.

Example: I will draw up a list of tasks to be dealt with, numbered, prioritised, relevant info pulled, and so on. Firstly, he will often not address these tasks, although he says thanks and don't get rid of that list, I'll deal with it tonight. Secondly, when he does give it a go, even though I try to explain what I've done towards a particular task, he'll either not see that or ignore it and go ahead and re-do that part of the task.

The more work I put into making his workload lighter, the more he seems to resist.

He's very negative and I just clam up in response. "This day's shaping up to be as bad as yesterday," "The way my week is going, <insert mildly annoying incident blown up out of proportion here> will cap it off perfectly," "This job gives me no time off, I'll have to come back in tonight/over the weekend again," whereupon he scoots off for a two hour lunch.

He creates so much work for himself (and me) that is not in our remit, saying I'll do this, I'll do that, then instantly forgetting about it, so people come back to me a couple of weeks later saying they haven't heard back about such-and-such. I have become proficient in giving people the runaround, seemingly saying a lot and in actuality saying nothing; being non-commital. This situation is the one I find myself most frequently responding to by nagging.

He does the part of his role that he enjoys doing (even though he'll still moan about it) and leave the paperwork (which I absolutely can not do). This is not just a matter of being bad for business, but could be endangering people's lives. I know that sounds seriously OTT, but that is the line of work I'm in.

He seems to let things get on top of him and doesn't cope very well at all. I need to find a way of helping him without being patronising and without recourse to nagging.

Any ideas/observations/opinions welcome.

Sounds like you are very competant and good at organising. But its not your responsibility to make sure he does his job. You are passing the info to him and helping him by making lists. You are doing your job very well. He sounds like he is slacking off and not pulling his weight but thats his and his manager's problem. Not worth getting stressed about it because its outside your control. Just keep doing your job well.

grrrrrrr

Thank you both for your input. You both bring up valid points.

homeOwner, I do feel responsible for making him do his job, which is kind of crazy/controlling. cronos, I definitely step outside of my job description, but my job would be boring if I didn't!

if him not doing his job affects you then you should tell him exactly how it is affecting you

cronos, I've thought of that, but at the same time, I don't want the relationship with my boss to be on too much of an emotional level. I would rather try to come up with solutions than admit some seeming fragility which in the short term could make him pussyfoot around me. I think it could be counterproductive.

He sounds like he is slacking off and not pulling his weight but thats his and his manager's problem.

homeOwner, the problem there is that he's self-employed, although held accountable to a larger body. I imagine that audits must be done, but it's not something I've ever heard about or seen discussed. Without somebody drawing attention to him, it will go on like this in perpetuity... or at least until he burns himself out.

The more I write about this situation, the more I realise that I can't see a way out of this unless I was to completely re-wire my boss's thinking. And that certainly isn't in my job description, but does point again to the fact that I'm bossy and a nag!

Ultimately, I guess I wish I didn't care so much and am concerned that I'll reach the end of my tether and just bail. I fret about that because I've just undertaken a massive project at work, so the last thing I want to do is let my stress levels put a dent in the success of the business, let alone my career.

I'm also concerned, when it comes down to it, about the level of my culpability in the workplace. If I am aware that something has not been done and something rotten comes of it, can I be held to blame at least in part?

I wish I'd studied psychology. And law.

Grrrrrrr.

AARRRGH

What exactly do you hope to achieve?

Change his behavior? Control him? Become his mammy?

I think you already know this doesn't work with partners, so it sure as hell isn't going to work with your boss.

If I were you I'd start communicating via e-mail (as well as verbally, of course) so there is a paper trail covering your ass for everything.