End of the line...

LegacyUser

I've been really close to ending it all the past few nights. Is there any way of distracting myself from doing this. I thought the guilt of leaving my family behind would be enough to stop me, but it doesn't seem to work as well as it used to. Has anyone else here been in this position before? If so, how did you get through it? I have no more answers. I've been to the doctors and have been prescribed medication, but sadly it doesn't work for everyone.

Thanks in advance.

Victor

If you are talking about suicide, its not worth it. Its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. OK, life may not be rosy, but things will improve.

Can I ask you to do something. Ring the Samaritans:

http://www.samaritans.org/
ROI: 1850 60 90 90
UK: 08457 90 90 90
jo@samaritans.org

Open 24 hours.

AckwelFoley

near_the_end wrote: »

I've been really close to ending it all the past few nights. Is there any way of distracting myself from doing this. I thought the guilt of leaving my family behind would be enough to stop me, but it doesn't seem to work as well as it used to. Has anyone else here been in this position before? If so, how did you get through it? I have no more answers. I've been to the doctors and have been prescribed medication, but sadly it doesn't work for everyone.

Thanks in advance.

I know exactly how you feel. Ive been there on a couple of accasions due to complications with control of my Manic Depression.

Please talk to people. Seek medical advice other than the doctor.. you will need to be referred by a GP there are systems in place to help you and you are not alone, or the first person to have to try and deal with this. Some Medication suits people better than others and its only part of the solution to the problem. ts a 3 part system to recovery. Medication, Councilling and Psyc Evaluation.

Keep yourself surrounded by people, dont spend time alone as this only increases the time available for you to "think"

Contact a group called "Aware" they are a support group that help people going through Depression and or people that are in a situation like yourself. They meet weekly in different towns across the country.

Feel free to sent me a PM if you want to talk or need any more information.

I promise you the feeling will pass, but you need to get help.

- Brian

AARRRGH

Maybe your life is worthless to you, but killing yourself is a waste. Plently of people and organisations in the world would love the use of your body and brain. You could help build houses in Africa, teach poor children in Asia, work in an orphanage in Romania, etc.

Not only would these things make you realise how precious life is, but I suspect they would also make you believe you can make a difference in this world and give you something to live for.

Overheal

dublindude wrote: »

Maybe your life is worthless to you, but killing yourself is a waste. Plently of people and organisations in the world would love the use of your body and brain. You could help build houses in Africa, teach poor children in Asia, work in an orphanage in Romania, etc.

Not only would these things make you realise how precious life is, but I suspect they would also make you believe you can make a difference in this world and give you something to live for.

This one required a re-read but the man makes an interesting case. In the end it is one other alternative to suicide as you are still basically giving up your life as you know it and becoming someone/something else; which is not always a bad thing.

People re-invent themselves all the time and quite often the thought of just giving it up will cross your mind. But re-create yourself you must. Try looking back and see how much you've changed in the last year? 5 years? 10 years? Follow that path of change and then figure out where you want to go next.

marthaclark

I am completely in awe of dublindude. that's the best advice I've heard on this subject in a long time.

After all, if you are contemplating suicide you probably feel like you've nothing more to lose.

And i truly believe that when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up.

In fact, I read an article in the observer last sunday (i think) about how sometimes it's necessary to reach rock bottom to reinvent your life because it can give you the incentive to step outside of all the emotional debris.. you don't fear.. you just be. when you have nothing to lose you have everything to gain. that depression can make you stronger.. something like that.

I'm not as eloquent as the journalist in question.. who I can't remember but yeah, when one door closes another opens. hang in there!

and keep talking. im no expert but i think the fact you can talk about this is a sign of strength. it tells me that there's still a part of you that wishes things weren't like this.. it tells me that yeah, you are aware that things look pretty ****e right now.. but it shouldn't be like this. you want to be happy. you deserve to be. you obviously havent given up on people yet (thank god!)

keep talking. you owe it to yourself if to no one else. there are a lot of good people in this world that have been pretty much where you are now. (have you considered talking to a counsellor? keep your mind open and reach out to someone who has trained in this area.. they might have more experience than they can tell you. people go into these jobs to make a difference, for whatever reason. you aren't alone)

LegacyUser

I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I can't remember ever being happy, or even content. I just don't see any way that I'm gonna get well. I've never lost faith in people, just myself. I have a meeting with a psychiatrist in a couple of weeks so I will see how it goes from there. As for talking to people, it's not that easy when you also suffer from social phobia and GAD. Doing work like building houses in Africa may be something I will look into; if I can't help myself I may as well try to help others.

Cheers for all the advice and support.

dream brother

Friend you dont know what tomorrow might bring! It might be bad or it might be good but the only to know is to stick around!!! And enjoy this life!

Sprouts

Really emotional reading this, I can understand how you feel. Life is a rough sea so you have to be able to swim my friend. Just think of the people that aren't here now and should be, my little brother died young, I cant get his happy little face out of my mind. Yes we are tested, and sometimes you might think you don't want to continue, please consider your family and friends who care for you and the emotional scarring it would bring. Think we are all a little lost, whats it all about? where are we going? whats the point? Not a religious person but you can see what they were trying to achieve, to give us a purpose, a reason to keep going, an afterlife. Life is here, now. I don't believe in heaven or hell because what we are living is a mixture of both.

