Better off with or without self harm?

LegacyUser

Basically, I've been cutting for a year and a half. I don't think there's anything serious connected to it, I think it's just the normal stuff that annoys teenagers. I don't see it as serious cos I know a lot of people who used to cut and something like 12% of adolescents self-harm at some point, or so I've read. I've only told three ppl about in and in one case it was to show my friend I understood what she was going through in one way or another. None of them have brought it up with me since november and I think they think I've stopped.
It doesn't really bother me that much cos it helps a lot, and every time I've tried to stop I just ended up feeling unbearably awful. I don't really like opening up to people, I might break down and tell them a little bit but I've never really opened up to anyone fully, so cutting helps me feel better, gives me the release talking would. I suppose I should talk to people but I don't want to tell them anything about how i feel cos they'd just feel bad too. The only annoying thing is hiding the cuts but that's easy cos I just do that in places no one's going to see like my hips and thighs. I don't mind being addicted to it coz it helps.
So I suppose what I'm asking is is it better to continue cutting cos it's not a horrible thing, it is in fact wuite helpful and loadsa people go through it, or should i go to a doctor for antidepressants to replace to high from cutting or back to the psychologist I went to for bereavement counselling and see if I can sort it out? I'm afraid to tell my parents that I cut so would I be better off getting over it over time than telling them?

Nuttzz

Please Please get some help from a professional, if you dont know where to look your (or any) GP will be able to advise you. The lasting scars of self harm always lead to questions about how/why you have those scars while in turn opens up the old hurt. Cutting yourself is not the solution, if talking about it helps post here everytime you feel like cutting yourself but from now on post instead of cut (in the short run) but please go and see a pro.

Penfolds

Cutting is not something that most people get over if they've done it more than once or twice.
I spent 3 months in hospital a few years ago with depression and while I only cut myself once or twice it never really helped me so I can't understand directly the sense of release you get, but I met so many people in hospital that had cut themselves and it's not something that's going to stop on it's own (one girl I met only got help when she had to go to A&E and nearly died with blood poisoning after 4 years of cutting ....sorry if i'm scaring you, but you need to know that just because the cuts seem harmless and only skin deep they can still be dangerous to your health).

You really need to speak to someone about it. Your GP prescribing anti-d's won't help unless you get to talk to someone (and anyway most GP's will refer anyone who cuts to a shrink to get to the root of the problem) as medication while it may help will only mask the problem rather than treating it.

I'd suggest giving Aware or the samaritans a call, it can be a lot easier to tell an anonymous person at the end of the phone your problems and these people have the training to given proper advice to you.

Samaritans 1850 60 90 90
Aware 1890 303 302


As Nutzzz said, please get some help for yourself....even if you only ring one of the numbers above !

feylya

First, get some help.
Second, there's hundreds of other ways of getting rid of those feelings. Even if it's just going for a run, it's better than cutting.

Smellyirishman

Ye knowing friends that have done it and still do, it is usually counter productive at some stage, be it from holding back or from poisoning etc...

Or future questions that may be raised by the scars (this is not a comfortable situation and it is usually VERY obvious what they are!)

Anyway, I say, if it is depression seek help, if it has been happening over a long time then you should go to the GP just to get an opinion. If its just something you do when pissed (not in a drunken way) then try to get a different "release". Music can help A LOT and friends are invaluable at this stage, get a mate you can trust and talk to him, or at least let him no your not feeling 100%. If its not depression and just an "activity" do ANYTHING else, dig a hole in your back garden and fill it back in! anything else!

As I said, It may seem like a release but this is always 100% counter productive at some stage.

To answer the question, ALWAYS better without

damntheman

I used to do it, until my dad found out when I was 14. I was so ashamed. I don't do it anymore, but sometimes I feel like it will help. It made me feel like I could control my pain and my life. I replaced the pain I was feeling with that. I don't open up to people because it's hard for me to trust and because I have a very low self esteem and always think the worst when it comes to me. But seriously, I finally opened up and talked to some of my friends and it was the best thing I've ever done. You need to talk to people, and you need people there to help you. I'm over it now, but sometimes when I get really really upset it comes across my mind, but then I realize that I'm better than that. You need to realize that you're better than that. Again, I know I sound trite, but you really should find someone to talk to about it.

Hello Kitty

My friend used to that aswell, she was taking her anger (towards her family and other people) out on herself, by cutting herself.... Then shed come into school with cuts everywere, and because of her problem she was kicked out of school.


I think you should get help because your starting to think that cutting yourself helps when it doesnt at all.... you just need to talk to someone about it, and no they wont feel bad because its there job,and theyll help you through it.
If you keep doing it, itll only get worse.

Good luck

Sarky

You'd be amazed at how good it feels to talk to someone about problems, you really would, believe you me. The above advice is sound. Heed it and you'll be well on your way to feeling better.

Bunnyefey

I know exactly what you're going through, I've been there too and I know that when I was cutting it did make my problems disappear for awhile but at the end of the day, the problems don't completely vanish do they? They stick around and then you continue cutting and it becomes a vicious cycle.

