Common Great Great Grandparents

LegacyUser

I met a girl before recently and we've gone on a few dates. We've slept together a few times and have had oral sex. She asked me when we first met what my surname was. It's not a common surname. She asked did I have any relations in the place her mother is from. I didn't know at the time. I asked my dad last night and it turn out that my great great grandfather came from there. So the closest relations we could be is that we have common great great great grandparents. Is it a bit weird that we have been sleeping together? I think it's a bit distant.

Victor

At that distance I don't think its a problem, assuming you aren't related in some other way.

Racing Flat

The average marriage in Europe is between 6th cousins, ie two people who share a great, great, great, great, great grandparent. Only learnt this recently - will have to check myself and the wife's family trees!!!

Unrelated parents have a 2% risk of having a child with a genetic problem. First cousins who marry have a 5% risk. So not as big an increased risk as you might think because we are esentially all descended from so few people. Imagine your typical small rural area/village in Ireland with a population of only a few hundred where people married people local enough, before we had much transport etc. They must have been very closely related. 1million of the 3million whites living in South Africa in 1972 were descended form 40 original settlers and their wives....

You have probably been with someone much more closely related to you previously, particularly in a place as small as Ireland, you just didn't realise it.

Damn the rare name or you'd have never known and could carry on without it playing at the back of your mind.

kraggy

OP, love the name. Good to see you can look at this in a relaxed light.

And you're right. It's not an issue in my opinion. If that's the closest relation you could be to each other, then I say go for it, enjoy it and don't let it play on your mind one bit.

mikemac

Interesting thread and I'm suprised it got so few replies

The law allows 1st cousins to marry afaik so I'd say.
Great great great grandparents is so distant it's not worth worrying about.

Having said that, I once went out a girl and we had the same surname but were from different counties and completly unrelated. Man, the stupid jokes I put up with :mad:

legspin

Second cousins seemingly is the most dangerous (Grand parents were siblings). Why, I have no idea. Third cousins is ok. Mind you,the Queen is married to her third cousin afaik, and look how her kids turned out;).

DublinWriter

legspin wrote: »

Mind you,the Queen is married to her third cousin afaik, and look how her kids turned out;).

Most of the British Royal Family suffer from a rare form of Hemophilia said to be caused by in-breeding.

spurious

I have taught children whose parents were first cousins. As far as I know, the trouble starts when it is a repeated pattern of relationships, rather than one blip somewhere in a family tree.
It's more common than people think, especially in communities which are small and who do not look outside 'their own' for mates.
I also taught a class once where 16 of 20 children were first cousins (inner city Dublin).

Robbiethe3rd

That means your probably only around 6% genetically similar (just wanted to point that out). Wouldnt really think of that as a big deal at ths stage but is a coincidence alright!

Balmed Out

I wouldnt be too worried but do expect a mocking

Esel

If you share great great great grandparents, that makes you fourth cousins. Can't see that as a problem at all tbh.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Robbiethe3rd wrote: »

That means your probably only around 6% genetically similar (just wanted to point that out). Wouldnt really think of that as a big deal at ths stage but is a coincidence alright!

No, thats how similar they would be to their great great grandparents. Considering they're cousins it makes the genetic similarity much much smaller.

Lollipops23

My boyfriend and my grandmother share the same surname(common name but unusual spelling) and his father comes from the same village that she was born in.....dunno if we're distantly related,if we were it would be very distant!!but it doesn't bother us at all!!if it's reeeally distant it doesn't matter at all and if you had kids they'd most likely be fine.

aidan24326

Fourth cousins is no big deal. You don't even have to tell people you are, just say you're not related, because really you're not (not closely anyway). Nobody considers fourth cousins to be a relative in the general sense, you wouldn't even know who they are.

Think about it this way. How many people know all their fourth cousins? How many people know any of them for that matter? I know I don't. It's not something you'd even think about.

The average person probably has a couple of hundred fourth cousins , and not having a clue who the vast majority of them even are. So it stands to reason that lots of people have relationships with fourth cousins without even realising. In a small country like Ireland it's inevitable. I wouldn't say you've anything to worry about.

Victor

legspin wrote: »

Second cousins seemingly is the most dangerous (Grand parents were siblings).

No, it is where there was a second (recent) in-breeding.

LegacyUser

Balmed Out wrote: »

I wouldnt be too worried but do expect a mocking

I haven't told any of my mates and don't intend doing so.

The thread title was right btw and I got confused when I was typing the message. The closest we could possibly be is thrid cousins. My Great Grandfather emigrated from her town. So the closest we could be is third cousins by having common Great Great Grandparents.

Yes, I do see the funny side. She's a demon in the sack so it would be a pity to let a little thing like this get in the way.