Call Me Jimmy

near_the_end wrote: »

I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I can't remember ever being happy, or even content. I just don't see any way that I'm gonna get well. I've never lost faith in people, just myself. I have a meeting with a psychiatrist in a couple of weeks so I will see how it goes from there. As for talking to people, it's not that easy when you also suffer from social phobia and GAD. Doing work like building houses in Africa may be something I will look into; if I can't help myself I may as well try to help others.

Cheers for all the advice and support.

I'm in a very similar situation, in that I'm at rock bottom and there is absolutely nothing left for me. So I have been day dreaming about some great adventure to africa or whatever to help others, instead of ending my life I could enable others to live theirs. But for me that's just a stupid dream I know will never happen so I don't know if it'll be any different for you. I suspect though that the problems would go with you if you go away (I know they would for me) so I don't know how realistic that advice is.

john_aero

well i hope you are feeling ok today, i know how you feel, it was dreaming of flying and a bike adventure that got my mind ot it. the people that helped me most were thoes i didnt know on a forum a few months ago, so places like here are realy good to open up and let people help you feel better

marthaclark

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I'm in a very similar situation, in that I'm at rock bottom and there is absolutely nothing left for me. So I have been day dreaming about some great adventure to africa or whatever to help others, instead of ending my life I could enable others to live theirs. But for me that's just a stupid dream I know will never happen so I don't know if it'll be any different for you. I suspect though that the problems would go with you if you go away (I know they would for me) so I don't know how realistic that advice is.

I don't think it's a stupid dream. Maybe it's just a dream and it'll never happen, but it's certainly not stupid. Even if it remains a figment of your imagination.. hold onto your imagination. That's what gets me through the hard times. Here I am imagining I can give advice

Miss Fluff

How long ago were you prescribed medication? You need to give it a chance to work. Also, one drug that might suit one individual might not necessarily work for others. Have you gone back to your GP?

af_thefragile

Might have been said a million times before but suicide is the most cowardly act one can do.

I myself am guilty of feeling suicidal at many times in my life and the whole guilt of making my family suffer for my mistake was what kept me from going ahead.

But sucide is not a solution.
There's no problem thats too big to be solved. Think about the people in Africa. There are many who have no clue when their next meal is going to be leave alone all these stupid social issues we keep going through here.
Be happy you're living in a developed country with a roof on your head and descent clothes to keep you warm. Many people dream of things you've got right now. And you think your life sucks.


Medication is not a solution. It might make you feel good for a while, but so does cocaine and ecstasy. Its not a permanent solution. What you need to do is to go out there into the real world. See for yourself whats out there. There's a lot in store for you.

Talk to someone who can help you. A counsellor, psychologist.
Don't go to someone who'll just prescribe you with a bunch of pills. You'll need to look into yourself and find out where you've been going wrong. Work out your issues. Take an initiative and move!
Power comes from action. Just sitting on your ass all day thinking about how much life sucks will get you nowhere. Plan out HOW you're gonna change your life to make it better. Plan out WHAT you can do to get over your issues and find the life you want. Ask your self these questions and keep asking till you find the answers. Implement them, change your life.


Till then, if you get bored or don't have anything to do, find this movie and watch it. Its called 'The Peaceful Warrior'.
I highly recommend watching it about 4-5 times. There's a lot in that movie to learn.

estar

what do you think brought you to this point?

can you recall being happy in the past?

what does make you happy?

what do you like about yourself - and what dont you like?

my own personal thoughts on persistant thoughts of self
harm are - when you think how hard people fight to
survive, in certain situations, when your brain just gives
up on you like this, it means you really really need medical
attention and professional support. thats the way to frame it
to yourself. not - i should act on these thoughts but -
these thoughts mean i am ill.

that means re-visiting the doctor and getting different
medication and getting a counsellor.

fight this. you are worth it and exist for a reason
you are important to many people, and have a long
life of loving and giving ahead of you if you really choose
to engage with it. it can be better and feel better.

there are loads of people out there and on here to
listen to you and will you on your way.

samaritans - non judgemental listening and emotional support
accord - can put you in touch with counsellors that can
give you new skills to cope with stress and cope with helplessness
in the face of whatever adversity you are facing

the key to this is expressing those emotions and getting
the blackness from out of your head into words.

estar

near_the_end wrote: »

I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I can't remember ever being happy, or even content. I just don't see any way that I'm gonna get well. I've never lost faith in people, just myself. I have a meeting with a psychiatrist in a couple of weeks so I will see how it goes from there. As for talking to people, it's not that easy when you also suffer from social phobia and GAD. Doing work like building houses in Africa may be something I will look into; if I can't help myself I may as well try to help others.

Cheers for all the advice and support.

i am so delighted for you that you seeing a psychiatrist
thats one big step in the right direction

not everyone is innately born with the skills to deal
with the world they are born into, or the personality they have
some times you have to learn how to be you!!! if that
makes sense.

dont feel like a failure because you havent learned yet

hope is one of the most important emotions - it is the thread
by which we knit one moment to another
and sometimes negative thoughts can break down our hope
or a series of negative experiences, hope is something
you need to engage with and find -

how many negative thoughts do you have about yourself
every day, week, month. your inner dialogue is so important.
imagine if someone stood over me saying - you are useless
all day. it wouldnt take long before i felt useless, if i listened.
this is what you are doing to yourself.

social phobia is fundamentally a learned behaviour
and can be unlearned to the boundaries of your
personality and abilities, but it can definitely be eased
by the right person.

i hope you can see there is hope ahead for you
from the above. engage with the process with your
psychiatrist and believe in yourself.