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Yesterday, 20:13   #7711
Alaskimo-cake
Eat the food, Tina!
 
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Location: Driving deep into the throat of the countryside
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I called the ISPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."

"That's terrible," she replied. "Are they moving?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
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Yesterday, 21:25   #7712
wilhelm roentgen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinneenp View Post
Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
...because he's married
Stevie Wonder got a Cheese Grater for his birthday present.


He said it was the best book he's ever read!
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Yesterday, 22:07   #7713
Dard23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wilhelm roentgen
Stevie Wonder got a Cheese Grater for his birthday present.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wilhelm roentgen
He said it was the best book he's ever read!

The version I heard was funnier, he said it was the goriest book he ever read.
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Yesterday, 23:49   #7714
Hotblack Desiato
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michael.dublin View Post
One day he met the girl of his dreams and they fell in love. He thought to himself "She'll never marry me so he gave up the baked beans he loved”. A few months later, his car broke down, called the wife and told her he would be late as he had to walk home.
well maybe he should have divorced her and married the girl of his dreams, his wife sounds like a wagon


Quote:
Originally Posted by Curly Judge View Post
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."

Camille Paglia
I believe that was the late comedian George Burns, and he might have actually road-tested that


Quote:
" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

Oscar Wilde
The man was a genius
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