looking akward

LegacyUser

Basically this post is about someone who is unhappy with their appearance. I am talking about my own personal appearance and how its wrecking my head everyday. Any time I see myself in a mirror, when Im walking by lets say, I have an unusual and akward posture and I dread seeing that. Anytime I am in a photo, a natural shot lets say, I look really gangly and akward and its driving me insane. I hate seeing myself and I want to change it fast. Anytime I see myself I think that I look like an easy target for taunts and abuse, although this never usually happens. Only sometimes but I would pass it off as a joke to show I dont care. As a younger person I was quite servile and I rarely stood up for myself.

Ill try to put this in perspective for you. You ever see someone look at another person and say 'Jaysus look at the head on him !'. Well thats what Im afraid people could be saying about me. I know you will say 'well ignore those kind of people theyre assholes', but I do but the fact still remains that it has been said, its only the assholes who would blurt it out loud to make themselves look good.

I have thought about this alot and I have already covered all the obvious answers, things like ' your a beautiful person inside thats what matters'. Been there I have been told that a load of times but it fails to instill any self belief that I need.

Ill give you a bit of background. Im 22 years old and male and Im still in college, with another year to go.

Is there any excercise I can take up to correct this unusual posture ? Im doing weights at the moment but they dont seem to be helping.

When people look at me I want them to see someone who is not to be messed with, someone who they can talk to and someone who they can confide in, someone who isnt childish ( i dont act childish at all, infact im a bit too serious at times but I look young ). I hate looking like someone who is a soft target, I want to improve myself so I can feel good about myself and when I look good I can feel good.

This rant is convoluted and you might not entirely understand my predicament, but I just need to vent this stuff out. thanks for reading guys....

Beruthiel

Originally posted by se_dfr
I have thought about this alot and I have already covered all the obvious answers, things like ' your a beautiful person inside thats what matters'. Been there I have been told that a load of times but it fails to instill any self belief that I need

would that be because you lack the self esteem to believe it?
I have never chosen a friend based on the way they look, but rather who they are, surely you can understand that and belief it also?

Is there any excercise I can take up to correct this unusual posture ? Im doing weights at the moment but they dont seem to be helping

have you bad posture because you just didn't bother as a kid or is it because of a defect in your spine?
if it the former, then why not try what the models do and practice walking around the room with a book on your head?
if it's the latter, perhaps the doctor can help you

ChipZilla

Forget the weights, they could make your posture worse. The you dress could make a big difference. Also try Beruthiel's suggestion about walking around the room with a book on your head. An assertiveness course or something like that might do your self-esteem some good as well. If you're in Dublin, there's a "Self Development Skills" course in (I think) UCD which might be just the thing for you. Do a search for "self development" on http://www.nightcourses.com/

You might find something similar in your locality if you're not in Dublin.

Sleepy

Taking up a martial art could improve your posture. Yoga would probably help too...

Johnny Versace

Maybe I'm having a blonde day, but are you saying your think your posture is messed up, or it actually is messed up?

What happens when you stand up straight?

You can teach yourself to walk and stand differently.

Think of it like this: when I was an San Francisco a few years ago, I saw a (black) father smack his child and told him to "do the walk". This "walk" was the "cool, black dude" walk, rather than the normal white guy walk the kid was doing.

I'm sure this kid now walks the way his father wants him to, without even thinking about it.

...

But anyway...

Can you get girls easily? Do you have any good features?

If I were you I'd start with the basics. Get a nice haircut, some new clothes, some nice cologne. Then I'd take up a martial art for general posture/confidence.

After a few weeks I'm sure you'll start to feel better.

...

The problem does sound very much like an issue in your head. We all have things about us we hate (I hate my teeth, they're a bit ****ed up - I always think people are staring at them when I smile, although apparantly this is crazy according to friends) so try not to fret too much...

Sarn

I also have pretty bad posture. As I suffer minor back problems I had to go to a physiotherapist (injured myself foolishly and ignored it for several years, she knew where I had injured myself 4 years later from how bad my muscles were!). While sorting me out she pointed out my poor posture and basically told me that this wasn't helping things either.

She told me that my poor posture (swayback posture) could be remedied by doing certain stretching exercises i.e. you have to correct particular weakened muscles (lower back etc.). I also had to correct how I sat and stood, it's amazing what you do unconsciously until it's pointed out to you.

Anyway my advice is go to a professional and get their opinion, they'll give you the proper regime of exercises. What's a couple of euros if it helps you sort out your posture and makes you feel better? If you carry on like that it's like a chain reaction, one area will affect everything else and before you know it you'll have more probs.