And like other people are saying, you can end up scarred and people will ask you where you got them from. Luckily, most of my scars are pretty faded and the ones that are still there are on the top of my legs and hip so not many people see them. About the scarring, as they are probably still quite fresh, I'd recommend that you put pure vitamin E on them to help fade. It works

But talking to someone will help, only if you want help though. Take your time though, but I really want you to know that stopping is the only way to start moving forward to a better place. I got help eventually and I haven't looked back since. Im a happier person and while I know some people don't agree with anti-depressants, I found that they helped turn my life around once I found the right one. But whatever you decide, its gonna be awhile before you start to feel better and you will have to work at it. Think positively about each step you take, it will make a difference.

Blinda

Your feelings matter. You need to be taken seriously and you deserve to take the best care of yourself that you can while you are self-harming. Just because you are hurting yourself dosen't mean your safety and your health don't matter. It's important to keep the damage to a minimum.
If you can find ways of dealing with painfull things then you might find you dont want to self-harm as often. You can stay in CONTROL and have choices about how you cope.

Sometimes people hurt themselves because it helps take their mind off painfull feelings - like a DISTRACTION. Being able to use distraction strategies (which you do) is a SKILL. This can be transferred into other 'distractions' or coping methods (like busying yourself in school things or, burying yourself in work) may be more acceptable, but can still be harmful. Another distraction strategy might be to get yourself away from places or things associated with hurting yourself.

IF YOU ARE NOT SURE WHAT TO DO - you could;
Ask a Pharmacist (at the chemist's) for advice, or your GP.
Ring Accident & Emergency at your local hospital.
Ring NHS Direct and talk to one of us nurses.
Ring 01509 210420 YOUTH ACCESS will put you in touch with young peoples support projects in your area.
Ring 0181 514 1177 CARELINE
Ring 0181 522 1728 MIND Info Line.

embee

Blinda wrote:

IF YOU ARE NOT SURE WHAT TO DO - you could;
Ask a Pharmacist (at the chemist's) for advice, or your GP.
Ring Accident & Emergency at your local hospital.
Ring NHS Direct and talk to one of us nurses.
Ring 01509 210420 YOUTH ACCESS will put you in touch with young peoples support projects in your area.
Ring 0181 514 1177 CARELINE
Ring 0181 522 1728 MIND Info Line.

Chances are he/she is in Ireland....

Victor

"unsure" there are some helpful links and phone numbers here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=57416

I have PTSD (car accident, dead people, losing job, etc.).

Cutting freaks me out. Bring a blade near me and I will have the urge to batter you. It's one thing removing a splinter, but well I'd need to be sedated before you cut my skin.

If the cutting is a release for stress, exercise might work better. Stress is caused by adrenilin and exercise will use up the adrenilin.

You should be careful to make sure you don't get an infection.

luckat

Blinda, those numbers are English; they won't work if Guest is in Ireland - though they're great resources.

Guest, if you're in Ireland, maybe you might call Samaritans for a start (1850-609090). Bodywhys mostly deals with anorexia and bulimia, but you could also try them (01-2835126); ChildLine also deals with this (1800-666-666) and there's a bunch of emergency services numbers on page 2 of the phone directory.

Cutting yourself isn't a good way of treating your problems. It's like getting drunk - it'll make you feel better for a little while, then when you sober up, things won't have improved very much.

What you need is to find actions that tackle the cause, not the symptoms.

Not all therapies are talking therapies. Behavioural therapies actually teach you ways of acting that are better adapted - this might suit you better.

(There are two basic schools of thought in psychology at the moment. One says that if you're depressed or otherwise mildly ill, you should go back to the source of these feelings, and by discovering that source, the feelings will resolve themselves - that's the "talking cure" school, like Freudian or Jungian or Kleinian analysis. The other says that feelings like depression can be dealt with by changing behaviour. This is the behavioural school. One of its theories is "superstitious behaviour" - you take up a particular behaviour because you do it once and it makes you feel better, so you keep doing it in search of those feelings, and get into a vicious circle. Behavioural therapy would help you to find different actions that give you the same good feelings, but don't hurt you.)

The fact that you've posted here suggests that you're ready to move on from cutting yourself. Maybe you should think of looking for therapy to help you cope in a different way.

Blinda

Gueat. Sooo sorry!! I clean forgot you are in Ireland. Luckly you have got some excellent advice from this thread, and using this medium as one of your distractions might also help.

You have started the process towards asking for help. You need to go for that help when it's rightfor you. But don't leave it too long.
You could continue by doing some research to find out the best places for you in your area. You could log onto your Health Board, look in the phone book, or ask in the library or Advice centre - or as others here have advised, why not try the helpline no's given.

jinxycat

guest, please do get help, cutting is serious harm, not only will you be scared but the scare will always remind you of what's hurting you. many people go through alot of **** in there lifes.

if you feel you don't have any close friends you can talk to do ring those numbers, also instead of cutting try something else like writing down how you feel, i felt this to be very good when i went through tough times, which believe me i have, some i didn't want to discuss with people.

i hurt for along time when my folks split, was 13 at the time, i was missing school and everything for a year, so when they found out why i was missing the time they helped me out, they set up a programme in the school for those who lost people close to them, so ring those numbers and talk to them, it helps.

best of luck to whatever you decide, if you do decide to tell your parents they'll support you in your decissions.
keep on smiling