guys+ sex

LegacyUser

I've been going out with a guy for a few months+ we have discussed sex+ will do soon enough as it's what we both want. I was just wondering, if for guys, is sex usually more special if they took things slow+ wait a few months, instead of sleeping with someone straight away, or does it not make much of a difference?

King of Kings

there is no set rule. it's whatever you feel comfortable with.
There is no harm in waiting a short time. It won't be the end of the world for him (if he really likes you for being you and not just sex)

Talliesin

Sex is more special when it is right for those involved. Whether this requires to get to know someone more or not will depend on them, rather than being a matter any generalisation will hold for.

People old enough to have sex should have grown out of the idea that all members of the opposite sex are pretty much the same anyway.

Nevyn

Everyone is different and general answers won't help you, you need to talk about this with your guy.

LundiMardi

Fair play to the guy waiting that long!!! If i were going out with someone i would be getting slightly worried if nothing(at all) had happened after the 1 month stage.

Rb

When it feels right I suppose, the timing of which could be vastly different for everyone.

As Thaed said, talk to your guy.

Froot

It depends on the other person and how you feel in general.

Aside from sex being "special" I think that it changes depending on who your with. I mean I went out with girls where I didnt want to sleep with them straight away and others who I did.

Whatever feels comfortable for the both of you is fine. Unless he is too shy or a virgin he will signal sex when he feels like it.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

question2007 wrote:

I've been going out with a guy for a few months+ we have discussed sex+ will do soon enough as it's what we both want. I was just wondering, if for guys, is sex usually more special if they took things slow+ wait a few months, instead of sleeping with someone straight away, or does it not make much of a difference?

id be worried. if he is that willing to wait he is probably getting it some where else.
men have only one brain when it comes to sex, and that between our legs
ask any prostitute if waiting make it more special of the guy.
sorry, its sad but true.

Talliesin

\m/_(>_<)_\m/ wrote:

ask any prostitute if waiting make it more special of the guy.

Which would be a valid survey if all men used prostitutes and all men considered sex with a prostitute to be exactly the same as sex with a partner. Since neither of those are even close to the truth it's as pointless to ask prostitutes about their experiences in this regard as it is to ask a celibate aesthete living as a hermit.

OP, please don't read my pointing this out as insulting your intelligence. I'm sure you worked that out yourself.

LegacyUser

'id be worried. if he is that willing to wait he is probably getting it some where else.
men have only one brain when it comes to sex, and that between our legs
ask any prostitute if waiting make it more special of the guy.
sorry, its sad but true.'

Cheers for the replies everyone

So does anyone believe that guys can be old fashioned anymore!??... a few months+ you're saying he's getting it elsewhere. He's not that sort of guy. (thanks for your point of view though.. interesting)
What I was trying to ask... GUYS>>> would it make a difference, if you met a girl+ had sex the first night you met, OR, if you met a girl, waited a few months, then had sex. Would there be a difference?. From a girl's perspective, personally, it would be more special for me waiting the extra time. But I know... everyone is different+ there's no right answer. I was just interesting in hearing people's general views. Thanks.

CathyMoran

I waited nearly a year before having sex with the man who was to become my husband, there are still men there who do not mind waiting.

BeardyGit

I've gone to bed with a couple of women I was mad about over the years, before I'd formed any kind of real emotional bond with them. And as soon as the moment was over, I'd lost interest. It sounds terrible, but they were too easy - Especially because I wasn't even trying to be quite honest. While they were lovely girls in their own right, I got the feeling they weren't the kind of girls I'd want as girlfriends.

That said, I've had girlfriends who I went to be with very soon after meeting them (hours/days/weeks) with whom I had a really wonderful time, and of whom I thought and still think very highly.

In my experience, I've formed a stronger attraction and bond with the women I've had the pleasure of getting to know for a little longer and that's meant we were going to bed on a stronger foundation, if you follow what I mean.

What I'm saying is that yes, guys sometimes just walk away from a girl after getting some. I've done it a couple of times, many of us (probably most of us over a certain age) have done it. But in my own experience, that's actually had more to do with my general interest in that person on more than just the physical level. If you two share caring and loving moments with each other already, the chances are you're going to be just fine, or as fine as any of us were the first time.

Well, hope that helps you. Out of interest, how old are you both?