LegacyUser

hey its me the original poster. i dont do very well with girls at all. its been about two years since i last kissed one.

I have a question, and I want you to be brutally honest! If you have an active enough social life and your out with your mates, and no girl ever comes up to you to start chatting to you, does that mean your pug ugly ? I know thats a very vague question, but could you give me some answers. What factors can affect this. I know that if I go into a pub or a nightclub I *never* get hit on by a girl, and my mates tell me all the time about women coming up to them and asking for their number. I just find this so hard to take when they have all the luck and i cant even get my foot in the door.

it seems also that good looking girls dont even want to talk to me!!!

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Etain

correct how I sat and stood,

This can make such a huge difference.
Sit up straight! Hold your head up ! We all heard this as kids, it turns out that it is good advice. You may have to consciously remind yourself to sit up straight, but after a while,it will become automatic. When you're standing, make a point of holding your head up. Besides helping your posture, it can also improve your attitude/ self-esteem. Of course, it you're having back problems/pain, you should see a doctor.

embee

When I was a teenager, I had pretty terrible posture. I went to see a chiropractor, and he got me one of these :




A posture chair. They work wonders in training you how to sit correctly and your back is pulled gently into a more correct position by the position you are sitting in.

OfflerCrocGod

Originally posted by embee
A posture chair. They work wonders in training you how to sit correctly and your back is pulled gently into a more correct position by the position you are sitting in.

embee I have one of those chairs and I find it does nothing at all:( - I think it's because of my shortness, as I am actually too small to hook my feet to the end of the chair without feeling uncomfortable. Have you no problems in that regard? I tend to slouch around a lot:ninja:

embee

Originally posted by OfflerCrocGod
embee I have one of those chairs and I find it does nothing at all:( - I think it's because of my shortness, as I am actually too small to hook my feet to the end of the chair without feeling uncomfortable. Have you no problems in that regard? I tend to slouch around a lot:ninja:

Well. I am 5 ft 10 so... being too short for the chair is not an issue. They are adjustable though for all heights, well at least the decent ones are. I think the idea of them is to distribute some of the load onto the knees and away from the pelvis, thus lessening the forward pull on the spine. Well.. I know it worked for me. I used to slouch terribly and now my back is pretty straight. A friend of mine who has scoliosis (curvature of the spine) was given one of these chairs to encourage her spine to straighten, and it has worked pretty well for her.

Also, if you have a severe slouch, a chiropractor can fit you with a posture brace to wear underneath your clothes. They aren't that comfortable to begin with but you get used to them and they do work.

LegacyUser

hey

original poster here. im 6ft 3 and I look like a young Rodney Trotter from only fools and horses. You can see my predicament now. I hate looking like this !

fragile

Johnny Versace wrote:

Think of it like this: when I was an San Francisco a few years ago, I saw a (black) father smack his child and told him to "do the walk". This "walk" was the "cool, black dude" walk, rather than the normal white guy walk the kid was doing.

Brilliant

Typedef

Sleepy wrote:

Taking up a martial art could improve your posture. Yoga would probably help too...

Yoga would certainly help you meet women who could do very flexable things with their legs.

Most likely that's perferable/the root motivation of, your desire not to slouch.

Yes, yes, a flexable yoga chick is what you need.

Johnny Versace

ed_i wrote:

hey its me the original poster. i dont do very well with girls at all. its been about two years since i last kissed one.

I have a question, and I want you to be brutally honest! If you have an active enough social life and your out with your mates, and no girl ever comes up to you to start chatting to you, does that mean your pug ugly ? I know thats a very vague question, but could you give me some answers. What factors can affect this. I know that if I go into a pub or a nightclub I *never* get hit on by a girl, and my mates tell me all the time about women coming up to them and asking for their number. I just find this so hard to take when they have all the luck and i cant even get my foot in the door.

it seems also that good looking girls dont even want to talk to me!!!

Hey this is totally normal.

A girl very rarely walks up to a guy to talk to him. It has nothing to do with you.

Seriously! Don't sweat over this.

Webmonkey

You know what might help seriously but its a commitment....If you let your hair grow long out of control. It what i done and now i look back to photos when it was short and it suited me a lot better i think and well I see myself as a different person in the photos and i'm not scared to look at them either. It helps me...now i just wanna cut the hair off!

senan_scanlon

I had exactly the same problem as you. Go to a chiropractor for an assessment. You may have problems with your spine which need to be treated.

If the problem is muscular and not in your spine then Pilates are supposed to be excellent for improving posture. I can post a couple of exercises which I saw in a magazine which may help. You may also consider enrolling in a Pilates course. A six week course should only cost you around fifty euro.