Gil

keynesian

I wouldn't bother going out with some one if I didn't get sex on the first date. In fact over the last 4 year(which is about the length of time I've been sexaul active) I have only gone out with poeple I slept with first.

Moral::: Sex first, talk latter.

Talliesin

keynesian wrote:

Moral::: Sex first, talk latter.

Is only a moral if either she's dating you, or every other person in the world thinks like you.

LundiMardi

i could go without sex for as long as possible... but i don't think i could go without sexual contact, and i don't mean kissing.

But if i liked the girl a lot i would, but i'd still be worried if nothing was happening .

kittenkiller

LundiMardi wrote:

Fair play to the guy waiting that long!!! If i were going out with someone i would be getting slightly worried if nothing(at all) had happened after the 1 month stage.

OP doesn't say how old she is and doesn't say that nothing "at all" has happened so far.
Hold yer horses man!

OP it depends on the guy in question.
If you can't bring yourself to ask your boyfriend (1. seriously reconsider if having sex with him will be worth the wait, and 2.) why not ask guys that you actually know how they feel about it?
Sometimes things differ from what a guy posts on the interweb and how he feels when there's a real live girl involved and it realtes to his own love life.

randylonghorn

\m/_(>_<)_\m/ wrote:

id be worried. if he is that willing to wait he is probably getting it some where else.
men have only one brain when it comes to sex, and that between our legs

Untrue. I reckon I'm as horny as the next guy, and the lower brain shouts loudly and gets listened to at times, but that doesn't mean that the upper brain disengages, unless totally awash with alcohol! In my experience, the more seriously I am into a woman, the more I think with the upper brain. As to the "getting it somewhere else", most of us figured out how to deal with the lack of a readily available partner by about age 13! Jeez, I thought *I* was cynical! :rolleyes:

OP, I think everybody would answer your original question differently ... everybody has a different idea of what "taking it slow" is, and certainly "a few months" would feel like a long time to me ... I think I would be beginning to wonder if there was something wrong, tbh. But again, it IS different for everyone.

The one thing I would just point out is that if you build up to it for a long time you may be putting extra pressure on both of you when the moment finally arrives. I know this happened to friends of mine when they were fairly young ... they held off for the "perfect moment" and by the time the moment arrived on their first holiday away together they were both so wound up that the perfect moment turned into a disaster. They laugh about it now, but it wasn't so funny at the time!

Not saying that that is likely to happen, but it's just something to bear in mind, rather than raising the bar too high ...

keynesian

keynesian wrote:

I wouldn't bother going out with some one if I didn't get sex on the first date. In fact over the last 4 year(which is about the length of time I've been sexaul active) I have only gone out with poeple I slept with first.

Don't mean to judge you or anything, but that's ridiculous. You're gonna meet someone one night who you think is a cracker and, for one reason or another, you won't have sex. (no place to go, her period, no johnnies etc. etc.). By your own admission, are you gonna then say "nah, babes, we didn't have sex, therefore we can't go out. Thems the rules unfortunately"

To the OP.........I've went months with new girlfriends without having sex. Can be frustrating but, so be it. It DID make it better in the long run but if i'd thought she was making me wait for this reason alone i'd have dumped her ass quicker than Superman with diarrhoea (sp?). When you're ready, you're ready. End of. If he won't wait, then he ain't worth it.

I've also had sex with girls on the first date, and it didn't make me think any less/more of them.

(a)Waiting / (b)Not waiting does NOT make you (a) Frigid/(b) a slut.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

keynesian wrote:

I wouldn't bother going out with some one if I didn't get sex on the first date. In fact over the last 4 year(which is about the length of time I've been sexaul active) I have only gone out with poeple I slept with first.

Moral::: Sex first, talk latter.

so true, most "normal" men think like that.

Black Swan

When the feelings are mutual, the time is right (unless you are under the age of consent, when there are other considerations imposed by society).

Marksie

question2007 wrote:

What I was trying to ask... GUYS>>> would it make a difference, if you met a girl+ had sex the first night you met, OR, if you met a girl, waited a few months, then had sex. Would there be a difference?. /QUOTE]

No it wouldn't make any difference if we had sex on the first night or waited. It depends on the dynamic.
Perhaps it has something to do with age and experience, that we dont worry about getting to first basse second base etc. within set time limits.

It happens when it feels natural is the bottom line. if you have discussed it thoroughly with your boyfriend then it will happen in its won way and when it menat to.